


When I'm Shaken, When I'm Lost

by dalex_allen



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Post-Canon, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, end of war discussions, i think i don't actually know the drinking age in this universe lol, i'm bad at tags just let me know if i'm missing something, kataang being adorable in the background, lots of flying on appa, somewhat roadtrip au, the space sword makes a comeback, there is penguin sledding, zuko apologizes to people, zuko is a disaster
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:40:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 52,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27222892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dalex_allen/pseuds/dalex_allen
Summary: The war is over. The Gaang have dispersed back to their homes. Zuko and Aang are left in the Fire Nation, trying to deal with all the politics of ending a war. On a visit to the South Pole, they gather up the Gaang again, and various adventures ensue. Throughout it all, Zuko starts to look at Sokka differently, but it takes him a long time to figure out why.
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Mai/Sokka/Suki/Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11
Collections: ATLA Polyamory Fics





	When I'm Shaken, When I'm Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Fic title adapted from Harbor Me by The Mountain Goats. Chapter title from Get Famous by The Mountain Goats. No lie, I spent a stupid amount of time just reading through the lyrics of every Mountain Goats song to find the perfect lyric.
> 
> Bet you can't figure out what my favorite band is.

Zuko wasn’t sure what to call this room anymore. It had been the War Room for a hundred years, but there wasn’t a war anymore. It still looked exactly the same, with the map and the throne and the dingy lighting, but the purpose now was entirely different. Aang had suggested the Peace Room. Zuko was still mulling that over.

He had been spending a lot of time in the Not-War Room since his coronation. It turns out, ending a century-long war was harder than just saying it was over. There were all sorts of things he needed to sort out. They had already sent out orders to stop fighting, taken bids from contractors to rebuild the Palace City, and discussed prison sentences for Azula and Ozai.

Today, it was the Fire Nation army. The nation’s top generals and admirals gathered around the map, just like the old days. But this time, the Avatar was here, too.

“With all due respect, my Lord,” one general said, “we can’t just tell them all they don’t have a job anymore. There’s too many of them, they’d riot.”

“The sailors, too,” an admiral chimed in, nodding. “And they’ve got all the firepower now.”

“I’m not suggesting that we just kick them out on the street,” Zuko replied. He was not on the throne, but rather on the floor with the rest of them. Being on the throne made him feel too much like his father. Aang sat to his right. “But they’re not needed for war anymore. I don’t want a standing army. The more soldiers we have, the harder it will be to stop the war.”

“They could help rebuild,” Aang offered. “Or, clean up some of the mess. The Earth Kingdom is already damaged enough without having to clean it all up themselves.”

A murmur of agreement passed around the room. Many of these advisers had been reluctant to accept the Avatar into their meetings, and Zuko understood. A lifetime of propaganda will do that. Some of them were probably still loyal, at least in part, to Ozai. Lots of citizens were, too. But the more time this council spent with Aang, the more they seemed to like him.

“My Lord, as much as we all agree with...the Avatar’s suggestion, it will be just as hard to get our men to do that as to quit outright. They’ve spent their whole lives fighting this war. As have the rest of us.”

“Exactly,” another admiral chimed in. “How are we meant to convince them to...switch sides?”

“There are no sides anymore,” Zuko said. “That’s the point of ending a war, getting rid of sides. We need to restore the balance of the world, and there’s no better way than to clean up the mess we created ourselves.” He stood and walked out over the map, which no longer had tiny figures for each regiment. “The burden of this war, and all the destruction it caused, lies solely with our nation. My great-grandfather disrupted the balance of the world, and my grandfather and father both did their part to uphold his legacy. The only way to restore balance is to do it ourselves.”

“But isn’t it... _his_ job to restore the balance?” The first admiral nodded towards Aang. “I mean, if he’d stopped Fire Lord Sozin when he was Roku, there wouldn’t have been a war to end.”

“Aang has done his part,” Zuko replied tersely. “He’s done more than anyone could have expected, given the circumstances. The Avatar is supposed to keep balance, but he can’t do it alone. It’s been a long time, and no one alive remembers what it was like before, but it was once the duty of everyone to help the Avatar keeping the balance.”

“And I’m going to help,” Aang said, getting to his feet and standing beside Zuko. He still barely reached Zuko’s nose. “Any way that I can. But one person, even the Avatar, can’t undo a hundred years of war.”

“It’s going to be a very tough sell, my Lord. But...we will do what the Fire Lord desires.”

The other generals nodded in agreement. Zuko figured it was the best he was going to get for a while, so he nodded as well.

“I want this policy enacted as soon as possible,” he said. “Wherever the troops are, they can begin cleaning up. I want special attention paid to the coast, where my father started his raid, and Ba Sing Se. You’re all dismissed. I’ll send a hawk when I want the next meeting.”

Once the Not-War Room was empty except for Aang, Zuko fell into the throne and covered his face. “I hate these meetings,” he said, his voice muffled by his hands.

“I know,” Aang said. Zuko heard him sit beside the throne. “You say that every time.”

“I mean it every time. I hate having to work with them. For so many years, they...they did exactly what my father told them, even if they thought it was wrong. And who knows if they ever thought it was wrong? They’d never be honest with us if they supported it all.” He pulled his hands away and sat up straighter. “I’m still not fully on board with your forgiveness plan. I’d rather some of them were locked up.”

“The war is over, Zuko.” The Avatar sat like he was meditating, in full Air Nomad regalia, looking up at the new Fire Lord with a sad expression. “Enough people are in prison already. As long as they fight for what’s right from now on, I think that should be enough.”

“Sounds like another exciting meeting.”

The boys looked up to see Mai and Iroh coming towards them. The mere sight of them lifted Zuko’s spirits. Mai sat on the arm of the throne and kissed Zuko’s cheek, while Iroh sat beside Aang.

“Just the usual,” Aang replied with a smile. “Trying to get the rest of the Fire Nation to be as good as you guys.”

Iroh belly-laughed. (Although, really, there wasn’t another kind of laugh for Iroh.) “You’re going to be waiting a long time, young Avatar.”

“I thought you were in Ba Sing Se,” Zuko said, his arm around Mai’s waist. “Fixing up the Jasmine Dragon.”

“Oh, there’s plenty of time for that, nephew,” Iroh said. “Besides, the city itself hasn’t been rebuilt yet. It’s hard to serve tea when no one has a home.”

“That’s what we were talking about in today’s meeting. Zuko told them that the soldiers should clean up all the places they’ve conquered.”

Zuko couldn’t look at Iroh, because he knew the expression on his uncle’s face would be too much to bear. It was still very strange to have someone be so proud of him after all he’d done. There were times when the two of them were alone together that Zuko was overcome by emotion, like he’d been in the tent after reuniting. That wasn’t something he wanted to happen in front of Aang and Mai.

“That’s very noble of you,” Mai said, stroking Zuko’s hair. “I’d like to watch those cocky jerks with a broom. It’ll probably be the first time they’ve done manual labor in their lives.”

“The point isn’t vengeance,” Zuko said. “It’s about earning the world’s trust again. Redeeming ourselves and our nation.”

“There’s no one better to lead that fight than you, Zuko,” Iroh said with pride.

“He’s right about that,” Aang agreed, reaching out to elbow Zuko in the shin. “You’re pretty good at redeeming people. Maybe you should take the whole world on a life-changing field trip.”

“Ha ha. Very funny.” He smiled. “Toph would never forgive me if I went on a field trip with anyone else before her.”

“Well, I’m hungry,” Aang said, getting to his feet. “I’m going to get some dinner, and then go to bed. Appa and I have a long journey tomorrow.”

“Oh, right!” Zuko had completely forgotten that Aang was travelling to the Southern Water Tribe to visit Katara and Sokka. He’d been so worried about the Not-War meetings that he hadn’t noticed what day it was. “It’s going to be a lot quieter without you around.”

“You’re still welcome to come with. I mean, you’ll have to start up diplomatic relations again, right? There’s no better way to do that than to go down there and talk with them.”

“The last time I was there, I nearly destroyed the village. They won’t be happy to see me.”

Aang shrugged and waved as he left the room. Zuko watched him go, and sighed. The rest of the gang had gone back to their homes after his coronation: Sokka and Katara to the South Pole, Suki to Kyoshi Island, even Toph went back to her parents. Aang was the only one who had stayed behind, because there wasn’t anywhere else for him to go. Zuko was dreading the day that Aang moved to the South Pole for good.

“Why don’t you just go with him?” Mai asked. Her hand moved to stroke the back of his neck, which sent a shiver down his spine.

Zuko looked up at her. “The Southern Water Tribe...I don’t know if they’re ready to forgive or welcome me yet. I know Sokka, Katara, and Hakoda will be happy, but...I don’t want to have another bad experience there.”

“They’re never going to forgive you if you never try.”

“She’s right,” Iroh agreed. “Besides, you know Sokka can’t keep his mouth shut. He’ll be telling them all tales of your bravery and goodness.”

Zuko chuckled. “Yeah. But…”

“Oh, just go,” Mai said, smirking. “You know you’ll regret it if you don’t. You need to get out of the palace for a while. Clear your head.”

He thought about it, then smiled. “I guess you’re right. Will you come too?”

“Oh, absolutely not. It’s way too cold for my liking.” She kissed him on the cheek. “But I know you’ll have fun.”

~~~

The next morning, Zuko found Aang as he was loading Appa’s saddle. Momo chattered excitedly as he approached, which made Aang look up and smile.

“Here to see me off?”

“Actually, I’m coming with you,” Zuko said, holding up his sleeping bag and rucksacks. “Mai convinced me. It’ll be nice to get out of the palace for a while, and see Sokka and Katara again.”

Aang smiled wide. “Good. It’s boring flying by myself.” Appa growled. “No offense, buddy. But you can’t talk. Is Mai coming with us?”

Zuko shook his head. “She doesn’t like the cold as much. She’s going to act as Fire Lord while I’m gone. I don’t really trust anyone else to do the job.”

“What about your uncle?”

Climbing onto Appa’s saddle, Zuko shook his head again. “He doesn’t want to do it. Says something about just wanting to retire and make tea. I think he deserves that kind of rest.”

They tied their belongings to Appa’s saddle: two sleeping bags, two bags of Zuko’s things, one bag of Aang’s, and three containers of food.

“That’s a lot of food,” Zuko said as Appa took off. “It’s only going to take a couple days, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but I like to have extra,” Aang said. “There were a lot of times when we traveled before that we didn’t have enough food. Plus, if we have too much, we can give it away to someone who needs it more.”

“I forget how... _good_ you are.” Zuko leaned back in the saddle, arms behind his head. “I feel like that’s harder and harder to find anymore. At least, where I’m from.”

“It wasn’t always like that, you know,” Aang said, leaving the reins to join Zuko in the saddle. “I was born after Sozin started making the colonies, but I still remember a time when the nations were more balanced. When you could travel wherever you wanted and see friends everywhere. Of course, there were still Air Nomads back then. And more sky bisons.”

Appa growled beneath them, and Momo curled up on the top of the bison’s head.

“I know, buddy,” Aang said sadly. “I miss them too.”

“I wish I could’ve seen it.” Zuko watched the clouds passing as they flew. He didn’t like to look down at the ground when on Appa too much. “I wish I could’ve seen a lot of things that my family destroyed.”

“At least we got to see the dragons.”

The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes. The Fire Nation spread out beneath them. From up here, it was hard to see the turmoil of the country and the people below them. Zuko knew that the Fire Nation citizens were experiencing an upheaval they could never have imagined. He never expected the war to end this way, either.

“You should get some rest, Zuko,” Aang said, moving back to take Appa’s reins. “I’ll wake you up when it’s your turn to steer.”

“Where are we stopping for tonight?”

“It’s a surprise. Appa knows where we’re going.”

“Then why does someone need to steer at all?”

“Go to sleep, Zuko.”

“I only woke up an hour ago. I’ll just work on government stuff.” He grabbed one of his bags and pulled some papers out. There was so much work to do with rebuilding the government, and the nation, and the whole world. Knowing how much time there would be just flying on Appa, Zuko had brought along recommendations from his advisers. It was going to be a long flight.

Aang let Zuko read in peace, only interrupting him when it was time to eat. Momo kept lunging at their food, making them both laugh. When Aang grabbed the glider to feed Appa as well, Zuko climbed up to the front to take the reins. They were well over the sea by this point, and Zuko didn’t feel as uneasy looking down.

For the two hours Zuko steered Appa, Aang talked almost nonstop about the Air Nomads and the Air Temples and the sky bisons. Zuko loved hearing it, but it made him so, so sad; the whole culture was gone. But at least there was Aang to remember it, and keep it alive. Maybe he could write it all down so the rest of the world can remember.

When Zuko started to yawn, Aang took the reins from him and told him to go back to his reading. Zuko climbed back into the saddle and grabbed some papers, settling in to read them.

~~~

“Zuko! Hey, Zuko, wake up!”

Zuko shot to his feet, his papers falling all over the saddle. His arms flew up in a defensive position. “What is it? What’s happening?”

Aang laughed. “Nothing. You fell asleep.”

Zuko rubbed at his eyes, looking to the sky. The sun was in a very different position than it had been earlier. “How long was I asleep?”

“I don’t know.” Aang helped gather the papers and put them back in the bag. “We’re almost to our first stop.”

“We are? Why didn’t you wake me sooner?”

Aang smiled. “I figured you needed your rest before we got to the Earth Kingdom.”

“The Earth--but I thought we were going to the South Pole.”

“Yeah, but we’re making a few extra stops. Remember, there’s a surprise coming.” He pointed at the reins. “It’s your turn to steer.”

Their stomachs both grumbled. “Actually, I think I’ll eat first. Since Appa knows the way.” He dug through the food bags and grabbed two servings, handing one to Aang. Momo, who had been sleeping towards the front of the saddle, perked up and leaped into Zuko’s arms. He grabbed one of the pastries and ate it in one bite. “Hey, that’s my food!”

“Momo doesn’t care about whose food is whose.” Aang sat and started to eat his food. Zuko sat beside him, leaning against the edge of the saddle. “How was your nap?”

Zuko chuckled. “I didn’t even notice I was sleeping. I don’t remember where I left off in the documents, either.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine. There’s plenty of people to talk to back at the palace. And where we’re going, too. Not just the South Pole.”

“So you’re really not going to tell me?” Zuko nudged Aang playfully. “That doesn’t seem fair.”

“Just visiting some old friends. That’s all I’ll say about it.”

They continued to eat in silence until both meals were finished, and Zuko climbed over the edge of the saddle and took the reins. “Wow, you weren’t kidding,” he said. “I can see land already.”

Zuko couldn’t tell where they were going based on the shoreline alone. Unlike the rest of the gang, he wasn’t used to arriving in new places by air. All he could tell was that it was the Earth Kingdom, and that it was still struggling to rebuild. The land was black, scorched, destroyed. He could tell even from this far away that it was going to take a very, very long time to heal.

“It’s...horrible.”

Aang peeked over Zuko’s shoulder, and gasped slightly. “I promise, this isn’t the surprise I was planning.”

They watched as the land got closer. It had only been a few weeks since the comet, and smoke was still rising from the burnt remnants of forests and grasslands. Zuko had heard from Aang and Sokka how devastated the initial landing site of his father’s comet raid was, but this was the first time he would be seeing anything like it up close. It was horrifying.

“Are you okay?” Aang put a hand on Zuko’s shoulder.

Zuko realized there were tears falling down his cheeks. He rubbed his eyes. “Yeah. No. It’s awful. I can’t believe he did this.”

“That’s what you’re here for. To fix it.”

“I can’t undo that, Aang. I can’t un-burn the Earth Kingdom.”

“You don’t have to.” Aang climbed over the edge of the saddle and sat beside Zuko. “That’s not what I meant. I can’t undo the war, either. The best we can do is make the world better from now on. And that’s what we’re doing.”

Zuko looked out over the horizon, surveying the damage done. “Wait,” he said, squinting to his left. “Is that...is that Omashu?”

Aang looked up, surprised. “Appa, I thought you knew where we were going!” He took the reins from Zuko’s hands and yanked them right. “We need to be further south than this.”

Appa growled, but moved anyway.

“What’s south of Omashu?” Zuko asked. “Kyoshi Island? Are we going to see Suki?”

“Not immediately.” He grinned. “I wanted to meet up with someone else first.”

~~~

The city where they finally landed seemed relatively untouched by the Fire Nation. There were no burned fields or forests nearby, or signs of a fight during the comet. Zuko wasn’t even sure if it had ever fallen to the Fire Nation in the first place. He didn’t know there were any towns this size that hadn’t been occupied. It was a pleasant surprise.

“Where are we?” he asked as they dismounted from Appa outside the city walls.

“You’ll see.”

The two of them gathered their bags and started to walk through the city.

“Why aren’t we going on Appa?”

“The city isn’t that big,” Aang replied. “Besides, he deserves a break. He needs to sleep tonight, too. Tomorrow we’re going to Kyoshi Island.”

“That isn’t very far, though. Not like today’s journey.”

It was late evening, and the streets were not nearly as busy as they would have been during the day. Zuko was grateful for this; he didn’t want to be recognized too much on this trip. Aang, on the other hand, was not hiding who he was at all. There was no attempt to cover his tattoos, or his glider, or his Air Nomad outfit. People watched them, but no one approached.

“The last time I was here,” Aang said, “it was a very different time. I was looking for an earthbending teacher, and thought I could find one in this academy place. But I knew it wasn’t going to work out. So, instead, we heard about this competition, Earth Rumble Six. All the best earthbenders in the world were going to be there.”

“I think I see where this is going,” Zuko said, a smile forming on his lips before he was even aware of it.

“Did you know Toph used to be an underground earthbending fighter?” Aang grinned. “She was the best. The Blind Bandit. This is where she’s from. And that--” He pointed ahead of them to a large estate. “--is where she lives.”

Aang knocked on the gate, and a servant opened it slowly. “Yes?” he said hesitatingly. “Can I help you?”

“We’re here to see Toph.”

“Oh, I’m afraid she isn’t taking visitors--”

“TWINKLE TOES!”

The sudden shout from the house made all three of them jump; the front door flew open, and Toph came running towards them. The servant fell back just in time as the small earthbender pushed the gate open and leaped at Aang. The two of them fell backwards, rolling on the ground and laughing.

“It’s good to see you, too, Toph,” Aang said. They got up, dusted themselves off, and hugged tightly. “And I brought a friend.”

“Um, hi,” Zuko said. He raised his hand up to wave, remembered that she was blind, and lowered it slowly.

“Don’t act like you can get out of a hug by pretending to be awkward,” Toph said, wrapping her arms around his chest. It was as high as she could reach. He hugged her back warmly. “This is really a surprise, I have to say. I wasn’t expecting to not see you guys again so soon. Couldn’t stay away, eh, hotman?”

Zuko glared at Aang, who almost fell over laughing. “Don’t call me that. We’re on our way to the South Pole to see Katara and Sokka.”

“Come on, I was just about to have dinner with my parents.” Toph motioned to follow her through the gate.

“The last time I had dinner with your parents, it didn’t go well,” Aang said. “It ended with your father sending your earthbending teacher and an underground earthbending master after us.”

“Yeah, but the past is the past. I think you should be more worried about how they’re gonna react to Sifu Hotman over here.” Toph elbowed Zuko hard as they crossed over the threshold. “I don’t know how they’ll feel about the Fire Lord being here.”

“I can...wait outside. Hang out with Appa and Momo.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” She opened the door to the dining room, where her parents sat at either end of the table, looking shocked. Zuko lowered his face and turned slightly away, hoping they wouldn’t recognize his scar. “Mom, Dad, I’m sure you remember the Avatar.”

“Yes, we do,” Toph’s father grumbled. Aang waved sheepishly.

“And this,” Toph said, motioning to Zuko, “is the Fire Lord, Zuko. Both good friends of mine. They’re joining us for dinner.”

The three of them sat around the table in silence. Zuko couldn’t look at either of Toph’s parents, but he felt their gaze on him. Perhaps this was a bad idea. It would be one thing to go to Kyoshi Island, where Suki could vouch for him. This was unbearable.

“So, Aang,” Toph’s father said, “I wanted to...apologize for how things turned out last time.”

“Really?” Aang said, pausing with a bite of food almost in his mouth.

“Yes. Since Toph returned home, we’ve had a lot of...discussions.” Toph snorted, which led Zuko to believe the discussions were more like one-sided arguments. “About her abilities and how we have...how we have treated her in the past.”

“Toph has been very insistent that we understand,” Toph’s mother said, “how our actions have hurt her. How we have limited her. And though it is hard...we are coming to understand that she is anything but helpless.”

Zuko chuckled. “That’s for sure.”

“I appreciate the apology, sir,” Aang said, bowing his head. “And I’m sorry for the way it ended, too. But things worked out, in the end.”

“You, however,” Toph’s father said, pointing at Zuko, “you are not someone I would normally allow in my house.”

Zuko bowed his head. “I know. There are a lot of things that I need to atone for, both myself and my nation. But I hope to prove myself. To everyone.”

“What are your plans for rebuilding the Earth Kingdom?”

“Dad, does this have to turn into a talk about politics?” Toph whined. “All of our meals turn into talks about politics. We should talk about something more fun.”

“If he’s going to eat at my table, unannounced and uninvited, I think he should answer some questions first.” Toph’s father turned back to Zuko. “Well?”

“I’m still discussing things with my generals and advisers. And Aang, of course. But the plan I’d like to implement is for our troops to help the cleanup and rebuilding. It solves two problems, because I can’t just fire a ton of soldiers and expect to remain Fire Lord.”

“Have you got anyone from the Earth Kingdom on your council?”

“I...don’t really have a council. Just Aang.” Zuko sighed. “And I don’t know of anyone who would want to be on the council. I mean, the Earth King left. King Bumi is...a bit of a strange guy. I don’t know of anyone who would be willing to advocate for the Earth Kingdom’s interests, other than Aang.”

“You should have a council. All leaders should.” Toph’s father pushed his plate away and stood up. “And I think Toph should be your Earth Kingdom liaison.”

Silence. Then, the screeching of a chair across the floor, and the sound of Toph tackling her father with a hug.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Toph said excitedly.

Toph’s father chuckled and hugged her back. “You’re very welcome, my dear. I know you’re restless here, and without that...Earth Rumble thing...I want you to do something you like. Something you love.”

“Bossing around Zuko sure is something I love,” Toph said, grinning at the Fire Lord. “I still haven’t gotten back at you for burning my feet.”

Zuko laughed. “Yeah, there’ll be plenty of time for that. Don’t worry. Are you sure, sir? I mean, I don’t know how my advisers will deal with...a child adviser.”

“Well, with all do respect, Fire Lord Zuko,” Toph’s mother said, “they’re already dealing with a child Fire Lord.”

“I’m not a child!” Zuko protested. His voice cracked. He flushed, cleared his throat, and tried again, despite Toph’s giggling. “I’m not a child. I’m seventeen. And after everything I’ve been through in the last year, they better listen to me.”

“Toph has been through enough, too. She told us all about the day of the comet.”

“She’s right,” Aang said. “All of us have gone through more than those generals have in their entire lives, just in this past year. We’ve all got enough experience in this stuff.”

Zuko looked around the table. Toph’s parents must have thought about this a lot, and he did like the idea of having Toph around the palace as well. It was lonely, since nearly everyone in the palace was a holdover from his father’s time as Fire Lord. Only Aang was a new addition.

“I would love to have you as an adviser, Toph,” Zuko said. “If it’s what you want.”

“I’d love to, Sifu Hotman.”

~~~

Zuko couldn’t sleep that night. His nap on Appa earlier had something to do with it, but it was more than that. As he lay in the guest room, listening to Aang’s steady breathing from the other side of the room, he couldn’t help but think about Toph joining the council.

He would love to have her, obviously. He’d love to have the whole gang back. But Sokka and Katara were needed in the Southern Water Tribe, and Suki was needed on Kyoshi Island, and Toph should be needed here. He shouldn’t be selfish and force them all to leave their homes again, just to keep him company.

He wasn’t forcing Toph, he reminded himself. Toph wanted to come. But the others…

Zuko thought about what a council might look like. Right now, he had the generals and admirals, but that would only work while they were still dealing with troops. Once the army and navy had all been reintegrated into regular life, he had to have other people to advise him. He couldn’t do it all alone. But he couldn’t think of anyone else besides the gang who would want to help him. Especially not from the Earth Kingdom.

He turned over, pressing his face into the pillow. Being Fire Lord was a lot more work than he was expecting, and he had been expecting a lot of work. He still had to read all those recommendations he’d brought with him, and he had to come up with solutions to the thousand problems ending a war created.

Despite what he’d said at dinner, he was just a kid. They all were.

~~~

Since they weren’t going very far, Zuko, Toph, and Aang were able to take their time with breakfast the next day. It had only been a couple weeks, but Zuko realized how much he missed spending time with these kids. Waking up to some kind of earthbending, watching Toph get her ridiculous hair under control, Aang checking any mirror he could find to see if he needed to shave his head yet. It wasn’t complete without Sokka’s banter or Katara’s scolding, but it was something.

It was enough.

“So where are we going today?” Toph asked. The three of them were gathered in her room, watching her pack her things. They knew better than to offer help.

“Kyoshi Island,” Aang replied. “Since our ultimate goal is the Southern Water Tribe, I figured I’d offer to let Suki come with us, for Sokka’s sake.”

“That leaves you and me, Hotman,” Toph said. “Maybe you can finally take me on that field trip you owe me.”

“Ha ha. We’ll see how it goes. I don’t know how long we’re going to be there. I have to get back to the palace eventually. I have responsibilities now.” He eyed the growing pile of bags. “You’re not going to try and fit all that on Appa, are you?”

“No, of course not. I’m having these sent to the palace. I’ll only bring a small bag.”

“So, you’re planning on moving to the Fire Nation for good?”

“I dunno yet. It’s early days. But there’s a lot of work to do there, right? A lot of Fire Nation people who need to be convinced that they should help the Earth Kingdom.”

“I don’t know if I’m going to like your idea of ‘convincing’ them,” Aang said.

“You definitely won’t, Twinkle Toes.” Toph grinned widely. “Well, are we going or not? I’m ready.” She grabbed her single bag and headed out of the house.

Zuko and Aang hurried after her, gathering their belongings. In the courtyard, they saw Toph saying goodbye to her parents, and kept a bit of distance so they didn’t infringe on the family moment.

“It’s almost like you’re getting the gang back together,” Aang said, nudging Zuko.

“Almost.” While he would love nothing more than to get everyone back together, he was aware that everyone had their own responsibilities now, and he couldn’t ever ask them to give it up. It was different with Aang, who didn’t really have a home to return to. He could go to the Southern Water Tribe to be with Katara, but he had admitted to Zuko that he knew he was needed more in the Fire Nation, at least for now.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Zuko sighed. “It’s just...when I agreed to come on this trip, I didn’t realize it would be a full nostalgia tour. I thought it would be a diplomatic thing with the Southern Tribe on my part.”

“Are you upset that we stopped for Toph?”

“No, of course not. I’m just trying not to get my hopes up about people coming to stay with us.” He looked down at Aang, whose face was still that of a child, despite everything. “I’m not even sure how long you’ll stay.”

“As long as you need me there, Zuko. Our destinies are so tied up together that I don’t think I could leave until you’re ready even if I tried.”

Toph came towards them, her eyes slightly red but a smile on her face nonetheless. “Well, let’s get going, slowpokes.” She led them out of the city towards Appa.

~~~

It was a quick trip to Kyoshi Island, especially compared to the trip from the Fire Nation the day before. They had barely finished lunch when Aang pointed over Appa’s saddle.

“There it is! Kyoshi Island.” Aang looked proud of the place, and Zuko couldn’t necessarily blame him. He had heard the story of the founding of Kyoshi Island. Sokka told him all about Aang’s trial, and Kyoshi’s appearance through him.

Zuko had done a lot of reading on the Avatar after searching all four Air Temples, but hearing about Kyoshi’s history from Kyoshi herself must have been exciting. He’d always had a soft spot for Avatar Kyoshi; she was fierce and formidable, and had lived a very long time. Reading about Avatar Roku always felt a bit like reading the story of the most boring man on the planet; Avatar Kuruk died too young to have as interesting a life as Kyoshi.

Appa landed near the statue of Kyoshi, where the governor was waiting for them.

“Good afternoon, Avatar Aang!” Oyaji said, waving. “What a pleasant surprise.”

“Hello, Governor,” Aang said, leaping down from Appa and bowing. “I’ve brought my friend, Toph, and Fire Lord Zuko.”

Oyaji’s smile faltered as Zuko climbed down from Appa’s saddle. He reached up to help Toph down, then bowed at the governor. “It’s an honor to officially meet you,” he said. “And I’m...I’m sorry about the last time I was here.”

The island seems to have recovered from the fire. They hadn’t been touched by the Fire Nation’s air fleet, and the return of the Kyoshi Warriors seemed to help the island’s morale as well. People were starting to come out of their homes and workplaces, many of them excited to see Aang.

“We appreciate your apology,” Oyaji said, bowing in return. “The end of this war is the greatest good anyone has done for the world in a century. Kyoshi Island welcomes the new Fire Lord.”

“Fire Lord? I don’t know about that.”

Zuko turned to see Suki walking towards them, in full Kyoshi Warrior makeup, a smirk on her face. He grinned back at her, and allowed her to hug him. Zuko loved them all, but just like with Sokka, it was nice to spend time with someone closer to his own age.

“It’s good to see you,” he said.

“You too. And you, Aang,” Suki said, moving to hug the Avatar, “and Toph, too, of course.”

“No hugs for me, thanks,” Toph said, holding up a hand, but she was smiling anyway. “It’s good to not see you.”

“What are you guys doing here? I thought you’d be hard at work in the Fire Nation.”

“We’re going to see Sokka and Katara,” Aang said. “And we decided to give you the option of coming with us.”

“Come with you? For how long?”

“Not very long,” Zuko said before Aang could reply. “I do have to get back to the palace to deal with the rest of ending the war. There’s a lot of work still to be done.”

“You’re welcome to stay on Kyoshi Island as long as you need,” Oyaji said.

“I think we should stay for dinner before we get to our resting place for the night,” Aang said. “I’ve got another surprise for you, Zuko.”

~~~

Aang and Toph went with Oyaji to learn more about Avatar Kyoshi, so Zuko went with Suki to the training gym of the Warriors. Zuko sat to the side, reading some of the papers he’d brought with him. It was hard to read on Appa now that Toph was with them. Even though the gym was pretty loud, it wasn’t the same. Plus, he sat with his good ear towards the wall. He couldn’t hear out of his left ear.

“You just going to sulk over here?”

Zuko jumped, dropping the papers. He looked up to see Suki, arms crossed, grinning.

“Did you want me to join in?” he asked.

“Not really.” She sat down beside him. “I don’t think you’d do very well at this. You’re a good fighter, though.”

“Gee, thanks for the ego boost there.” He laughed. “Shouldn’t you be training them? You’re the leader, right?”

“I am, but they can train on their own. You look like you need company.”

“What makes you say that? I’ve been spending two days with Aang.”

“Yes, I do love spending time with pre-teen prodigies. Definitely beats hanging out with people my own age.” She elbowed him. “Plus, you’re reading diplomatic papers. That’s boring. You should do something fun for once.”

“I know how to have fun!”

“Sure you do. That’s what you’re known for. Zuko, Fire Lord of Fun.”

“Oh, shush.” He laughed, cheeks flushing slightly. Ever since the Boiling Rock escape, Zuko had been both intimidated by and in awe of Suki. How someone like Sokka managed to woo a girl as incredible as her was a mystery.

Then again, Sokka was pretty amazing himself. He was the mastermind behind the only invasion of the Fire Nation since before Sozin’s time.

“So you want me to come with you to the Southern Water Tribe?” she asked.

“Aang thought you might want to see Sokka. And that Sokka might want to see you. I wasn’t originally going to be coming on this trip, but I changed my mind last minute. I’m just along for the ride.”

“And what about after the trip?”

Zuko shrugged. “We go back to the Fire Nation. I can’t be away too long.” He motioned to the papers. “I have to run a country.”

Suki nodded, leaning against the wall. He could see a hint of a mischievous expression on her face under the makeup. “And what about in the palace? I know all your soldiers are still out in the Earth Kingdom, and the Dai Li are obviously not to be trusted. How can you trust that you and your new government will be safe?”

“Safe? That’s...I don’t know. I’m a master firebender and I have the Avatar on my side. What would I need to be safe from?”

“I want to offer my assistance.”

“What?” He stared at her.

Suki smiled. “Kyoshi Warriors as your personal guards. Think about it. You trust us. You know me and Ty Lee already. And think about how it will look as a gesture to the Earth Kingdom.”

Zuko ran a hand down his face. This wasn’t what he’d been expecting at all during this trip. He hadn’t even realized he had expectations. As much as he wanted to be around them all again, they were needed in their homes. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

“ _I’m_ asking _you_ , Zuko.”

“You don’t have to move to the Fire Nation just for me. It’s too big of a change, you should be living here where you belong. This is your home, they need you more than I do.”

“I’m not moving for you, Zuko. I’m moving for myself. Me and the Warriors, we talked about it and we’d love to do it.”

“What about training the next generation of Kyoshi Warriors?”

“There’s already a great teacher.” She motioned towards one of the Warriors, who was helping a few of the others get their stances right.

He stood up, shaking his head. “Suki, I appreciate it, I really do. But enough people have already uprooted their entire lives to help me. I can’t ask anyone else to do it.”

Suki stood up as well. “Ty Lee was right about how stubborn you are.”

“I’m not stubborn, I’m--”

“That’s exactly what someone who’s stubborn would say.”

Zuko narrowed his eyes. “You’ve got me in a bit of a bind, here. I can’t argue with you without being stubborn.”

Suki grinned widely. “Well? What do you say?”

Zuko sighed and rubbed his face. “All of you want this? It’s not just the rest of them following your lead?”

“Kyoshi Warriors don’t just follow orders blindly. We discussed it together, and we reached a decision together.”

He watched the Kyoshi Warriors as they trained. They were powerful, intimidating, and very skilled. Suki was right; he didn’t have any guards. The Dai Li were probably still on his sister’s side, despite her banishing them. The army wouldn’t be happy about everything changing so much. What if something happened, and there was an attack on the palace? He couldn’t fight off the entire Fire Nation army himself, not even with Aang at his side. Plus, it would be an enormous gesture of unity between the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom.

“Okay.” He turned to her and smiled. “Yeah. If that’s what you all want, I would be happy to have you there.”

“That’s so exciting!”

Zuko barely looked up in time to see a flash of pink, before Ty Lee had thrown her arms around his neck in a tight hug. He almost fell backwards into the wall.

“I can’t wait to go back to the palace and see Mai again!” she said, pulling back.

“I’m sure she’ll be very happy to see you too,” Zuko replied. “In her own way.”

“Should I go pack now? I’ve got so much to bring back home!”

Suki smiled. “You can if you want. The rest of the Kyoshi Warriors will meet us there. I’m going with Zuko, Aang, and Toph to see Sokka and Katara.”

“Oh, that sounds exciting! I’ve never been to the South Pole!”

“Hold on,” Zuko said. “Appa can’t hold many more people. We can’t fit all the Kyoshi Warriors.”

“Zuko, she’s just one person--”

Ty Lee put a hand on Suki’s shoulder. “No, Zuko’s right,” she said. “I don’t even like cold weather. I’ll go with the rest of the Kyoshi Warriors.”

“Not that I don’t want you to come, Ty Lee,” he clarified, “it’s just…”

“Zuko, I totally understand. I’m not upset at all.” She smiled in a comforting way, and he felt at ease. “Besides, I can’t wait to see Mai. It’ll be so great to go home.”

Aang and Toph came through the door, each holding a large pastry. They were laughing and leaning into each other as they ate the pastries, walking along the edge of the room to avoid ruining the training. Zuko smiled as they approached. After everything, it was nice to see Aang smiling again.

“What are we chatting about over here?” Toph asked as they reached Zuko, Suki, and Ty Lee.

“Just catching up,” Suki said. “Discussing how we’re going to move the Kyoshi Warriors to the Palace City.”

Aang’s face lit up. “You’re moving to the city with us? That’s so awesome! All of you?”

“Yep!” Ty Lee replied. “It’ll be so much fun!”

“Are you coming with us to the South Pole?”

“Oh, no, I’m just going straight home.” Ty Lee smiled. “I don’t want to impose on you all. Besides, Zuko told me there isn’t room on your fluffy friend.”

“Suki, you’re still coming, right?” Aang asked.

“Of course. Sokka’s in the South Pole.” Her face lit up at the mention of him. “Plus, I miss Appa. He’s such a sweet guy.”

As it got closer to dinner time, the town started to come more alive. It seemed as though they would be sharing their dinner with everyone. Zuko saw people gathering tables, chairs, and place settings under a large canopy in the town square. He wasn’t sure how much he would like having dinner with the entire town, especially considering what happened last time he was here. He wasn’t sure people would accept him. Suki was one thing; he broke her out of prison. But the rest of them…

Zuko sat against the statue of Kyoshi, watching the town as they set up the large feast. No one was paying any attention to him, which was how he liked it. Some of the houses still had scorch marks from the time he set the town on fire.

Was this how the rest of his life would go? Touring the world for diplomatic purposes, filled with shame and regret for the way he acted in the past? Would the world forgive him? Could he forgive himself?

“What are you thinking about?” Ty Lee plopped down on the grass in front of Zuko.

“Nothing.”

“Well, that’s not true,” she said, tilting her head. “You’ve got that look on your face. Your thinking look.”

“I have a thinking look?”

“Everyone does. Yours is particularly brooding, though.” A smile. “You don’t seem to be very happy.”

“I’m happy.” He forced a large smile. “See?”

Ty Lee moved to sit beside him, shoulder to shoulder. “You know,” she said, her voice a lot quieter than normal, “back in the Fire Nation, before you turned against your dad, it was almost like before.”

“Before?” He raised his hand to his scar absently. “Before I was banished?”

“Yeah. The four of us back together. You, Azula, me, and Mai. Hanging out in the palace, getting into trouble. You and Mai being adorable and gloomy together.” She giggled. Zuko sighed. “Oh, don’t be like that. You’re gloomy, admit it. Especially after your mom died.”

“She’s not dead.”

Zuko wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen Ty Lee speechless before. She stared at him with her mouth open. “She’s not? But I thought…”

“I know. We all thought. But on the solar eclipse, my dad...he said that she was banished, the night my grandfather died. So...I mean, I don’t know for certain that she’s alive. But I know that she didn’t die that night.”

Ty Lee grabbed his hand. He flinched, but didn’t pull his hand away.

“Are you okay, Zuko?” Her voice was gentle.

“I don’t know.” He looked out at the village. Aang was entertaining some children with airbending tricks. Toph was showing a couple earthbenders her metalbending. “I’ve thought my mother was dead for so long. After my coronation, I tried to get my dad to tell me where she is, but he isn’t saying anything.”

“That must be so hard. I can’t imagine...have you talked to Mai about this?”

“No. I haven’t told anyone else.” Zuko wasn’t sure why he hadn’t even told Mai. She would understand, and she would help him find his mother. So would Aang, and Sokka, and Katara.

“You’re worried she’s actually dead, aren’t you? You’re worried that you’re getting your hopes up for nothing.”

Zuko rubbed his eyes. It was something he hadn’t really let himself consider, but she was right. “Yeah. My father is an evil man, and I wouldn’t put it past him to lie.”

Ty Lee nodded, squeezing Zuko’s hand. “Well, if you need help, or anything else, just ask me. I’m here for you.”

He still couldn’t fully wrap his head around Ty Lee, the one person he always assumed was Azula’s puppet, being on his side. Not only on his side, but actively his friend. When they were younger, he didn’t have much choice, because he didn’t have friends of his own, and Ty Lee and Mai were always at the palace. But now, it was a choice. She knew him in a way that Aang and the rest of them didn’t.

“Are you two going to join the dinner?” Suki came over to them, motioning at the feast. The food was set out, and Zuko’s stomach grumbled at the sight of it.

“For sure.” He got to his feet, brushing himself off. “I’m starving. And I don’t even know where we’re staying tonight. Aang won’t tell me.”

Suki laughed. “He told me.”

“What? That’s not fair!”

“Life isn’t fair, Zuzu.” She seemed extremely proud of herself, especially when Zuko narrowed his eyes at her. “Come on, let’s eat.”

~~~

After dinner and a lengthy goodbye with the entire village, Aang, Zuko, Suki, and Toph climbed aboard Appa and took off. It was getting dark; Zuko wasn’t sure where they were going this late at night. He yawned.

“You can nap, if you want,” Aang said. He was almost vibrating with excitement. “We’ll be there pretty quick, I think. Definitely before sunrise.”

“Sunrise? I thought you said this would be quick.”

“It will be.”

Zuko sighed and leaned back, folding his arms over his chest. “Are we going to at least end up at the South Pole tomorrow? I want to get this over with and get back to the palace.”

“Get your mind off the palace, Zuko,” Suki said. “That’s why you came, right? To get out of there for a while? So relax and enjoy the journey.”

“I’ve never been terribly good at that.”

“Which, relaxing, or enjoying things?” Toph laughed. “I mean, I agree with you on both counts.”

Aang laughed from Appa’s head. “She’s got you there, Zuko.”

Suki patted Zuko’s shoulder sympathetically. “I think you know how to have fun, Zuko.”

“Thank you.” He grinned at her thankfully.

“Yeah, I mean, on the way back from the Boiling Rock, you laughed at almost all of Sokka’s bad jokes.”

Zuko put his head in his hands as all of them laughed. He had almost forgotten that he was the butt of their jokes. Especially Toph and Sokka.

“Lighten up, Zuzu.” Toph elbowed him. “Once we get to see Sokka, the jokes will only get worse.”

“Speaking of Sokka,” Aang said, turning around, “are you going to ask him and Katara to move to the Fire Nation too?”

“No, of course not,” Zuko said, a little too loudly. Everyone stared at him. “I mean, it’s not...that I don’t want them around. I do. Obviously. But...it’s...it’s bad enough--”

“Bad enough that what?” Toph said accusingly. “You don’t want me around, either?”

“No, no! That’s not what I mean! Of course I want you there. I want all of you. But this isn’t...this isn’t like when we were running around to avoid the Fire Nation. Things are all different now. We all have responsibilities that go beyond each other.”

“Zuko, everyone who’s here right now wants to go,” Suki said. “Everyone wants to help you, and be in the Fire Nation with you. We’re not being forced or anything.”

Zuko sighed. “I’m not saying you’re being forced, I’m just...I’m...I don’t want you guys to think you have to do this.”

“We don’t think we have to do this,” Aang said.

“It’s different for you, you don’t have anywhere else--” He clamped his mouth shut, his face flushing hot. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean--”

Aang climbed over into the saddle and sat in front of Zuko. “What’s going on with you? You were fine when we left the Fire Nation. What’s changed?”

Zuko looked around at the three of them. Suki and Aang were looking at him with concerned expressions on their faces. He wished they weren’t flying above the sea, so he could jump off Appa and hide until they forgot about it. Until they had moved on to something else and weren’t bothering with him anymore.

“I don’t want you guys uprooting your lives for me,” he said carefully. “It’s...it’s not fair to ask that of you, and it’s not something that I want. I mean, I want it, but it’s a selfish thing to want. Toph, you’re needed in the Earth Kingdom. Suki, Kyoshi Island needs you. And the Southern Water Tribe needs Sokka and Katara.”

“You need us too,” Toph said. “And as an old friend of mine once said, there’s nothing wrong with letting the people who love you help you.”

“You can’t rebuild the entire Fire Nation, deal with the politics of ending a war, and be Fire Lord without some help,” Aang said. “That’s what friends are for.”

He sighed and rubbed at his face. He didn’t want a big deal made of this. He didn’t want them all to feel sorry for him or anything like that. He just wanted things to go back to normal.

Things had never been normal, though.

“Fine,” he said. “You guys are right. I know you are. Can we just get to wherever we’re staying and go to bed, please?”

Aang smiled. “Yeah, we can. I bet you can figure out where we’re going, if you tried hard enough.” He jumped back to the reins.

“Somewhere between Kyoshi Island and the Southern Water Tribe?”

“Well, it’s not exactly in between. It’s a bit off course.”

Zuko thought about all the maps he’d seen in his search for the Avatar. There wasn’t much else in the south, except--

“The Southern Air Temple?”

“Yep! Where I was born and raised!”

“I’ve only ever been to the Western Air Temple,” Suki said. “This is going to be so exciting!”

“I’ve been to the Southern Air Temple before,” Zuko said. “Once. A long time ago.”

It had been his second Air Temple, after he searched the Western one and didn’t find the Avatar. He had still had the bandages around his eye. He didn’t remember everything about it, but he did remember the skeletons of long-dead Fire Nation soldiers, and Air Nomads. Why Aang would want to go there was a mystery to him. It must hold so many painful memories.

When they landed a short while later, Zuko had to fight the memories from surfacing. He didn’t want to be reminded of that right now. He didn’t want to think about all the horrible things he’d done in the past, especially right after he was banished.

“It’s beautiful, Aang,” Suki said, awe in her voice.

“It was a lot more beautiful before,” Aang said, but he didn’t sound sad. “When there were more sky bison and Air Nomads and lemurs around.” Momo chattered from his shoulder. “This is actually where we picked up Momo, right after I got unfrozen. Come on, let’s get inside and get some rest.”

They made their way up to the bedrooms, Aang excitedly talking about all the things that used to be there, all the trouble he used to get into. They settled into four adjacent rooms, Zuko and Aang lighting fires to help them stay warm. Momo immediately curled up on Zuko’s bed.

Suki and Toph went to sleep rather quickly, but Zuko just lay in the bed, staring at the ceiling. An hour or so passed before someone knocked on the door.

“Who is it?” he asked quietly.

“Just me,” Aang said, opening the door slightly. “Can I come in?”

Zuko sat up as the Avatar closed the door behind him and perched on the end of the bed. He looked like he hadn’t been able to sleep either.

“What’s up?” Zuko asked.

“I wanted to explain to you why I brought you here.” He paused. “It’s probably not the reason you think.”

“I honestly have no idea why you brought me here,” Zuko replied. “I would have thought it would be too painful to come back.”

“It hurts, yeah. A lot. It’s not something I can ever really...share with anyone else. No one else gets it. What I lost, there’s no one else in the world who would understand. That’s not why we’re here. We’re here because I need your help.”

The two boys stared at each other for a moment. “What do you need my help with?”

“I want to restore the Air Temples.” Aang had on that expression, the one that was a mix of excitement and sadness, like he couldn’t decide if he should laugh or cry. “I want to get them looking like they used to, all cleaned up and restored and...I want to give proper burials to all the Air Nomads who are still here. I mean, their bodies are here. Skeletons.”

“What about the Fire Nation soldiers?” Zuko asked before he could stop himself. They had managed to wipe out the Air Nomads, but there had been plenty of casualties, especially here. “We can’t just leave them lying around.”

Aang smiled. “I thought you didn’t like my forgiveness thing.”

“Forgiveness? I’m just talking about treating them with respect. They were people, they had families and--” Zuko stopped. The soldiers that were still spread out over the Earth Kingdom were people too, of course. And the generals in the Palace City. He took a deep breath and nodded. “I think I understand why you brought me here.”

“Good.” Aang stood up and looked out the window. “The soldiers who did this to my people, they were horrible people, but they were people. Just like the soldiers now. Just like your father. We don’t have to like them, or condone them, or even forgive them. But as soon as we start deciding who deserves to be treated like a person and who doesn’t, we fall into the same trap that your ancestors did. Everyone’s a person, whether you like them or not.”

Zuko got up and stood beside Aang. “So what did you want to do with the Fire Nation soldiers?”

“I want to give them proper burials, too. Whatever that means in the Fire Nation.” He sighed. “We’ll never be able to identify them all, and return them to their families, but we can do something.”

They looked out over the Air Temple and the surrounding area in silence for a few moments. Zuko couldn’t help but imagine the way it used to be, Air Nomads running around and training, sky bison flying through the air. Someday, he hoped the generational guilt of what his ancestors did would lessen.

“I know you think that you’re forcing us,” Aang said. “But you’re not. All of us want to help you. We’ve been through a lot together, and all of us know the horrors of this war. And we also know that no one can do it alone. You need us, and we need you.”

“I don’t see how you guys need me still. I thought...I thought that I had done all I could for you.”

Aang laughed. “You’re our friend. It’s not like you’re some tool for us. I know it can be hard, but you do need to let people care about you.”

Zuko chuckled. It had taken him years to accept that he deserved Iroh’s love and care. Now, he knew better. “You’re right. But I still don’t want everyone to abandon their homes. The Southern Water Tribe needs Sokka and Katara to rebuild it, and one of them has to be chief eventually. I won’t let them come.”

“You think you can stop Katara from doing something she wants?”

He paused. “Okay, well, I can stop Sokka.”

“Didn’t you guys break into the Fire Nation’s most secure prison with no plan?”

Zuko huffed. “Yes. But I could still stop him.”

“Sure you can.” Aang yawned. “I’m going to sleep. You should get rest, too. It isn’t a long way to the South Pole but I still don’t want you too tired when we get there.”

“How long are we staying?”

“A couple days.” Aang shrugged and opened the door to the hallway. “We’ll play it by ear. You’re good at that, right?”

Zuko huffed again and turned back to the window. He knew that all of his impulsive decisions in the past would always haunt him, but he didn’t really realize that they would be perfect joke material for his friends. He had to remind himself that things turned out okay, regardless of how little he planned things.

He crawled back into bed, and fell asleep within minutes.

~~~

Zuko actually managed to get some reading done on the ride to the South Pole the next day. Suki and Toph were talking, but they were being quiet about it, so he could concentrate. But he was disappointed at the quality of the counsel he was reading. So many of the people in the Fire Nation took a very aggressive stance on dealing with the end of the war. Either they wanted some kind of occupation until the Earth Kingdom was “ready” to rule itself again, or they didn’t support the end of the war at all. Some of them even wanted to take some kind of retaliatory action against those who fought the Fire Nation on the day of the comet.

They knew that would mean action against the Fire Lord, but they either didn’t care or wanted him to know explicitly that they didn’t support him.

After finishing the last one, Zuko angrily tore them up and threw the pieces over Appa’s saddle to fall into the ocean.

“You okay?” Suki asked.

Zuko looked up. They were all staring at him. “Yeah. I’m fine.” He sat back and folded his arms across his chest. “Everyone wants to keep the war going in some form. I asked them all to give me their plans for ending it, and they just want to keep it going.”

“You don’t have to listen to them,” Aang said, leaving the reins to sit beside Toph in the saddle. “You’re the Fire Lord, you get to make your own decisions, right?”

“Well, yeah, but...I don’t want to piss off every important adviser and military official in the Fire Nation. Even the Kyoshi Warriors can’t protect me against the entire Fire Nation army and navy.”

“It won’t come to that,” Aang said. “I won’t let it.”

“You’re just one kid, Aang. Even the Avatar can’t fight the whole army alone.”

“Why don’t you lock them up?” Toph said.

Zuko shook his head. “I can’t do that. If I go around locking up everyone who disagrees with me, what kind of message is that sending to the world? How would I be any different than my father?”

“You’d be locking up the bad guys.”

“Yeah, but that’s what they thought they were doing. We were the bad guys to them, and they thought of themselves as the good guys. Except for my dad and Azula, I don’t really want anyone to be in prison anymore.” He motioned to Aang. “You’re right. The only way to really end this whole thing is forgiveness. We have to move past it, and we can’t do that if we’re so focused on revenge.”

Aang smiled. “I’m glad you finally agree. You still don’t have to keep everyone as an adviser, though. You can just say that you appreciate their input but you want to start over. The world would appreciate that.”

Appa growled beneath them; they all looked ahead to see the first signs of the Southern Water Tribe. It was bigger than when Zuko first visited it, but that didn’t surprise him. It was a long time ago that he first came here.

Zuko still hadn’t been able to discuss all the war prisoners with his advisers. He wondered how many Water Tribe fathers and brothers were still being held in Fire Nation prison camps.

As they got closer, a crowd of people gathered just outside the walls of the town, some of them waving. Zuko could see Sokka, Katara, and Hakoda at the front. His heart warmed; it was good to see everyone together again.

Appa landed and Aang immediately leaped down and ran to Katara’s arms. They hugged tightly, both probably crying. Hakoda looked on with a smile, and nodded as Zuko disembarked. He reached out to the chief, and they grasped forearms. Zuko was getting better at learning each nation’s greetings.

“It’s good to see you, Chief Hakoda,” Zuko said.

“And you, Fire Lord Zuko.”

“SUKI!”

Sokka, who had been separated from Suki so many times, always greeted her as if they hadn’t spoken in months. Zuko smiled as he saw them embrace, and felt himself getting pulled into a tight hug from Katara.

“I didn’t know you’d be here,” she said, her eyes still red from her reunion with Aang.

“I decided I might as well drop by. See how you all are doing.” He motioned towards the village as she pulled back. “Looks like you’re doing well. You can hardly see where my ship broke through.”

Katara giggled, but someone behind them cleared their throat. Zuko looked up to see Sokka and Katara’s grandmother, arms crossed over her chest, a skeptical look on her face.

“It’s all well and good for you to laugh about it,” she said, “but it took us a long time to recover from what you did to our village.”

He bowed his head. “I understand, and I want to apologize for my actions in the past. I was misguided and wrong, and part of why I’m here is to restart friendly relations between your tribe and my nation.”

“My son-in-law has good things to say about you. Not to mention my grandchildren. But I’m going to keep an eye on you until you prove yourself to me.” A sly smile spread across her face. “But you can still call me Gran Gran.”

Everyone made their way into the village, where Zuko could really see how well they’d been doing. He heard that some of the Northern Tribe came to help rebuild after the battle at the North Pole, but this was beyond his expectations. When he raided it last year searching for the Avatar, it had been just a few igloos with a short snow-packed wall. Now, it was bigger, the wall was higher, and the people happier.

Aang and Katara disappeared, and Sokka was busy giving Suki a grand tour. Even Toph had found something to do: the young kids in the village laughed and clapped as she demonstrated metalbending. Zuko stood away from everyone else, not entirely feeling comfortable joining any group.

“You look like you don’t belong,” Hakoda said, standing beside him.

“Well, I don’t. Not really.” He sighed. “I know how so many people feel about me and my family, and my nation. I can’t convince everyone, and sometimes I feel like I can’t convince anyone.”

“Well, it’s certainly not going to be easy. You have your work cut out for you. But I also know that you are easily the most honorable Fire Nation person I’ve ever met. All you have to do is be true to your word. People will come around.”

Zuko laughed. “Yeah. That’ll be easy. Especially when half my military advisers didn’t want me to end the war. It wouldn’t really surprise me if they tried breaking my father out of prison while I’m gone.”

“Like I said, it won’t be easy. But you can do it.”

“There’s actually something I need to ask you.” Hakoda tilted his head, and Zuko took a deep breath. “Toph and Suki are coming back to the palace with me and Aang. The Kyoshi Warriors are going to be my personal guard, and Toph is going to be my first Earth Kingdom liaison. I don’t really...I don’t want Sokka or Katara to think they have to join me, but if they want to, I will let them. I just wanted to know if that’s okay with you.”

“If you honestly think I can control my children after all they’ve done, you might not be as observant as I thought.” Hakoda laughed and put a hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “If they want to help you rebuild, then that is perfectly fine by me. Obviously I’d like them close to home, but Sokka’s almost of age now, and Katara has proven herself more than capable of anything she sets her mind to.”

“That’s for sure,” Zuko said with a smile. “I just...I know you’ve been separated for years, and I know one of them has to be chief after you’re gone, and I don’t want to keep your family apart any longer.”

“I appreciate that, Zuko. But my decision stands. There is plenty of time after things have settled down for them to come home and learn to be chief.”

“In that case...I’d also like to ask if you would be willing to write out some advice, or ideas, or anything. About ending the war and rebuilding. All the advice from the Fire Nation is bad advice.”

“I’d be more than happy to assist the Fire Lord, especially given the circumstances.” Hakoda smiled. “We were planning on having a small family dinner tonight, but I think an occasion like this warrants a feast.”

“I’ve had so many feasts over the past few days,” Zuko said, patting his stomach. “But I suppose one more couldn’t hurt.”

~~~

It wasn’t until the feast was nearly ready that Katara and Aang returned from wherever they had been, holding hands and giggling. Sokka had finished giving Suki his extensive tour. Toph had run out of metal to bend, and the children she had been entertaining were bored of the trick regardless. No one was staring at Zuko like they had in the Earth Kingdom, but he could still feel the weight of everyone’s feelings about the Fire Nation with every sideways glance at him. So he sat separate from them, like he had for the past two days, waiting until the food was ready and everyone would be busy eating and wouldn’t have time to judge him.

“Quit sulking over here, Fire Lord.” He looked up to see Sokka, arms folded, standing in front of him.

“I’m not sulking.”

“Oh, right, of course you’re not. You never sulk.” Sokka sat next to him. Katara and Aang were making ice chairs and a long ice table, since none of them had any furniture big enough for the whole town. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Must have mixed you up with the other broody Fire Lord that I know.”

“I’m not broody either,” Zuko said, forcing a large smile. “See?”

“You’re happier when you’re around Mai.”

The mere mention of her name made Zuko’s heart warm and a genuine smile spread across his face. He missed her, he realized. It had only been a few days but he missed her. “Yeah. I guess I am. She didn’t want to come, someone has to act as Fire Lord while I’m gone.”

“Is she changing the Fire Nation color from red to black?” Sokka laughed at his own joke, and Zuko couldn’t help but laugh with him. “Made you laugh. Ha.”

“Stop laughing at his jokes, you’re just encouraging him,” Katara said.

“Oh, come on, Katara, that was funny!” Aang said, rubbing his hands together as he approached. “I forget how cold it is down here.”

“That’s why Mai didn’t want to come,” Zuko said. “She doesn’t like the cold very much. And she can’t firebend to keep herself warm.” He breathed hot air at his own hands. Aang laughed and copied Zuko.

“Show-offs,” Sokka grumbled.

“Now who’s brooding?”

“Oh, shush.”

They laughed; Zuko looked at them all, his heart warm still at the sight of them. He also missed his friends, while he was at the palace. It was lonely, without people his age around. It would be nice to have at least Suki and Toph around, and the rest of the Kyoshi Warriors. He quelled the impulse to ask Katara and Sokka to come with them too. The Southern Water Tribe needed them, especially since they were the chief’s children. If they were going to come along, it had to be their choice.

“Come on, guys,” Katara said, “let’s go eat.”

~~~

During the dinner, Zuko sat at Hakoda’s right, and Aang at his left. People were talking and laughing as they ate; Suki was in a deep conversation with Sokka and Katara’s grandmother; Toph and Sokka were making some of the village children laugh with jokes and tales of their adventures. The food was good, although Zuko did take Aang’s advice to avoid the sea prunes. The sun was starting to set, and the air around them got colder and colder.

A platter of pastries was passed around; Aang’s eyes lit up as he grabbed one. “Zuko, these are great, you have to try one!”

“I was already going to try one,” he said with a laugh. And it was, indeed, very good. He ate his quickly, then leaned back in the ice chair and stretched his arms. “That was a delicious meal, thank you all so much.”

Hakoda stood up, and the conversations around them quieted. “I’m glad we could all gather together for this nice meal tonight,” he said. “I wasn’t expecting this many people to arrive, but I’m glad that despite the short notice, our village showed our guests that we are generous people, even under the strained circumstances we’ve found ourselves in.” He smiled around the table. “I know things have been very hard for us, and the past year has been very strange, but I know we are all happy that the war is over.”

People around the table cheered and clapped.

“I have the great pleasure,” he continued, “of being the first Southern Water Tribe chief to welcome the Fire Lord to our village in a long, long time. And he is here as a friend, to our people, to my family, and to me.” He motioned at Zuko, who stood up reluctantly. “Fire Lord Zuko is perhaps not someone any of you would have ever invited to a feast here, but I hope that we can all start to heal from this war and forge new friendships and alliances.”

Everyone stared at Zuko, who realized a beat too late that he was supposed to say something. He cleared his throat. “Thank you, Chief Hakoda. It’s an honor to be welcomed here.” Sokka snorted; Katara elbowed him. “I hope that...I can help rebuild your tribe, and work to create a better relationship between us. I also thank you for the food, it was delicious.”

“I have a question.” Sokka and Katara’s grandmother stood up. Zuko didn’t remember her real name; he knew she wanted him to call her Gran Gran, but that felt too personal too soon. “What are your first steps going to be in restoring our relationship?”

“Kanna, don’t grill the boy over dinner,” Hakoda said.

“No, she has a point.” Zuko sighed. “I’m not sure yet. My advisers in the palace are all remnants from my father’s time, and none of them even really wanted me to end the war. Aang is helping me as best he can--”

“But you need someone from the Water Tribes to guide you,” Gran Gran interjected.

“I didn’t say--”

“We can do it!” Katara said, standing up and nudging Sokka. “We’ve already helped you so much, and you know I won’t let you do things that are bad for our tribe.”

“That’s for sure,” Sokka said. “She’ll let you know exactly when you do something she doesn’t like.”

“I know that, and I appreciate--”

“I think it’s actually a good idea,” Hakoda said, smiling at Zuko knowingly. “It would be a great gesture of goodwill.”

Zuko sighed. He didn’t want them to make this decision impulsively. No one knew how long it would be until things had calmed down. It might be years. This wasn’t a quick weekend trip. “I would love for us all to discuss this tomorrow, after we’ve had some rest--”

“We don’t need to discuss it,” Katara said. “We already decided.”

“I think he has a point,” Aang said, only wincing slightly when Katara whipped her head to stare at him. “I mean, this is a big decision. You shouldn’t take it lightly. You’ve already been away so long.”

“Do you not want us to come?” Sokka asked, frowning.

“Of course I want you there, that isn’t the problem.” Zuko glanced around the table; people were staring at their plates, or else looking around uncomfortably. “Can we please not do this here?”

“I think,” Hakoda said, a bit too loudly, “that we should all start to clean up and get some rest. It’s been a long day, and I’m sure you’re all tired.”

Seemingly eager for an excuse to not stay at the table, the villagers quickly got to their feet and started to gather the leftover food. They were all surrounded by a flurry of activity, and Zuko couldn’t stand it. It was too much, too overwhelming. He closed his eyes, clenching and unclenching his fists, before turning and walking quickly out of the village.

In all the commotion, it wasn’t surprising that everyone didn’t come after him. But Zuko did hear someone following him as he walked back towards Appa. He expected Katara, or Aang, or maybe Suki.

To his surprise, it was actually Sokka.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Zuko said. “I’ve heard it from everyone enough already.”

“I’m not going to guilt you into anything, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Sokka sighed. “I guess I just don’t get why you got so upset about it.”

“It’s just...everyone is uprooting their lives for me. Toph makes sense, I guess, I know that she hated living with her parents and needs something more, but Suki and the rest of them, I can’t...I just can’t understand it.”

“They want to help you. _We_ want to help you.”

“But why?”

“Why do you think?”

Zuko folded his arms and looked back at the village. People were setting up campfires and playing music and going back to normal. That’s all he wanted: for the Southern Tribe to go back to normal. “I know you guys are my friends, and I know that you want to help. But you’re needed here. You and Katara both.”

Sokka chuckled and sat on a nearby chunk of ice. After a second, Zuko sat next to him. “When my dad left the village,” Sokka said, “he entrusted me to guard it. I was the only boy who wasn’t old enough to go to war, and I was also the only boy who wasn’t under, like, six years old. I was the last warrior. It was up to me to protect the village. But when Aang needed us, I still left and went with him. I abandoned my home for nearly a year. Anyone could have come for the village while I was gone, but Aang needed us more than the village.”

Zuko knew all of this. They had both talked about their pasts on the way back from the Boiling Rock. “So?”

“So,” Sokka said, elbowing Zuko, “you think we don’t know what it means to make a tough choice? Katara and I have made that choice before, for someone we had only known a few days. We left our village and agreed to travel the world in the middle of a war, with the one person any Fire Nation soldier would kill almost on sight. It would have been so much easier to stay.”

“I can’t ask you to leave your dad again.”

“You’re not asking. I think you’ve made that pretty clear.”

“I can’t let you--”

“Zuko.”

“What?” Zuko looked up at him.

“Suki’s going to the palace. So I’m going too. If the problem is us uprooting our lives for you, then I’m not doing it for you. Problem solved.”

“It’s not that simple, especially if you tell me that it’s just to make me feel better.” Zuko stood up and started walking towards Appa again.

“Will you just let us care about you? I know you’re not used to it, but you’ve got us all as friends now. We’re all family. And I’m going back to the palace with you.”

He couldn’t think of anything else to say. There was no more arguing, and he knew it. He heard Sokka come up behind him, and felt his hand on his shoulder. “If you want, I can talk to Katara. See if she’ll stay here, for the good of the tribe. She’s the better one to take over after Dad leaves, anyway. I’m not leadership material.”

Zuko laughed and turned back around. “That’s not true, but I think I would like it if you could do that.”

“It’s settled then.” Sokka grinned widely. “When you, Aang, Suki, and Toph head back to the palace, I’m coming with. And maybe Katara will stay here. But who knows.”

“Not exactly comforting, but I’ll take it.”

They looked up to see Aang and Katara coming towards them. “Are you okay?” Aang asked.

“I’m fine,” he said.

“And I’m going to be the Water Tribe adviser,” Sokka said.

“If you’re going to the palace, then so am I,” Katara said indignantly.

“No, you’re needed here.”

“What, because I’m a girl? Because someone needs to do the laundry? You and I both know I’m capable of way more than just domestic duties!”

“Not because you’re a girl,” Sokka said. “Because Dad needs to train you.”

“Train me in what, exactly? I’m a great fighter, I’ve taken on way more Fire Nation soldiers than even he has--”

“He has to train you to be chief, Katara.”

Everyone fell silent. Katara’s eyes filled with tears; Aang glanced back and forth between the two siblings nervously. Then, Katara jumped forward and hugged Sokka tightly.

“Do you really mean it?” she asked.

“Of course I do,” Sokka replied, smiling. “You know I’m no leader. You’re the one who gives inspirational speeches and makes people feel better about themselves.”

“You’re a good leader, Sokka,” Aang said. “Don’t sell yourself short.”

Katara pulled back and wiped her eyes. “But...I don’t want you all to leave. It’ll be lonely here.”

“Only so many people can fit on Appa,” Zuko said. “We can’t bring the whole village back.”

“We should all go back,” Suki said. She and Toph came towards them from the village. “Get the gang back together again.”

They were all nodding, and Sokka looked at Zuko with his eyebrows raised. “What say you, Fire Lord Zuko?”

They turned towards him. He sighed. “I still think you guys are needed more here, but...I can’t stop you. If you guys all really want this, then I’ll be okay with it.”

“We can all rebuild the world together,” Katara said.

“I can’t wait to school those Fire Nation butt-heads,” Toph said. “They won’t know what hit them.”

“Hopefully something that will hurt a lot,” Sokka said. “Team Avatar is back together!”

Zuko rolled his eyes as they laughed. It would be so nice to have everyone together again. It had only been a few weeks, but he still missed them all. “We’ll head back up in a few days,” he said. “I don’t want the Kyoshi Warriors at the palace without me.”

“They can handle themselves,” Suki said. “But I do think we shouldn’t spend too much time away, this close to the end of the war. There’s a lot of work to do.”

“By the way,” Sokka said, turning to Zuko, “as your adviser, I advise you to dump all those generals and leaders your dad put in place. Start over with us.”

“I’m tired,” Zuko said. “I have a lot to think about. We can all talk more tomorrow.” He waved at them and made his way back to the village, to the small igloo Hakoda had shown him earlier. He wished he had put up more of a fight, tried harder to convince Sokka and Katara to not come along. He wanted them both to come, but he wanted it to be an informed decision. He wanted them to know what they were signing up for.

Of course, they knew just as well as he did what the risks were.

It was hard to find a comfortable position in the cold; he couldn’t risk heating his igloo up too much, or it would melt. So he curled up under a blanket, thinking over everything that had happened. Sokka and Katara were both coming to the Fire Nation with him. He hadn’t been able to dissuade any of them from joining him. Nothing was going according to plan.

Nothing, except his deepest desires. He wanted them all there. He wanted them because he missed them, because they were his friends and he felt comfortable around them, something that he wasn’t used to. The Fire Nation would be better off if the gang joined him, and vouched for the different nations that had been harmed. The whole world would be better off. The beauty of what Sokka called “Team Avatar” was their diversity; they truly represented all four nations. He couldn’t think of a better group of people to help bridge the gaps.

But he hoped they wouldn’t come to regret their decisions.

~~~

The next day, Zuko woke from a deep sleep to Momo licking his face. He yelped, pushing the lemur away and wiping his face.

“Momo, you need to stop doing that,” he said.

“He’s only doing it on my orders,” Aang said from the door. “You’re going to do something fun with us today. You know what fun is, right?”

“Ha ha.” Zuko sat up. “What are we doing?”

“Penguin sledding!”

Zuko blinked. “I have never heard of that.”

“Of course you haven’t, you’re not from the South Pole. It’s one of the first things I did after Katara found me in the iceberg.” Aang motioned outside. “Get ready, we’re leaving in ten minutes.”

“What about breakfast?”

“You should’ve woken up earlier.” Aang shrugged and walked back outside.

After getting dressed and grabbing a quick bite to eat, Zuko found Aang and Katara at the edge of the village. Aang was almost vibrating with excitement.

“It’ll be so much fun!” he said, jumping in the air. “Zuko, you’ll love it!”

“I’m sure I will,” he said, hesitatingly.

“You will,” Katara said. “Trust us. You ought to have fun once in your life.”

“I’ve had fun before.”

They laughed and started walking. Zuko wasn’t used to walking in the snow, so he fell behind pretty quickly. He wondered why Toph and Suki weren’t coming with them. This might count as yet another life-changing field trip for Aang and Katara. He was on thin ice with Toph enough as it was.

“Here, hold this.” Aang held out a small dead fish.

Zuko reached out and reluctantly grabbed the fish, holding it at arm's length. “Why?”

“To catch the penguins, of course!”

Almost as if on cue, Zuko heard several penguins waddling towards him. He turned; they were a lot bigger than he thought they would be. He took a step back, but he was soon tackled by three penguins. He fell on his back, one of the penguins jumping on his legs.

“Zuko, you have to grab one of them _before_ they attack you,” Aang laughed. Katara was bent double, tears in her eyes from laughing.

He grumbled and tossed the fish in the air. The penguins went after it, and he was able to grab one by the upper wings. Aang and Katara had, by this point, gotten penguins of their own.

“Good job, Fire Lord,” Katara said. “Now follow us. Just jump on its back, it’ll be fine.”

Still feeling a little nervous, Zuko did as he was told. Aang led them to the edge of a cliff, where he promptly jumped off. Katara followed right after. Listening to their gleeful yelling, Zuko took a deep breath and followed.

It was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. The penguin acted as a sled as they hurtled down the ice, over various bumps and divots. Zuko yelled, first in fear, then with pure joy. He found that he could steer by leaning to the left or right, and made a point to start hitting the bumps head-on to get more air. Katara and Aang were still quite a ways ahead of him, but he didn’t care anymore. All he cared about was this: the penguin, the wind stinging at his face, his hair whipping around his head, his hands and feet slowly losing circulation. He could have sworn he could even feel the wind on his scar.

It seemed like only a few seconds had passed when he saw the ice level out ahead of him, Aang and Katara already on their feet and brushing snow off their clothes. Zuko gripped the penguin tightly as they reached the flat ground; the two of them slowed to a stop near where the other two stood.

“Well?” Aang said expectantly as Zuko got to his feet.

Zuko grinned, his legs a little unsteady. “That was incredible! Why haven’t I tried that before?”

“Because you’re from the Fire Nation, Sifu Hotman.”

“Zuko, your hair--” Katara couldn’t finish her sentence, she was laughing so hard.

“What’s wrong with my hair?” He reached up to feel it, and his hands came back wet.

“You have white hair now,” Aang said with a laugh. “It’s all covered in snow!”

“I didn’t know being Fire Lord was so stressful,” Katara said, still giggling. “You’ve aged so much!”

“Shush up, you two,” Zuko said, but he was smiling. He wiped his face, which was wet from the melting snow and ice. His heart was still racing, and he wanted nothing more than to go back up the ice and do it again. “That was so much fun. We should do it again.”

“That would be awesome!” Aang said, already running to grab the penguins back again.

“Not so fast,” Katara said, grabbing Aang’s hood to stop him. “Don’t forget we have to start packing, too. We’re leaving tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Zuko said. “I thought we were staying a few days.”

“And I thought you wanted to get back to the palace,” Katara said. “Or did you change your mind with just one penguin sledding?”

“I didn’t change my mind, I just thought you guys would want more time with your dad.”

Katara looked down and sighed. “We spent so long without him, and we missed him a lot--”

“Exactly!”

“--but Sokka and I had a long talk with him last night after you went to bed.”

“You did?” Aang said. “I didn’t know about that.”

“It was a family thing. No offense.” She looked back up at Zuko. “But we’re a lot older than we were when Dad left.”

“Not a lot older,” Zuko said. “Only a couple years. And you’re both still younger than me.”

“That’s not the point. Dad missed so much of our lives, and we missed him and the rest of our tribe so much. But we all recognize who needs us most. The first time we had to choose between our dad and someone who needed us more, it was with Aang. But now it’s you.”

“I’m not helpless or anything.”

“That isn’t what I said. Just that you need us more than the tribe does. All the men are home now, and the war is over. You need our guidance and help more than our tribe does.”

Zuko looked at Aang, who shrugged. “Are you sure?”

“We’re sure.” Katara smiled and put a hand on his shoulder. “Right now, we’re with you. Whatever happens. Besides, I also want to school those Fire Nation butt-heads.”

Zuko laughed. The three of them started the trek back to the village, stopping every now and then so Zuko could warm up his hands. He should have gotten mittens or gloves. This journey was faster when they were sledding on penguins. By the time they finally got back to the village, it was nearing midday, and Zuko’s stomach was growling almost as loud as Appa.

“You’re back!” Sokka said as they approached, holding several different kinds of food in one hand. “How was it?”

“I don’t think Zuko’s ever had that much fun in his whole life,” Aang said. “Combined!”

“Ha ha.” He smiled anyway, and took some food from Sokka’s hands. “It was awesome, though. For real.”

“Hey, that’s my food! Get your own!”

“I just did.”

Aang and Katara laughed, while Sokka grumbled and ate the rest of the food he had. They walked back towards the center of the village, Aang telling Sokka all about the penguin sledding adventure, including the snow in Zuko’s hair. Suki and Toph were leaning against the main igloo, talking with Hakoda and Bato. Gran Gran offered them food, which they took gratefully.

“So, Katara was telling me that you made a decision,” Zuko said to Sokka.

“Yep. You can’t get rid of us that easily.”

“I wouldn’t want to get rid of either of you. I just didn’t want to separate your family again.”

“That’s very noble of you.” Zuko looked up, expecting to see Sokka laughing, but he wasn’t. “But Katara and I know what we’re doing. Dad will still be here when things calm down.”

Zuko smiled. Things might not be so bad after all, having the gang back in the palace together. They would certainly provide some much-needed entertainment.

Besides, he would need at least one of them to help him find his mother.

~~~

They spent the rest of the day packing. They couldn’t take everything on Appa, of course, not with everyone else and their belongings on board, so they arranged for Hakoda and Bato to come to the Fire Nation with the rest of the belongings the old-fashioned way. Hakoda would have the honor of being the first leader of a nation other than the Fire Nation to visit the Palace City since before Sozin’s reign.

“Where are we stopping for the night?” Zuko asked as the sun lowered toward the horizon. “Tomorrow, I mean.”

“I’m not sure if we will be stopping,” Aang said. “Appa probably could manage to fly all the way back.”

“Do you want to put him through that?” Katara asked. “He’s been through so much.”

“So have we,” Sokka grumbled. “And the sooner we get to the palace, the sooner we’ll have regular, big meals again.”

“Do you always think with your stomach?” Toph said. “We could stay over in my city.”

“Or the Southern Air Temple,” Zuko offered.

“Maybe Kyoshi Island?” Suki said.

“I think we’ll just fly straight there,” Aang said. He seemed nervous. “I’ve been giving him grief, but Zuko does have to get back to the Fire Nation. Mai can’t hold them off forever. We can take shifts flying Appa, and if he gets tired, I’m sure we can find a place closer to the Fire Nation to rest.”

“What are you kids arguing about?” Hakoda asked.

“Nothing,” Aang said. “Just deciding how to get to the Fire Nation fastest.”

“You’ll definitely get there faster than Bato and I,” he said with a smile. “Appa can make it, though, I’m sure.”

“What’s the worst that could happen if Zuko doesn’t get back tomorrow?” Katara said.

“Lots of things,” Zuko said. “They don’t like me ruling the country, but I’m still the Fire Lord, and they’re still Fire Nation citizens. But Mai isn’t the Fire Lord. I don’t know how well they’ll handle her leading.”

“And he doesn’t really have the army or navy under control yet,” Aang said. “The last meeting we were in, the generals were saying how hard it would be to convince them to not fight anymore. Without Zuko around, I don’t know if they’ll be doing what we asked.”

“And we’re too far away to know if they’ve mutinied.” Zuko sighed. “Maybe it was a bad idea, coming on this trip.”

“Then I guess we better get to sleep,” Suki said. “Appa will need his rest, and so will we.”

The rest of them nodded, and started loading up Appa’s saddle. They all decided that they should sleep on or around Appa, rather than throughout the village, to make it easier to leave the next day. The bison was already asleep, presumably because he knew what was in store for him the next day. It wasn’t long before the rest of them started following suit. Soon, it was only Zuko and Aang awake.

“You’re nervous,” Zuko said quietly. Toph, Suki, and Katara were sleeping on Appa’s saddle, while Zuko, Aang, and Sokka would be sleeping on the ground. Sokka was snoring on the other side of Aang’s sleeping bag.

“What gave it away?” The Avatar sat on his sleeping bag with his knees pulled to his chest.

“You’ve always been the one trying to convince everyone to have fun and relax. But now you’re desperate to leave.”

“Not desperate. I’m just worried about the fact that the army isn’t fully on your side.” He sighed. “I don’t want all of our hard work to be destroyed in a few days.”

“It won’t be. How much damage can the army do in three days?” Aang just stared at him. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. But...it’ll be fine, Aang. If things are bad when we get back, then we just work harder. We’ve got a metalbender now. I’d like to see them fight us with her on our side.”

“I hope you’re right. I just...have a bad feeling.”

“Try to get some sleep, Aang.” Zuko pulled the sleeping bag around his body and turned over. A few moments later, he heard Aang do the same. Eventually, they both fell asleep.

~~~

It was an early start the next day. They bade goodbye to Hakoda and were well past the last iceberg by the time the sun rose completely. Everyone was exhausted, and most of them kept nodding off for the first hour of the flight.

Aang sat at the reins, clutching Appa’s fur so hard his knuckles turned white.

“Are you okay, Aang?” Katara asked, climbing over to sit next to him and offering him some food.

“I’m fine,” he said. He didn’t react to her offer. “I just have a bad feeling, that’s all.”

“You should let someone else take the reins,” Katara said gently, putting her hands on his shoulders. “I can steer, or Sokka.”

Aang sighed, and nodded. “I know you’re right. I just hope we get there before anything bad happens. We shouldn’t have wasted so much time before.”

“Aang, we’ll be fine,” Sokka said, moving up to take his place. Katara sat in the saddle with Aang, rubbing his shoulders. “Just relax, take a nap, and we’ll be there before you know it.”

Toph was bending her metal bracelet into various shapes beside Zuko. “Twinkle Toes, you worry too much. You think they’ll do anything when you have me on your team?”

“We shouldn’t be cocky,” Aang said. “You know as well as I do that even the best laid plans get messed up sometimes.”

“So what are your plans?”

“We’re having the army and navy clean up the Earth Kingdom,” Zuko replied. “Ba Sing Se, and the landing sites, and every Earth Kingdom town in between. It kills two birds with one stone. The Earth Kingdom gets back on its feet, and the army proves itself. Plus, it keeps us from having to fire a bunch of angry soldiers and leave them unemployed.”

“What makes you think the Earth Kingdom will accept their help?” Toph said.

“I don’t think they exactly have a choice. I mean, my father and the army did a lot of damage to the Earth Kingdom. There’s a lot to clean up. Someone has to do it.”

“You’re right about that, but I think you underestimate the anger these people have for the Fire Nation soldiers. And the Fire Nation in general. Just because Aang vouches for you doesn’t mean the whole world will accept you.”

Zuko looked at his hands. “That’s...I know. I know that’s a problem. But that’s part of the reason why we’re doing this. So that we can fix it. Or, if not fix it, work on undoing the damage.”

“And the war prisoners? The occupied towns that don’t have any men of fighting age? The generation of children who will grow up without parents?”

“Toph, I think he gets it,” Suki said.

“I don’t think he does. I never had any strong feelings, not the same way Sokka and Katara did, because my family would’ve been fine either way. But I know a lot of people who aren’t happy about the way things ended up. They would have preferred the Fire Nation occupied by Earth Kingdom forces.”

“How would that be any different than before?” Zuko said indignantly. “Other than who is doing the occupying, it’s the same dilemma. Who decides who gets to occupy, and who gets occupied? Who decides what’s right and what’s wrong?”

“Aang does.”

“That’s not fair,” Aang said. “I’m here to restore balance, not give the entire world a moral compass. Plus, I’m barely thirteen.”

“Fair enough,” Toph said, “but Zuko is Ozai’s son. Zuko would have been Fire Lord even if the Fire Nation won the war.”

“Azula was going to be Fire Lord,” Zuko said, a little too harshly.. “Katara and I interrupted her coronation on the day of the comet.”

“That’s irrelevant. The outcome of the Fire Nation’s leader is basically the same, so why would the Earth Kingdom expect you to be any different than your father?”

“I ended the war.”

“I can think of reasons someone might pretend to end the war in order to gain the upper hand.”

“Toph, why are you doing this?” Katara said. “They’re doing the best they can, both of them!”

“All I’m saying is, Aang is so worried about what the Fire Nation army is going to do in Zuko’s absence, but none of you have brought up the very valid point that even after a century of war, the Earth Kingdom is bigger and more populated than the Fire Nation.”

They fell silent. Zuko had never seen Aang this terrified. Toph merely leaned back and kept playing with her bracelet. Katara seemed like she was about to say something, but Zuko held out a hand to stop her.

“I know you have a point, Toph,” he said. “And that’s why you’re coming with me. You know the Earth Kingdom people better than I do.”

“And you realize that I don’t know them very well, right? I’m a rich kid who never had a stake in the war. No one knew I existed until Aang came into my life. I have no idea what the average Earth Kingdom citizen wants or needs. Or how they feel about the Fire Nation, exactly.”

“I know a bit better,” Suki said. “And she’s right. You have no idea what the Earth Kingdom went through, how they feel.”

“I spent time in the Earth Kingdom,” Zuko said. “Before we ended up in Ba Sing Se. I spent time with the people there.”

“But you didn’t grow up there. You have no idea what it’s like, to live with the threat of the Fire Nation hanging over your head.”

Zuko touched his scar. “I have some idea.”

“Not enough,” Aang said. “And there’s no way for you to understand. There isn’t a way for me to understand it, either, the same way there’s no one who can understand what I went through, with the loss of my people.”

“What do you suggest I do, then?” Zuko said.

“I don’t know. I don’t have all the answers. That’s the point. None of us do.” Toph morphed the bracelet into the Earth Kingdom symbol. “But I think you should seek out the kind of people who do understand what it felt like. Put them on your council. Not just us.”

“That’s...a good point, actually,” Katara said. “Sokka and I used to fear the Fire Nation, they decimated our culture, but we were never occupied.”

“And Kyoshi Island stayed out of the war until you showed up,” Suki said, nudging Aang playfully.

“Who should I invite?” Zuko asked. “The only person I can think of is Jet, and he’s--”

“You said you spent time in the Earth Kingdom, right?” Katara said, a bit too loudly. “Isn’t there someone you met who could help?”

“I met a lot of people,” he replied. “None of them would want anything to do with me.”

“What about that girl from Ba Sing Se?” Aang asked.

Zuko felt his face grow hot. “Who told you about that?”

“Your uncle. He mentioned someone you met at your tea shop.”

“I don’t even know if Jin’s still in Ba Sing Se. And I doubt she would want anything to do with me, either.”

“She had a crush on you, from what Iroh said.”

Katara snickered. “Must have been something wrong with her.”

Zuko’s face burned. “Look, I’m not going to ask her, even if she wanted to help. It would require way too much explaining.”

“We can figure something out later,” Sokka said. “Look.”

All of them except for Toph crowded to the front of Appa’s saddle, staring where Sokka was pointing.

Ahead of them were the Patola Mountains, rising above the horizon as far as they could see. Zuko didn’t immediately see what was wrong. All he could see was a beautiful mountain range, one he’d first seen years ago when he was a very different person.

And then he saw the smoke. Thick plumes of smoke, and thin tendrils, rising from more spots than Zuko could count. It hadn’t been on fire when they visited the Southern Air Temple a few days ago.

He felt like his stomach had dropped to his feet. This couldn’t be happening.

“Aang, no!”

Katara reached out, almost falling off Appa as Aang jumped from the bison’s saddle with his glider. They watched as he flew, and his tattoos started to glow.

“Uh oh,” Sokka said. “Appa, yip yip! Follow him!”

The bison roared and dove down; they had to hang on to each other and the saddle to keep from flying off. As they got closer, Zuko could see a single Fire Navy ship anchored off the coast, and the fires seemed to be clustered around it. He was filled with rage and shame he hadn’t felt since the comet. He wanted to rip the entire ship to pieces and strand the sailors out here.

Ahead of them, Aang bent huge waves over the land to put out the fires, bringing the navy ship well inland. They could hear screaming, presumably the Fire Nation sailors. Appa landed nearby the ship, and they all jumped off. Katara ran to help Aang put out the fires, while Toph and Zuko took off towards the sailors, Suki hot on their heels. Luckily the sailors hadn’t spread very far, and they were all trying to retreat to the ship. Toph shot a few rock projectiles towards them, and Zuko deflected the firebending they were shooting.

“Wait!” One of the Fire Nation sailors brought down a sheet of fire between them and Zuko. “Don’t you know who that is!”

Taking advantage of their distraction, Toph bent the earth around them and trapped them between sheets of rock. They struggled but couldn’t bend, which is exactly what they needed.

“What are you doing here?” Zuko yelled, holding his fists at the ready, aiming at the captain of the ship. “Who gave you orders to fire on this place?”

“Why should we tell you?” the captain spat.

Zuko saw the sailor who recognized him recoil. He was surprised that the whole navy didn’t know him on sight. It wasn’t like he had a forgettable face. The scar was easily identifiable.

“Captain, I think you ought to answer his questions,” the sailor said meekly.

“Don’t give me orders!”

“I’ll give you orders,” Zuko growled, shooting fire around the captain’s head, careful not to hurt him. “And you had better obey them.”

“Who do you think you are?”

“You mean you don’t recognize him?” Toph laughed. “Oh, this is rich. That’s the Fire Lord, you moron!”

All the color drained from the captain’s face. Zuko smiled. “I--I’m sorry, my Lord. I didn’t--”

“You didn’t what, exactly? Didn’t recognize me? Didn’t get the memo that the war is over? Who gave you orders to attack this place?”

The earth rumbled around them, and the sailors shot up into the air, still encased in earth. Aang dropped from above, still glowing, held up by his airbending.

“The Avatar!” the sailors gasped.

“Who gave you orders?” Aang’s voice echoed in the mountains; Zuko could feel it in his bones. None of the sailors responded. “Answer me!”

“The Southern Raiders!” It was the sailor who had first recognized Zuko. “They told us they’d gotten orders from the capital!”

“He’s lying, Aang!” Toph shouted.

The sailor shot up even further in the air, eye-level with Aang. He looked more terrified than Zuko had ever seen a person look.

“We didn’t have orders!” he cried. “The captain just told us to do it!”

Aang looked down at Toph, who nodded. The rest of the sailors were dropped back to the ground, and the captain was brought up to Aang.

“Why did you give the orders?” Aang yelled.

The captain seemed to have lost his voice. The air around them started swirling faster and faster, until Zuko, Toph, and Suki could barely stand in one place.

“Aang, stop!”

Sokka stood on the deck of the ship, holding a scroll in his hand, offering it up to Aang. Everything froze for a moment. Then, the captain was dropped to the ground as well, and Aang stopped glowing. He landed on the deck next to Sokka, took the scroll, and read it.

“What’s going on?” Toph asked. “I can’t see what they’re doing on that ship!”

Aang looked up, locking eyes with Zuko. His expression was unreadable, and yet Zuko understood immediately. The scroll was a message from someone, and by the looks of it, it was someone very high up. Zuko ran up the gangway, almost ripping the scroll out of Aang’s hands.

“This is impossible,” he muttered as he read.

“Zuko--” Sokka put a hand on his shoulder, but he immediately recoiled.

“Don’t touch me. Don’t--” He crumpled the scroll up and tossed it overboard with a yell. “This is impossible!”

Katara, Suki, and Toph had boarded the ship by now, and all three watched in confusion as Zuko paced the deck with his head in his hands.

It couldn’t be. Nothing about this made sense. He felt like his whole body was going to break apart, from the confusion and pain.

“Sokka, what happened?” Suki asked quietly, clutching Sokka’s elbow.

“The scroll said the orders came from Mai,” Aang answered.

No one said anything after that. There was nothing to say.

~~~

Zuko did not pay any attention to what the rest of the gang were doing with the Fire Nation sailors. He merely paced the ship, almost tearing his hair out, tears stinging at his eyes and falling down his cheeks. Every time someone tried to talk to him, he would just pace faster.

His heart couldn’t handle this. It was impossible. Mai wouldn’t. She wouldn’t do this. She wouldn’t do anything with the Fire Nation army or navy while he was gone, and she definitely wouldn’t order them to set fire to anything. Especially not these mountains, with the Southern Air Temple.

He stopped pacing when he got dizzy; instead, he sat on the deck with his back to the railing, knees pulled to his chest and face buried in his arms.

He loved Mai, and he thought Mai loved him. She had stood up to Azula at the Boiling Rock, when she knew it would land her in prison, when it wasn’t certain that Aang would defeat Ozai. Mai risked everything for him, and now she was sending Fire Navy ships to set fires? What would have happened if they hadn’t been flying over? Would the sailors have burned the Southern Air Temple too? Where would they have stopped?

Who else had gotten these orders?

Zuko stood up when he could no longer hear any of the others nearby. The sailors were nowhere in sight, but he could see Appa further inland. The rest of the gang must be with him, waiting for Zuko. He climbed down from the ship and started walking towards the bison. He didn’t feel like he was in control of his body; he felt like he was just observing.

“We need to get back to the Fire Nation,” he said once he reached them. The five kids just stared at him. “Now. I don’t care if Appa can’t do it. I don’t care if we have to fly all night.”

Aang and Katara shared a look. “We agree with you,” Aang said. “But we wanted to talk about this whole thing.”

“Sit down, Zuko,” Suki said gently.

He huffed and sat beside Toph, who didn’t seem to have anything snarky to say anymore. “What do you want to talk about?”

“We don’t think Mai did this,” Katara said. “We may not know her as well as you do, but Sokka and Suki were telling us about the Boiling Rock. What she did there. Who she stood up to. She wouldn’t just suddenly change course like this.”

“There must be someone impersonating her,” Sokka said. “Trying to hide behind her, use the fact that she’s acting as Fire Lord in your absence to do these things. Maybe they’re trying to convince people that she’s back with Azula or something, I don’t know--”

“Well Azula and my father are in jail,” Zuko snapped. Sokka flinched. “Who else could it be?”

“You said yourself that none of your advisers want the war over,” Katara said. “It could be any of them.”

“Unless it really is her.” He didn’t believe it, of course, but the option had to be on the table. Maybe she really had changed course. Maybe she really was back with Azula, and had only been gaining his trust to take over. “She urged me to go on this trip. She practically pushed me out of the Fire Nation.”

“She didn’t do this, Zuko,” Aang said. “I know you don’t believe she did.”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore!” He looked up at Appa. “Can’t we just get going? We’re never going to figure it out if we sit around here.”

“You’re right, but we need to be prepared for the possibility that--” Aang stopped. Swallowed thickly. Looked at Katara. “The possibility that the Fire Nation isn’t safe for us anymore.”

Zuko stood up, walked past all of them, and climbed aboard Appa. “I’m leaving for the Fire Nation either way,” he said, taking the reins. “Are you guys coming, or not?”

The others exchanged worried glances, but climbed into the saddle regardless. Zuko didn’t stop to ask whether they had everything they needed, whether the Fire Navy ship was safe to leave behind, what had happened to the sailors. He simply said, “Yip yip,” and they were off.

~~~

Aang, Katara, and Sokka all tried to take the reins from Zuko, but he refused to let go. He felt like he could barely control what he was feeling, and he had to focus on something or he would explode.

He was filled with rage, and then sadness, and then confusion, and then rage again. He didn’t know who could be behind this. He didn’t know if Mai had betrayed him or not. He didn’t know if the Fire Nation was even safe. He didn’t know if he would still be Fire Lord when they landed. None of that mattered. They just needed to get there.

He finally agreed to let Aang steer when he was shaking with hunger, the sun very close to the horizon. He hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast. As he nibbled on the bread Katara gave him, he felt everyone’s eyes on him.

“You can stop staring,” he mumbled.

“I’m not staring,” Toph said.

“You know what I mean. The rest of you. I just want to get to the Fire Nation.”

“What if it isn’t safe?” Katara asked. “What if there was a coup while you were gone?”

“We’ll deal with that when we get there.”

“You’re not thinking this through,” Sokka said, and Zuko let out a sharp laugh. “Don’t act like we’re being unreasonable. Your dad still has tons of allies, you said so yourself. Azula still has her bending, and who knows if she managed to break out. We have to be prepared.”

“I am prepared.”

Sokka threw his hands in the air and crossed his arms. “It’s like talking to a brick wall.”

“A brick wall doesn’t talk back,” Toph muttered.

“Will you guys quit acting like I’m a child?” Zuko snapped. “I know what the risks are. You think I haven’t been preparing my whole life for something like this? You think it wasn’t something my father drilled into us, that there were threats all around us and we couldn’t trust anyone? There’s nothing anyone in the Fire Nation can do to me that’s worse than what’s already been done.”

“Iroh was still in the Fire Nation when we left,” Aang said.

As the others fell silent, Zuko realized this is what they were trying to prepare him for. If there had been a coup while Iroh was still there, whoever overthrew the government would have at least taken Iroh prisoner.

At least.

He fought the tears that were already falling down his cheeks. “We’ll deal with it when we get there, okay?”

Suki moved to sit beside him and put an arm over his shoulder. Without even thinking about it, he leaned into her. “We’re here for you. Whatever happens.”

The others nodded. Zuko took a deep breath and nodded as well. “How much longer until we get there?”

Aang looked out in front of them, squinting as the sun approached the horizon. “Not long, I think,” he said. “I’m pretty sure I can just see the tip of the Fire Nation.”

“Then we all better be on the lookout.”

~~~

It was well past sunset when they finally landed in the palace courtyard. Nothing seemed out of place, but it was dark and hard to tell. They weren’t ambushed when they landed, which was a good thing, but Zuko didn’t let his guard down. They were on a ten-ton flying bison, and they were also some of the most powerful benders in the world. An attacker would be stupid to try and take them all on at once.

“Fire Lord Zuko! How good to have you back!”

They all jumped as someone approached them in the shadows.

“Who are you?” Zuko said, hands up, ready to attack if he needed. “We can’t see, it’s dark.”

“My apologies, my Lord.” The shadowy figure stepped into the light. Zuko breathed a sigh of relief. It was just the head of household, Muku. “I didn’t mean to frighten you. What has you so jumpy, my Lord? Did something happen while you were gone?”

Zuko lowered his hands. “I can’t talk about that out here. Where is Mai?”

“She’s asleep, my Lord, but I’d be happy to wake her.”

Zuko looked at Aang, who nodded. “Do that. Have her meet me in the throne room.”

Muku bowed and disappeared into the palace. The rest of them stood in the courtyard, waiting for something to happen. Anything.

“We should go inside,” Zuko said. “Toph, we’ll need to know if someone is coming towards us.”

“On it.” She put a hand to the ground. “There are people in the palace, but most of them aren’t moving around. No one else in the courtyard, though.”

“Good. Let’s get inside. Appa can stay here.”

Zuko and Toph led the way into the palace, stopping at every corner to listen and feel for anyone unexpected. By the time they reached the throne room, they were all on edge. The throne room was dark, so Zuko and Aang lit the torches. Mai wasn’t here yet. They gathered at the throne.

“What is going on?” Aang whispered. “This whole place feels wrong.”

“It might just be because we’re expecting something wrong,” Katara said hopefully. “Maybe it’s just weird because it’s nighttime. Things are always weird at night.”

“Zuko?”

Everyone jumped and turned to the door. Mai stood in the threshold, rubbing her eyes. Zuko felt a complicated mix of happiness and anger at the sight of her. On the one hand, he missed her terribly. On the other, she might have betrayed him.

“What is going on?” Mai asked, stepping into the room.

“I need to talk to you,” Zuko said. “Something happened while we were coming back from the Southern Water Tribe and I need to talk to you.”

Mai glanced at the others in confusion before sighing and coming closer to the throne. “I’m not sure what’s going on here, but I can see you’re really worked up about it.” She knelt in front of the throne and bowed her head.

Zuko felt uncomfortable with anyone bowing in front of him, especially her, but considering the circumstances, he just took a deep breath. “When we were passing over the Patola Mountains, they were on fire. A Fire Navy ship had landed and the sailors were wreaking havoc on the surrounding forest, and the orders had your name on them.”

Mai looked up, eyes wide. “What? You think I--”

“I don’t know what to think, Mai. Something is wrong around here, and I need to know what happened.”

“Zuko, I would never do that. I would never go against what you want, and I would never extend the war. You know that.” She got to her feet and moved closer to him. “You have to believe me.”

Zuko slumped back in the throne, putting his head in his hands. “Then what’s going on? Who ordered them to strike? How many other orders were sent out?”

“We should get the generals in here,” Aang said.

“You’re right.” Zuko looked up. “Muku, gather my generals and admirals. Immediately.”

Muku bowed from the door and left. A thousand thoughts were flying through Zuko’s head, and he couldn’t focus on any of them. Mai gently put a hand on Zuko’s arm; when he didn’t push her away, she sat on the arm of the throne and kissed the side of his head.

“I’m sorry, Zuko,” she said. “I wish I knew what was happening so I could give you the answers you need.”

The throne room was silent for the fifteen minutes it took for all the generals and admirals to gather, most of them in dressing gowns, yawning.

“What’s going on, my Lord?”

Zuko stood up, the flames in all the torches around the room growing just enough to make the military leaders look nervous. “There was a Fire Navy ship burning the forests on the Patola Mountains. The orders came from the Palace City, and I want to know who sent them.”

The generals looked at each other. “My Lord, none of us would--”

“Don’t give me that!” They recoiled from him. “Someone sent those orders! Who was it? How many did you send?”

“I swear to you, my Lord,” one admiral pleaded. “None of us sent any orders at all while you were gone. Not even to retreat or clean up, or anything.”

Zuko looked at Toph. “They’re terrified, Hotman,” she said. “But they’re telling the truth.”

“And none of your subordinates sent anything? No messenger hawks were sent from this city?”

“I don’t know what my subordinates--”

“Isn’t it your job to know that?”

“Please, my Lord, if we could bring in the postmaster, he can vouch that nothing was sent out.”

Zuko shot fire at their feet, making them all jump back with a yell. “Then go get him! None of you are off the hook until I find out for sure who did this!”

“Zuko,” Mai said, taking his hand and gently pulling him back. “Please calm down.”

“Calm down? You want me to calm down?”

“Yes. None of them did it, and acting like this isn’t going to solve the problem.” She gently tugged his hand, and he allowed himself to be pulled back to the throne. “Muku already went to get the postmaster. We’ll figure this out soon.”

The generals exchanged worried glances as they waited, but Zuko didn’t get back up from the throne. He was exhausted, and confused, and didn’t have the energy to scare them anymore. Sokka and Suki yawned, and Zuko realized how long they’d been awake. He would sleep for a few days when this was over.

It only took five minutes for the postmaster to arrive. He immediately knelt in front of Zuko.

“My Lord, how can I be of assistance?”

“Have any orders to the Fire Navy left this city while I’ve been gone?”

The postmaster looked up. “Only one, my Lord.”

“And who sent it?”

He gulped. “It was a man who said he had orders from the highest level. I didn’t ask questions, I know that’s not my place.”

“What did he look like?” Zuko got to his feet again, breathing heavily.

“He wore a black robe--or, I guess it could have been a dark color, not just black--and he had a black, cone-shaped hat.” The postmaster paused. “His robe had a green circle on the chest.”

Zuko inhaled sharply, turning to look at Aang. He saw his own terrified expression reflected in the Avatar’s face.

“The Dai Li,” Aang said.

“The Dai Li only take orders from one person,” Zuko said. “My sister.” He turned back to the generals and the postmaster. “All of you, go back to your quarters. I have a visit to make.”

~~~

Zuko only brought Aang with him to the prison. He didn’t want anyone else in danger, and he knew Aang could hold Azula off. It was still the middle of the night, but Zuko didn’t care about that. Azula had a lot to answer for, and so did the prison guards.

“My Lord,” the main guard said as they approached, bowing his head. “What brings you here this late?”

“Out of my way,” Zuko growled. “I’m going to see my sister, and then I’m going to interrogate every single guard you have working here. Gather them in the prisoner intake room. Got it?”

The guard nodded and moved out of the way.

“Zuko, what are you going to do to her?” Aang asked. “How do we deal with this?”

“I’ll figure it out when I get there.”

Aang grabbed Zuko’s arm to stop him. “You can’t just go in there without a plan. You know what she’s like, you know how good she is at manipulating you.”

“She’s good at manipulating a lot of people, not just me.”

“Yeah, but she has a fourteen year head start with you.” Aang sighed. “She knows exactly how to push your buttons. You can’t go in there without a plan, or she’ll just tear you apart again.”

Zuko knew Aang was right. There was no one who could undermine and manipulate him like his sister, except Ozai. She had proven that time and time again. Just like his father, she would know the kind of things to say to keep him there, even if she didn’t actually tell him anything. She was an expert at mind games, and he always managed to fall for her tricks.

“What should our plan be?”

“Maybe we don’t confront her right now. Maybe we figure out which guard let her have visitors, or which Dai Li agent sent the orders. What good will come of confronting her right now?”

“It’ll make me feel better.”

“Zuko.”

“I know. I know it’s a terrible reason. But it’s the truth. She’s ruined so much of my life already, Aang. And now she’s trying to ruin this.”

“Don’t let her.” Aang put a hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go talk to the guards, okay? And then we need some sleep. There’s a lot we have to clean up around here tomorrow.”

Zuko sighed. He followed Aang through the prison, fuming. Azula had taken so much from him. He wouldn’t let her take this victory. He had ended the war, and he was creating the era of peace. Azula wasn’t going to ruin it.

The guards were gathered in the intake room, all of them looking confused. When they noticed Zuko, they all knelt on the ground and bowed.

“Which one of you let my sister have a visitor?” he asked. The guards remained on the ground, none of them answering. “I asked you a question! Which of you let a Dai Li agent in here?”

“None of us, my Lord,” one guard said, looking at the ground. “We aren’t in charge of visitors coming into the prison.”

“But you can stop one from reaching a certain prisoner. I know you can. There were plenty of guards who tried to stop me when I visited Uncle. So who’s assigned to Azula?” Silence. “Get on your feet and answer me!”

Finally, one guard towards the back of the room stood, head bowed. “I am, my Lord.” His voice trembled. “But I swear to you, I wouldn’t let anyone near her cell. I know we have orders to keep visitors from her.”

Zuko looked around at the guards. There were three sets of guards, for three different shifts. Any one of them could have done it. It didn’t have to be the night guards. In fact, Zuko realized it would be more suspicious to try and visit someone at night. The Dai Li weren’t stupid, and neither was Azula.

“Absolutely no one is to go near her cell,” Zuko said. “No outsiders, no visitors, no one. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, my Lord,” the guards answered.

“And if I find out that one of you is lying, you will quickly find yourself on the other side of the bars. I don’t care what excuse you might have. Dismissed.”

The guards shuffled out of the room, leaving Zuko and Aang alone with the main guard.

“My Lord, if I had known that someone was letting visitors in--”

“Move her to a new cell,” Zuko said. “The Dai Li are earthbenders, they could have reached her window and spoken to her that way. Make sure she doesn’t have a window.”

“Zuko--”

“I don’t care, Aang. I don’t care if it’s cruel. You know what she’s done.” He turned to the guard. “Make sure her location is a secret. I’ll interview some guards tomorrow. I’m going to find out who did this.”

“My Lord, if I may ask...what did she do?”

Zuko turned towards the door, a scowl on his face. “She tried to restart the war.”

~~~

Zuko thought he wouldn’t be able to sleep, with all the thoughts bouncing around his head, but he was so exhausted that he fell into a dreamless sleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

When he woke up, the shadows outside told him it was past midday. He yawned and got to his feet. He could hear the daily life of the palace around him, which put him at ease. If it had been silent, he would have assumed the worst.

His attendants came as soon as he started making noise in the room, while he was getting dressed. They offered to bring him food, or take him to the spa, but he shook his head and dismissed them for the moment. He had so much to do today, he didn’t have time to visit the spa.

Aang and Katara were waiting for him near the throne room.

“Where’s everyone else?” Zuko asked as he came closer.

“Sokka’s still asleep,” Aang said, “and Suki is taking a tour with one of the attendants, so she can help out better as a guard. I don’t know where Toph is, though.”

“How are you doing?” Katara asked.

He heard the worry in her voice. “I’m better now that I’ve had some sleep. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.”

“I talked with that Muku guy, and he said Iroh left the same day we did. So he’s safe, at least.”

“Thanks, Aang.” That was one less thing to worry about, at least. “I’m going to get something to eat, and then I’m going to need all of you to meet me in the room that used to be the War Room. All of you, Sokka and Suki included.”

They nodded, and Zuko turned and started towards the kitchens. He needed to find someone to gather the generals, and he needed to talk to the next shift of guards at the prison, and he needed to make sure none of the other ships or troops got orders that were sent from somewhere other than the palace.

“There you are.” Mai found him as he was eating, a smile on her face. “I’ve been looking for you. How are you doing?”

“I’m fine. I’ve been worse.” He felt immensely better, though, when she sat next to him. “I’m sorry I thought it was you.”

“Don’t be. I know how scary that must have been.” She ran her fingers through his hair, which he just realized was still down. He hadn’t even thought to put it up. “She’s not going to win this time. We stopped her.”

“Did we, though? Maybe she had the Dai Li send messages from other places and pretend they were from the palace. I need to make sure no one else is burning anything. I can’t have the war starting again. I can’t have the Earth Kingdom and the Water Tribes thinking I’m not a man of my word.”

“They won’t think that once they find out it’s Azula.”

“You don’t know that. They might think that’s me trying to shift blame.”

They sat in silence while he finished his meal. Zuko felt ashamed of how angry he had gotten last night, at Mai and his generals and the postmaster. Deep down, he knew it wasn’t any of them. The generals might not like him or his plan, but he was the Fire Lord. That counted for something even if what he was doing was unpopular.

Then again, he didn’t want people obeying him blindly just because of his title. That’s what made his father so powerful.

“I want you to come with me to a meeting,” he said, taking Mai’s hand. “I’m setting up a council, and I want you to be on it.”

“What kind of council?”

“People who are going to give me advice and different perspectives.”

“So, your friends?”

Zuko nudged her, laughing. “Yes, my friends. But that’s only because they’re the only people I know who are both willing and able to do the job.”

“I’d be honored.”

They reached the Not-War Room a few moments later. Zuko could hear hushed conversations behind the door, but the room fell silent as he entered.

The generals and admirals sat around the map, some of them looking tired and irritable. Aang had taken his usual place, but the rest of the gang were standing to the side of the room, unsure of where to go.

“Thank you for coming on short notice,” Zuko said. “Again. And I apologize about last night. But things are worse than I thought here, and I need to know who I can trust and who I can’t.”

“You can trust us, my Lord.”

“I know that. But I still had to be sure.” He stood at the head of the map, hands behind his back. “Azula used a Dai Li agent to send a messenger hawk with orders to destroy the Patola Mountains. Though I can’t be sure, I believe her goal was the Southern Air Temple. I know the past year has been quite an upheaval and you’ve been forced to change course several times, but I need to stress how important it is that you do not take orders from Azula.”

“We understand, my Lord.”

“And you are not to visit her, either. I want her to have no contact with anyone who could enact any military actions.”

He looked down at Aang, who motioned to their friends against the wall. “I think you should introduce them now,” he said.

Zuko nodded, waving for them to come closer. “I know you all probably know who my friends are, but I’m going to introduce them a little differently now. This is Suki and Toph, who will be my Earth Kingdom advisers for the time being. And this is Sokka and Katara, who will be my Water Tribe advisers. Starting today, they are my Peace Council. Any actions taken by any of you must be approved by them, and by myself.”

“My Lord, if I may?” one general said, raising his hand. Zuko nodded to him. “I mean no disrespect to them at all, as I know that they were integral to winning the war. But they are...I don’t know how to say this delicately. They’re children, my Lord.”

“So am I,” Zuko said. “I’m only seventeen. Aang’s thirteen. If you have no problem listening to us, then you have no problem listening to them.”

“Yes, my Lord, but...you’re the Fire Lord, we’re duty-bound to obey you. And he’s the Avatar.”

“And these are the best benders in the world, General. Toph invented a new kind of bending. Katara was Aang’s waterbending teacher. And even Sokka and Suki, though they’re not benders, are the greatest warriors I’ve ever seen. Do I need to remind you that they nearly single-handedly took out the entire fleet of airships during the comet?”

“No, my Lord. I understand.” He and the other generals bowed their heads.

Zuko knew they were still skeptical, but he didn’t press the point. He didn’t want to get caught up dealing with something relatively insignificant. He knew his friends would prove themselves in time. “Good. I will not be disbanding the council of generals, because as long as I have soldiers out there, I will need you. But you will not be my only advisers anymore. If anyone’s ego has a problem with that, I suggest they get over it. My decision is final.” Mai coughed. “Oh, and Mai is on my council as well. She will represent the Fire Nation.”

“As for Azula,” Aang said, getting to his feet, “we need to make sure this can’t happen again. There needs to be some kind of failsafe for communications between us and the soldiers. A way to make sure that they know a real communication from a false one. Perhaps a code or phrase included in the message?”

“The code could be broken,” Sokka said. “And they could figure out the phrase.”

“What do you suggest, then?”

“Set up your plan for them, and go tell it to them in person. It’s not like we need to be aware of changing battlefields and stuff, right? So just tell them what they’re going to be doing, and tell them to ignore any communication that says otherwise unless you come in person again.”

“That’s a lot of traveling,” Zuko said. “There are troops everywhere.”

“We have a flying bison.” Sokka grinned. “I think we can manage.”

“That’s actually a good idea,” Aang said. “He’s right, we won’t be changing our orders any time soon. And there’s no way anyone can pretend to be you. They especially can’t pretend to be me.”

Zuko looked out to his generals. “What do you all think?” He paused. “I want honest opinions. I don’t want you agreeing just because you think that’s what I want. I’m not my father. I need people to guide me, not do exactly as I say.”

The generals exchanged a look. Zuko couldn’t tell what was going through their minds, but he assumed they were against anything that would make it harder to reverse course. A few of the generals whispered to each other, nodding or shaking their heads depending on what each one said. Zuko crossed his arms and tapped his foot, waiting.

“My Lord,” one admiral said, getting to his feet after a few moments. “We’ve discussed the plan, and we would like to offer our approval. However, we would like to have it understood on everyone’s part that we are still in control of our troops.”

“And you still answer to the Fire Lord,” Mai said, stepping forward. “Last I checked, Zuko is still Fire Lord.”

“With all due respect, we all know our troops, and war in general, better than any of you. We’ve been fighting it all our lives, and we’ve all been on the front lines.”

“With all due respect,” Zuko said through gritted teeth, “the war is over. And all of your military experience doesn’t make you any more qualified for peacemaking than any of the rest of us.”

“Like we told you before, our soldiers aren’t going to just give up the fight. It isn’t as easy as just telling them to clean up.”

“What do you suggest, then?”

The admiral looked at the other advisers. “You took our recommendations with you when you went to the Southern Water Tribe.”

“And all of you recommended continuing the war! That’s not an option!”

“We were so close, my Lord.” This came from the general who was in charge of the troops in the east, near Ba Sing Se. “We had all Earth Kingdom cities and towns under our control.”

Zuko grabbed the general by the front of his uniform; he intended it to be intimidating, but he was still shorter than the rest of them. “The war is over, do you understand? There is no more war!”

“Zuko,” Aang said, pulling him back. “This isn’t how we should get it done.”

“How, then? What do you suggest?”

Aang sighed. “I don’t know.”

“My Lord--”

“I don’t want to hear anything else from you!” The flames in the torches flared again. “None of you care about anything but the war! And none of you are on my side!”

“I thought you said there were no more sides.”

Zuko shot fire at the map on the ground; it burned quickly, making the generals jump back. “If none of you will accept that the war is over, you’ll quickly find yourselves out of a job.”

“Aren’t we already out of a job?” The general didn’t seem to fear Zuko’s threats and anger. In fact, he looked more resolute now than before. “Since the war is over, there’s no need for us, right?”

“You’re right,” Zuko said. “I don’t need you anymore. Any of you.”

Aang grabbed Zuko’s elbow. “Don’t do something you’ll regret. You do still need them. You need their advice.”

“No, Aang, I don’t. They’re just going to keep telling me to abandon what I’ve been doing and go back to the war. They were all appointed by my father. I need to rid this whole city of people who are loyal to my father.”

“There won’t be anyone left,” one general said. He sounded almost sad.

“Then good riddance to them all!” Zuko snapped.

“I think we all need to take a break,” Katara said. “We don’t need to be fighting right now. Not with Azula trying to instigate things.”

“Besides,” Aang said, “it’s going to take a while for everyone to move past the lifetime of propaganda. You know that better than anyone.”

Zuko just turned his back on them all and went to the throne. He heard people moving around and leaving, but he didn’t care. He was sick of running into the same wall with these people. He was sick of the way everyone in the palace is a holdover from his father. He was sick of the whole thing.

“Zuko.”

He finally turned around; the only person left in the room was Suki. She took a few steps toward him, and when he didn’t move away, took his hand. He looked down, but didn’t pull away.

“I know this is hard for you,” she said. “And I wish there was a way for us to make it easier for you.”

“Me too.”

Suki squeezed his hand, and then turned and left. Zuko sighed. He had hoped things would start to get easier over time, but it seemed as though it was going to get harder for the foreseeable future. He followed Suki out of the Not-War Room, but turned the opposite way and headed out of the palace.

He had a visit to make.

~~~

The only person in the prison who had more security than Azula was Ozai, with good reason. Zuko and Aang had personally picked the guards for Ozai’s cell, since they couldn’t be sure that the normal prison guards wouldn’t work with him.

The only person who could visit Ozai was Zuko. Not even Aang was allowed in without an escort.

“Come to pester me again?” Ozai was sitting against the wall of his cell. His hair and beard had grown, his face was thinner, his cheekbones sharper. It was harder to tell with his position, but Zuko knew that his father had also lost weight in the rest of his body.

Instead of responding, Zuko sat cross-legged outside the cell, just out of reach. Ozai couldn’t bend, but he was still a dangerous person.

“Ah, the silent treatment. How typical.”

“You’re lucky Aang decided your fate,” Zuko said. “Any of the rest of us would have killed you.”

“Do you consider me to be lucky?” Ozai motioned to his cell. “This is where I will die, whenever that happens.”

“You’re right. You could be tortured every day. That would make this worse.” Zuko smirked. “Aang would never have to know.”

“What do you want?”

Zuko took a deep breath. “The same thing I’ve wanted since the day of my coronation.”

Ozai laughed sharply and turned away. The first few times Zuko came to ask, there had been taunts and false starts, empty promises and useless clues. But lately, his father must have realized that he had nothing to gain by telling him, and that allowed him one final bit of control over Zuko’s life.

That, more than anything, made Zuko’s blood boil.

“I know you know where she is. The same way you kept tabs on me, you wouldn’t risk her coming back and ruining the life you were building.”

“She fulfilled her use,” Ozai growled. “What could I gain from knowing where she is?”

“You would never let go of control like that.”

His father looked over his shoulder. “I suppose you’re right. You know more than anyone that I still have control even here.”

The two of them sat in silence. Zuko refused to leave on that note. He would wrest control from his father’s hands if it was the last thing he ever did. But there wasn’t a single thing he could think to say that didn’t sound like a petulant child trying to one-up his father. So he sat, fuming, until the guard knocked on the door.

“My Lord?” The guard peeked his head in. “The Avatar is looking for you. Should I send him in?”

“No,” Zuko said, standing up. “I’m leaving.”

~~~

The next two days were a mess of meetings and messenger hawks and tough negotiations. Plans were put in place for Zuko to travel around to the troops, delivering their orders in person. It would take two months to visit them all, but it was something he needed to do.

Toph opted out of the trip; she’d already been in the air enough for a lifetime, she said. Suki would wait for the Kyoshi Warriors to arrive, and train with them to better serve in the palace itself. Katara wanted to spend time researching the governments from before Sozin, as well as waiting for her father and Bato to arrive with their belongings. Mai agreed to stay and act as Fire Lord again.

So Zuko, Sokka, and Aang loaded Appa’s saddle and left the palace a week after Zuko visited his father. Their first stop was the part of the Earth Kingdom most hurt by the day of the comet, so they had a full day of flying ahead of them.

“Just like old times, eh?” Sokka said, lounging in Appa’s saddle as they ate lunch. “Traveling around on Appa, doing really dangerous things.” He pointed at Zuko. “You’ve got a title now, though.”

“I had a title before. Crown prince.”

“A more exciting title, then.”

“So do you,” Aang said. “You’re an ambassador.”

“Ambassador Sokka,” he said dreamily, staring up at the clouds. “Has a nice ring to it. Maybe I’ll end up in the history books.”

“You’re the mastermind behind both the Day of Black Sun and the defeat of the airships,” Zuko said with a small laugh. “Of course you’re going to be in history books.”

Sokka waved his hand dismissively at Zuko. “Yeah, yeah, I mean besides that.”

“Besides literally saving the world?”

Sokka just laughed and finished his food. “Well, I think it’s my turn to steer. Come on, Momo.” He and the lemur moved up to the reins; Momo curled up in Sokka’s lap and went to sleep.

“Speaking of history,” Aang said, finishing up his meal and laying back on the saddle. “We need to talk about how this is all going to be taught. How schools are going to be.”

Yet another thing Zuko hadn’t even considered. It had been so long since he was in school. “That’s going to be hard. There are so many schools in the Fire Nation.”

“I know, I went to one for a few days.”

Zuko blinked. “You what?”

Aang laughed. “After Katara brought me back but before the Day of Black Sun, we were hiding out and stole some Fire Nation clothes, and mine were a school uniform. I got caught, they thought I was skipping school. I made a portrait of Ozai out of noodles.”

“I still have that!” Sokka said over his shoulder. “It’s a fine piece of artwork!”

“Anyway, it was all propaganda. The teacher asked us when Sozin battled the Air Nomads, but we never even had an army! We’ve gotta fix that.”

Zuko remembered how much he had learned in school that turned out to be false. He had gotten it doubly bad, because he was supposed to rule the nation, so his teachers made him memorize more than most. And because of Aang’s disappearance, even researching the past Avatars right after being banished didn’t conflict with anything he’d learned in school.

“Aang, tell Zuko about the dance party.”

Zuko blinked as Sokka and Aang laughed. “The _what_?”

“In music class, I got in trouble for dancing,” Aang said. “So I threw a dance party in the cave where we were staying. It was a lot of fun, too. But then the popular guy who thought I was hitting on his girlfriend showed up with the headmaster, so we had to leave that town.”

“You guys got up to some crazy shenanigans,” Zuko said, smiling.

“You don’t know half of it.” Aang pointed at Sokka. “He said his name was Wang Fire. When I got in trouble, the headmaster said I had to bring my parents, so Sokka and Katara pretended to be my parents. And do you know what he said Katara’s name was?” Zuko shook his head. “Sapphire. Sapphire Fire.”

Zuko threw his head back in laughter. How could Sokka be the smartest person he knew, and also the dumbest person he knew?

“All right, Mr. Pippinpaddleopsicopolis,” Sokka said from Appa’s head. “Not all of us can come up with tongue-twister names on the spot.”

The three of them laughed, and Zuko almost felt his worries disappear. This was what he needed: not the trip, or giving orders, or even outsmarting his sister. He just needed time to goof around, and there was no one better for that than the two boys coming on the trip with him.

“When I was in hiding,” Zuko said, “I said my name was Lee. And Uncle was Mushi. Not as exciting.”

“Master Piandao told me I should have called myself Lee,” Sokka said. “I told him my name was Sokka and he figured out I was from the Water Tribes because of that.”

“You studied with Piandao?” Zuko sat up straighter.

“Of course, where do you think I got my space sword?” He sighed longingly. “I miss the space sword.”

“What happened to it, again?”

“I lost it on the day of the comet. It fell somewhere in the Earth Kingdom, and I haven’t had the chance to search for it yet.”

“I’m sure we’ll find it, Sokka,” Aang said. He turned over on his side, yawning. “I’m going to nap for a bit. Try not to make too much noise.”

Zuko also lay back in the saddle. “A nap sounds great.”

“Oh, sure, leave me with just the two animals to talk to,” Sokka said. “Thanks a bunch, guys.”

“No problem, Sokka,” Aang laughed.

~~~

Zuko and Aang had only been asleep for about an hour when Sokka woke them up.

“We’re here.”

The three of them watched the ground as they approached. The troops were camped in rows and rows of tents, covering a space larger than Sokka’s village. There were campfires and drilling exercises and a large tent that was probably a portable hospital.

Even though Aang had kept the fire from spreading after the comet, he couldn’t undo the scars on the land from the fire that raged. Zuko still felt overwhelmed with shame when he saw the damage his father caused.

They were greeted at the edge of camp by the ranking lieutenant, who knelt and bowed for Zuko but barely acknowledged Sokka and Aang.

“My Lord, we weren’t expecting you.”

“I know.” He looked around. “Why are you having them drill?”

The lieutenant paused. “In case of an attack, my Lord.”

“Right. About that. Gather all your officers in your tent.”

The lieutenant scurried off. Zuko looked back at Aang and Sokka.

“This is weird,” Sokka said. “Like, to think how many of these guys tried to kill me.”

“You get used to it,” Aang said sadly.

The three of them walked through the camp, stopping every now and then for a soldier to recognize Zuko and bow. He didn’t think he would ever get used to that. A few other soldiers recognized Aang and sprung to their feet, but no one attacked them.

The lieutenant’s tent was very crowded when they arrived, but the officers parted to let them through to the front. They all bowed, which was hard in such a tight space.

“Thank you for coming on such short notice,” Zuko said. “I always appreciate punctuality. I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m here unannounced.” He looked at Aang. “We have reason to believe that there are people in the Palace City who are working against me, trying to undermine my decisions and restart the war. Messenger hawks can’t be trusted anymore. So I’m here to give you your orders directly.”

“My Lord,” the lieutenant said, “that’s highly unusual.”

“Well, we’re living in highly unusual times. When you all joined the army, and especially as you rose up through the ranks, I know you took oath after oath to serve the Fire Lord, isn’t that right? And I can see from your faces that you probably served under my grandfather as well as my father. I know you have no problem adapting to a new Fire Lord. So I’m asking you to adapt to me, because I’m your Fire Lord now, and I have ended the war.”

The tent was silent. They could hear soldiers laughing and singing and drilling outside.

“Your orders are simple,” Zuko continued. “There is no more war, so there is no more need for drilling. Effective immediately, your orders are to assist in the cleaning up and rebuilding of this part of the Earth Kingdom. Any land that you once patrolled or controlled, you are now responsible for.”

“My Lord--”

“I’m not finished.” The lieutenant shrunk back. “This will feel uncomfortable. I understand that. Unlearning a lifetime of propaganda is uncomfortable. But this is what I order you to do. This is how we will redeem ourselves to the world. Are there any questions?”

The officers looked at each other. “What if the Earth Kingdom citizens don’t want us to help?” one asked.

Zuko thought for a second. He knew the Earth Kingdom wouldn’t easily accept help from the same soldiers that had been trying to destroy them a few months ago. “I suppose you’ll just have to tell them that you are following the orders of the Fire Lord. If they really don’t want you to help, then you can move on to the next town. But you can see all around you that this land needs cleaning.”

“What if our soldiers don’t comply?”

“Is that a likely possibility? Do you have insubordinate soldiers?”

“Well, no, but--”

“Then it won’t be a problem. I’m sure you know how to keep them in line.” He looked around at them. “And if anyone attacks any of the towns you are meant to protect, he will be considered an enemy of the state. Is that clear?”

“Yes, my Lord.”

“The final order is this,” Zuko continued. “You are not to change course or follow any new orders unless I deliver them to you in person. Messenger hawks aren’t secure, so even if it looks like an official document and has my seal, disregard it. I plan on coming around every few months to check up on progress, but if something urgent arises, you can reach me by messenger hawk in the palace. Dismissed.”

The officers filed out of the tent; the boys could hear them shouting orders to gather the soldiers together. The news would not be well met, but it was something Zuko needed done.

“That was pretty painless,” Sokka said. “I thought they would’ve raised a bigger fuss.”

“They swore oaths to obey the Fire Lord,” Zuko explained. “They don’t really have a choice, because breaking those oaths is a lifelong prison sentence.”

“That’s harsh.”

“I didn’t make the rules. And honestly? As long as there’s concern of a coup, I’m not changing them, either. Come on, let’s get back to Appa and find a place to make camp.”

The rows of tents were deserted now. All the soldiers were gathered in the surrounding plains, hearing the news. Zuko held his breath as they passed through the camp to Appa, but nothing bad happened. There was no cry of rebellion, no surge of angry firebenders coming to attack them.

“Hey, can I talk to you?” Sokka said quietly when they reached Appa.

“Sure.” Zuko followed Sokka away from Aang. “What’s up?”

“We’re camping here for the night, right?” Zuko nodded. “So...can you help me look for the space sword?”

He blinked. It made sense that, since this was the initial attack point of the airships, that Sokka’s sword would be around here somewhere. But it would be nearly impossible to find. A black sword amongst the black, burned remains of forests and plains?

“I know it sounds stupid,” Sokka said, even though Zuko hadn’t said anything. “And I know we’re probably not going to find it. But I can’t be here and not try, you know? That sword means a lot to me.”

“Yeah, I’ll help you. Why aren’t you bringing Aang?”

“He’d probably try to talk me out of it. Say it’s too difficult, that I’m wasting my time. Besides, I spent a year travelling with the kid. Maybe I want to hang out with someone my own age.”

Zuko shrugged. They rejoined Aang, who was starting to gather dinner together, interrupted by Momo stealing bites here and there. Zuko and Sokka gathered some logs to sit on while they ate. Feeling a slight chill in the air, Zuko also set up a campfire. Aang took the smaller log once he had his food, forcing Zuko and Sokka to share the larger one.

“We only have to do that...a million more times,” Aang said. “Shouldn’t be hard, right?”

“It’ll definitely be interesting,” Zuko replied. “I can’t even imagine what my ancestors would say if they saw me. I’m the Fire Lord, and I’m travelling on a flying bison with the Avatar and having food that wasn’t prepared by a team of cooks. By choice. Because I want to.”

“Yeah, I imagine they’re all pretty fussy,” Sokka said. “Fire Nation people seem like that.”

“Especially after the war started. We were so great that we could conquer entire nations. Why should we walk anywhere?” Zuko chuckled. “My attendants wouldn’t even let me walk to Mai’s house from the palace, before the Day of Black Sun. It was, like, a two-minute walk, and that’s if you’re walking slowly.”

“I bet that made it hard for you to be on the run,” Aang said.

“At first. Uncle took to it more quickly, but he takes to everything pretty quickly. Plus, he had a lot of experience with humility.”

Sokka elbowed Zuko and smiled. “You mean you need us to humiliate you? To give you more experience?”

Zuko rolled his eyes. “No, I can do without it. I think I’m humble enough.”

“The monks made sure we were never hungry or anything,” Aang said thoughtfully, “but we obviously emphasized a more simple life. Possessions were nice, but they kept your focus on the physical, and sometimes you needed to focus on the spiritual. The only reason I care about possessions now is...well, there aren’t any left. I’ll never get another authentic Air Nomad glider again.”

“Didn’t they keep extras?” Sokka asked. “Or were they all made to order?”

“There were a few extras, but--” He looked up at Zuko, who couldn’t keep eye contact. “I’m pretty sure the Fire Nation destroyed them.”

“Yeah. My great-grandfather destroyed everything. The Air Nomads, the sky bisons, everything.”

“Except me.” Aang grinned. “And I hope you know, Zuko, I don’t hold you accountable for what your ancestors did. There’s a lot of pain that I carry, but it’s not your fault.”

“I know. I appreciate that.” Zuko finished his food and stretched his legs out. “Did you want to head out, Sokka?”

“Where are you guys going?”

Sokka stood up, brushing crumbs off his lap; Momo launched himself at Sokka’s feet to catch anything he could. “Just for a walk. Exploring. We’ll be back by nightfall.”

They waved at Aang as they headed toward the coast. It would be nearly impossible to find the sword. Zuko figured Sokka knew that. This part of the Earth Kingdom looked pretty uniform, and he had been on an airship fighting for his life. There was no way he could remember exactly where it fell. But Zuko wouldn’t argue with him. This is something Sokka needed, just like the trip to the Boiling Rock.

“Are you always this quiet?” Sokka asked after they’d been walking for a few minutes. Zuko had merely been listening as Sokka talked about anything and everything under the sun.

“Well, you don’t leave a lot of room for conversation,” Zuko said with a smirk. “Do you ever stop to breathe?”

“Oh, shush.” Sokka elbowed him and laughed. “There’s gotta be something you like to talk about.”

“Not really.”

Sokka paused. They had reached a clearing, and the pillars of rock were within walking distance. Zuko could only imagine what it was like, watching Aang and Ozai fighting amongst these rocks, especially after Aang’s Avatar state was opened again. Zuko still had only ever seen him in it a handful of times.

“I thought I was going to die,” Sokka said, suddenly somber. “On the airships. I was on my back, and my leg was broken, and I was holding Toph with one hand. I can’t imagine how scared she was.” He absently reached down to his leg.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, it just...sometimes still hurts. It was a bad break.” He sighed and then smiled. “Enough about that. Let’s look for my space sword.”

With much less enthusiasm, Zuko followed Sokka through the landscape. It was truly the most impossible task Zuko had ever been assigned, including searching for the Avatar at thirteen. They could barely tell the trees apart from the ground; everything was black and charred. A black sword would blend in perfectly.

But they looked anyway. The shadows grew longer as the sun approached the horizon, and they kept looking. This sword obviously meant a lot to Sokka. Zuko could sympathize. No one understood his search for the Avatar, either.

“This sucks!” Sokka said forlornly, kicking a charred tree, which broke apart. “I wanted to find it. I thought bringing you would help.”

“How? I’m just one guy, and I don’t even have two good eyes.”

“You can find anything.” Zuko raised an eyebrow. “You found Aang, you kept finding us all over the world, you even found Appa. You’re the finding guy.”

“Well, I’m sorry, Sokka. If we had more time, maybe…”

“But you’re the Fire Lord. You’re the most politically powerful person on the planet. Surely you can get people to look for it.”

Zuko tilted his head. It was rare to see Sokka this undone. “This is about more than the sword, isn’t it?”

Sokka sighed and turned his back to Zuko. “The sword...I made it when I was in a really tough place. I’d been travelling with the best benders in the world, and I’m just a normal guy. I can’t do anything like that. I can’t make things fly or drown people without touching them or...anything. The sword is my thing that I can do.”

Zuko put a hand on Sokka’s shoulder. “You’re a lot more than a guy with a sword. You’re a great strategist, and you’re brave--”

“You sound like Master Piandao.” Sokka smiled. Zuko’s hand was still on his shoulder. “He said I had the heart of a lion-turtle.”

“You do.”

Sokka turned, put his hand on Zuko’s upper arm, and nodded. “I guess I know that. But I feel like, without that sword, it’ll always be a little less...real. I don’t feel whole without it.”

They kept eye contact for a moment, and then Sokka looked up at the sky. His hand dropped from Zuko’s arm.

“We should get back to Aang,” he said. “It’s almost dark.”

Neither of them moved for a moment. Sokka looked out over the burnt landscape, and Zuko looked at Sokka. Before he had joined the group, he had always underestimated Sokka. He wasn’t a bender, so he couldn’t possibly be that powerful, and he wasn’t a threat. But he was a lot more powerful and dangerous than he gave himself credit for. 

Wordlessly, the two of them started back towards the campsite. It was easy to find, even after a couple hours of searching for a sword, because it was close to the Fire Nation army camp, which was very bright and very loud.

“Thanks,” Sokka said when Aang was back in view. “For helping me. Even though I think we both knew it was pointless.”

“It wasn’t pointless,” Zuko said. “You would’ve hated yourself if we hadn’t looked. And you’re right, I do find things really often. I’m sorry we couldn’t find it today.”

“How was your walk?” Aang asked, yawning.

“Fine,” Sokka said, smiling back at Zuko. “I’m tired, let’s get some rest before we leave.”

The other boys agreed, and they gathered their sleeping bags and lined them up beside Appa. Aang, like usual, was asleep within minutes, and Sokka shortly after. Also like usual, Zuko lay on his back staring at the stars. It wasn’t the noise from the army keeping him up.

It was Sokka.

Zuko wanted so badly to find that sword. He understood feeling powerless and less important. Ozai had made sure of that. They both had a prodigy for a younger sister, and Zuko wasn’t sure if it was worse or better that Sokka and Katara were close where he and Azula were not. At least, they weren’t anymore. It had been a long time since Zuko considered himself close to his sister.

Sokka made a noise and shifted in his sleep. Zuko looked over at him, and decided that he was going to find that space sword if it took the entire Fire Nation army. Seconds later, he decided he would keep it secret from Sokka until and unless he found the sword. There was no reason to get his hopes up, and the thought of surprising him with something so important filled Zuko with a quiet excitement. Like getting someone a gift they really want for their birthday, and watching them open it.

He fell asleep smiling.

~~~

Over the next few weeks, the three of them travelled around the Earth Kingdom, visiting towns and military bases to speak to the soldiers and tell them the new plan. Most of them put up very little argument. Some were even glad to actually have concrete orders again. Zuko also made a few visits to the Earth Kingdom citizens in the occupied towns, speaking to them about what was going to happen. Despite what Toph had warned, the only resistance he faced was asking why it took them so long.

There were so many occupied towns, and so many military bases, and so many speeches. Each day blended into the next. They woke up, ate while Appa flew, landed in some nameless Earth Kingdom precinct, spoke to the soldiers, ate some more, went to bed, woke up the next day, repeat. Over and over and over. Even Sokka ran out of snarky comments to make after a while.

After three weeks, they arrived in a town that Zuko recognized. His heart dropped.

“What’s wrong?” Sokka asked as they dismounted Appa.

He didn’t realize his shock was showing on his face. “I’ve been here before. When Uncle and I were on the run.”

“Did you...murder someone or something?” Sokka sounded both anxious and curious about the answer.

“No, I...there was a family that fed us. Right after we were declared criminals. Uncle ate some weird flower, he thought it would be tea but it made him break out in hives.” Zuko felt his hair, which had been so short then. “This family took us in, gave Uncle medicine, and fed us.”

“So, why do you look like you’re scared they’ll hunt you down?”

Zuko looked at the ground. “I stole their ostrich-horse. After dinner.”

He jumped slightly when he felt pressure on his shoulder: Sokka’s hand. “You’ll be fine. You don’t have to visit them.”

Zuko looked into Sokka’s eyes. “I do. I have to make it right.”

Sokka’s eyes softened, but before either of them could say anything, Aang cleared his throat. “We’re here for a reason,” he said, “and it isn’t just apologizing to everyone Zuko hurt.”

They nodded and headed into the town to find the army’s ranking officer.

~~~

After dinner that night, Zuko slipped away while Sokka and Aang played some card game. He took out the Fire Lord headpiece and let his hair down. He was nervous. More nervous than he had been for a long time. He wanted to apologize, and he knew they might never forgive him, but he hoped they wouldn’t hate him. Song was the first person to show him what the Fire Nation had done to the Earth Kingdom.

He stood outside the gate for a moment before approaching the door. There were lights inside the house, and it sounded like they were cleaning up after a meal. He remembered that sound from the meal he shared with them.

Shaking slightly, Zuko knocked on the door.

“Just a moment!” came a voice from inside. It was Song. Her footsteps came closer to the door, and then the door was open and there she was, standing right in front of him. She was as pretty as he remembered.

“Hi,” he said sheepishly.

“Lee? Is that you?” She was excited, and he realized she didn’t know who he really was. She stepped forward to hug him, but he put a hand up. “What’s wrong?”

“There are things I need to talk to you about. Would you care for a walk?”

They started walking through the town, which was settling down for the night. Zuko wasn’t sure how to begin explaining who he really was, and how sorry he was for what he’d done. How do you tell someone who had been so kind to you that you’re the son of the person who hurt her family?

“It’s a beautiful night,” Song said. “So much has changed since I saw you last.” She hesitated. “What happened to you? Where did you go? Did your father come back from the war?”

Zuko stopped walking and took a deep breath. “I lied to you about who I was. My name isn’t Lee, I’m not from the Earth Kingdom, and my father wasn’t technically fighting in the war.” She didn’t say anything, and he was afraid to look in her eyes. “My name is Zuko.”

“No,” she whispered, taking a step back. “Zuko as in...the Fire Lord?”

He nodded. “I’m sorry I lied to you. Things were complicated back then, I was on the run with my uncle because my sister and my father declared us traitors and put a bounty on our heads. And I’m...I’m so sorry for stealing your ostrich-horse.”

Song was quiet, but she didn’t run away or attack him, which he took as a good sign. He finally forced himself to look in her eyes, but he couldn’t read her expression.

“I completely understand if...I mean, I know who I am and who my family is and I know that you have every reason to hate me--”

“I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t?”

Song shook her head. “No. Obviously this is a shock, but...you did end the war. My father came home. When the war ended, the local prisoner camp was liberated.”

Despite having never met her father, Zuko was relieved. He knew the conditions of those camps. “I wanted to offer you something in return for stealing from you. Especially stealing after you had shown us such kindness.” He started to pull out a small bag of coins from his pockets.

Song stopped him, her hand lingering on his. “I don’t want you to pay us.” She brought her hand up to his face and, when he didn’t pull away, touched his scar. Zuko rarely let people touch his scar; he hadn’t let her get anywhere near it last time he was here. “I was right about everything before, wasn’t I? The Fire Nation hurt you.”

“My father,” he said. “It’s a long story.” When she moved slightly closer, he put a hand up. “I’m sorry, I have a girlfriend back home.”

Song chuckled. “Figures. Look, I appreciate your visit. I appreciate you telling the truth. I’m sure this wasn’t easy for you.”

“How can you forgive me so easily?”

“Because I know that everything you did, you did because you were in danger and desperate. And you’re here, apologizing and offering to compensate us. That means something.”

“I thought--I mean, the Fire Nation tore apart your family. And hurt you.” He motioned to her leg.

“Yes, but you didn’t.” She stepped forward before he could stop her, and kissed his cheek. His face grew hot. “I appreciate it, Zuko. I really do.”

An uncomfortable silence fell between them. Zuko couldn’t believe that things had turned out this well. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but it wasn’t this. He almost wanted her to be mad at him, because that was something he could understand.

“Why are you here?” Song asked. “I mean, in the town.”

“I’m going around to the entire army and giving them new orders. They’re going to be cleaning up everything that we destroyed.”

Song laughed, which confused Zuko even more. “So you’re literally having the army undo the damage they’ve caused, and you wonder why I forgive you?”

“Well, I can’t undo everything--”

She just shook her head and patted his arm. “Try to keep in touch, okay? I’ll send something to the Fire Nation palace so you know where to write. I have to get back to my family.”

Before she left, he took her hand and put the bag of coins in it. “I insist,” he said. “Things are going to be really weird for a while, until the Earth Kingdom’s economy recovers. Please, take it.”

She nodded, kissed his cheek again, and left. He touched his cheek gently, smiled, and walked back to Sokka and Aang. He felt a spring in his step, and a weight off his shoulders. If this is how all his apologies were going to go, he had nothing to worry about.

“Where were you?” Aang asked. “We were worried!”

“He was worried,” Sokka corrected. “I figured you could take care of yourself.”

Zuko laughed. “I went to apologize to that family. Repay them for stealing from them.”

Sokka narrowed his eyes. “You look happier. That’s weird.”

Zuko waved his hand dismissively and grabbed his sleeping bag. “I’m going to sleep. Good night, guys.”

~~~

Spirits lifted by the positive experience with Song, Zuko felt less bored as they kept touring through the Earth Kingdom. They encountered people from all walks of life, some of whom were former Earth Kingdom soldiers, some of whom had never seen a firebender in their lives. Zuko realized how good this was as an experience that would make him a better leader. When else would he have this chance to talk with Earth Kingdom citizens, hear their concerns and be able to act on them? He started to believe it when Sokka told him that he was doing a good job. At first it had felt annoying, but now he realized it was the same sentiment as him finding Sokka’s space sword.

The thought filled him with an emotion, but he didn’t know what it was.

The only time they came across a prison camp, Zuko was shocked to see that there were still prisoners. While he hadn’t explicitly ordered the prisoners to be released, he assumed that his soldiers would understand: the end of the war meant no more prisoners of war. He grilled the prison camp warden and demanded the immediate release of the entire population.

“But, my Lord,” the warden protested, “if I do that, they’ll riot. Who knows what they’ll do to us.”

“If they’re full of so much rage, what have you done to deserve it?” Zuko snapped. “Release them. Now. Give them their belongings, give them money, and let them go.”

“Give them money? My Lord, we barely have enough to pay our soldiers!”

“Then I will have more money sent here, but the prisoners are going to get money first. Am I clear? Or do I need to appoint a new warden who will do what I ask?”

The warden shook his head sheepishly. He left, and Zuko took a deep breath.

“You can be scary when you’re threatening them,” Sokka said, but he didn’t sound scared. He sounded more...intrigued.

“Sorry.”

“No, I’m not complaining. It’s just weird to be on this side of it.”

Zuko led them out to the prison camp, watching as various prisoners emerged with confused looks on their faces. The soldiers were grumbling and cursing as they gave the prisoners clothes and a few gold pieces. Zuko realized it was a big ask, for them to forgo their pay to set free the prisoners they had been ordered to guard for so long. He hoped it wouldn’t come back to bite him in the butt. He made a mental note to give these soldiers twice their normal salary.

“You’re going to make a lot of families really happy,” Aang said, nudging Zuko. “I hope you send out more orders like this.”

“I’ve just told my whole army not to accept orders unless I give them in person,” Zuko said, putting his hands over his face. “That’s going to take forever.”

“Excuse me.”

Zuko lowered his hands, and his heart skipped a beat. One of the freed prisoners stood before him, and despite his weight loss, Zuko knew who it was.

“Gansu,” he said breathlessly. He had no idea how much the man knew, but he knew the headpiece was in his hair. There was no hiding who he was now.

“I’d greet you, but I realize you never told me your name.” Behind Gansu stood a teenager, and Zuko realized that must be Sensu. He looked a lot like Lee.

“I’m so sorry, sir,” Zuko said, bowing his head. “I...would like you to come with me and my friends so I can explain things.”

“Dad, you know the Fire Lord?” Sensu asked.

“Apparently I do,” Gansu replied, not breaking eye contact with Zuko. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to hear what you have to say, especially since you just freed us. Lead the way.”

Zuko shook his head at Sokka, who looked very confused, and led the group away from the prison camp. They sat beneath a tree, Sokka and Aang on either side of Zuko.

“Gansu,” Zuko started, “I have a lot to say and I hope you will listen to it before responding. First and foremost, I never meant to hurt you or your family. You showed me more kindness than I deserved, and I regret what happened. But I promise you, I made sure Lee was safe before I left. And Sela, too.”

“I suppose that is something to appreciate. I just don’t understand why you lied, and why you needed our help in the first place.”

Zuko sighed. “It’s a long story, but my father declared me a traitor, and I had to be on the run. I knew I couldn’t reveal who I was, both because I was Fire Nation and because I was the Fire Lord’s son. I knew people would hate me, and hurt me, and probably kill me. I lied because I felt I didn’t have a choice.”

Gansu nodded. “It’s a long way to our home, Sensu. We should be going. Thank you for your time, Fire Lord.” The two men got to their feet.

“Wait.” Zuko stood up quickly. “I can take you. Please allow me to take you and your son home. It’s the least I can do.”

“Zuko, we have to be in Ba Sing Se in two days,” Aang said. “We can’t afford a detour right now.”

“Aang, please,” Zuko said, turning to the Avatar. “I told you there were things I did in the Earth Kingdom that I wasn’t proud of. Hurting this family is top of the list.”

“Let him, Aang,” Sokka said. “He needs this.”

Zuko looked gratefully at Sokka, who winked.

“All right,” Gansu said. “But how are we getting there? Do you have some sort of royal procession?”

Aang grinned. “Have you ever been on a flying bison before?”

~~~

On Appa, the trip to Gansu’s house only took two hours. It was a very awkward ride, because Zuko didn’t feel fully comfortable around the man. He knew Gansu was still angry, even if he didn’t show it. And he had reason to be. Zuko had taken advantage of his kindness, and could have gotten Lee arrested and thrown into the army.

Sokka kept the trip alive with jokes and stories of their various adventures. Sensu enjoyed the stories very much, and had a million questions for Aang. Both of them were excited to meet the Avatar, and Aang was more than happy to oblige them.

They landed Appa at the edge of the property, making all the farm animals start yelling. Zuko and Aang climbed off Appa and started towards the house, when the door opened and Sela came out.

Zuko had taken the Fire Lord headpiece out, but it didn’t matter. Sela knew who he was.

“What are you doing here?” she asked in a low voice. He could see Lee peek out from behind her. “Haven’t you done enough damage?”

Zuko stopped a few feet from the door, knelt on the ground, and bowed as low as he could. “I am so, so sorry, Sela,” he said, his voice wavering. “What happened was wrong, and I’m sorry for it all. I shouldn’t have lied to you, and I shouldn’t have given Lee the knife. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of your kindness.”

“You don’t seriously expect me to believe you?” She laughed sharply.

“No, I don’t.” He looked up at her, remaining on his knees. “I fully accept that you may never forgive me. And that’s what I deserve. But I hope I can bring you some comfort.” He motioned to Appa, where Sokka was helping Gansu and Sensu to the ground.

“DAD!” Lee shouted, bolting from behind his mother and jumping into his father’s arms. “And Sensu! I missed you so much!”

The three of them hugged tightly, exchanging shouts of glee, but Zuko didn’t stop looking at Sela. Her eyes were filled with tears.

“I have ended the war,” Zuko said. “I’m ordering the soldiers to assist in the clean-up and rebuilding of the Earth Kingdom. And I wanted to make sure these two got home safely.”

“It’s been a long time since my family has been together,” she said through her tears. “When Gansu left, I knew there was a possibility he’d be captured too, but I hoped it wouldn’t happen. And then it did. You have no idea the pain your kind has caused to my family.” She sighed. “And I don’t know if forgiveness is possible. But thank you for bringing them home.”

Zuko bowed again and got to his feet. His own eyes were glassy and tearful. He felt someone tug on his sleeve; he looked down to see Lee at his feet, looking both sheepish and happy.

“Thanks for bringing my brother home,” he said. “And my dad.”

“It was the least I could do,” Zuko said. “I’m sorry I lied to you.”

Lee nodded, smiled, and ran back to his father.

Rather than risk overstaying his welcome, Zuko went back to Appa and climbed up into the saddle. Sokka climbed in next to him, and Aang took the reins. They took off, and Zuko wiped his eyes.

“Are you okay?” Sokka asked.

“Yeah.” He sighed. “I met them when I was away from Uncle. It was a really hard time for me. Gansu was so kind to me. He didn’t make me answer questions about my name or past or anything. And Lee...I felt almost like he was a brother I never had. He said I reminded him of his brother.”

“Yeah, I guess I can see it,” Sokka said. “I think what you’re doing is really noble. Honorable, even.”

“Ha ha.”

“No, I’m serious. It takes a lot to admit that you’ve hurt someone, and it takes even more to apologize for it. And you don’t even expect them to forgive you.” Sokka smiled. “You’ve always had your honor, Zuko. Your dad was a butt-face for making you think you didn’t.”

Zuko was too overcome with emotion to respond, so he just nodded.

The air got colder as they kept flying, both because of their altitude and the setting sun. Aang insisted on flying for a bit longer than they had intended, to make up for lost time. Sokka yawned and shivered next to Zuko, so he grabbed a blanket and held it up.

“You’re awesome,” Sokka said, pulling the blanket around him.

Zuko grabbed a blanket for himself, wrapped it around his shoulders, and sat next to Sokka again. Sokka scooted a couple inches closer, almost as if he didn’t realize he was doing it. Zuko didn’t stop him. He felt that strange emotion again. Shaking his head, he closed his eyes.

He could feel Sokka’s body against his.

~~~

By the time they reached Ba Sing Se, Zuko realized that he hoped Jin was still in the city. Even if he wasn’t going to ask her to join his council, even if she would never forgive him, he wanted to see her. She was one of the few points of happiness from his time in the city. Indeed, she was the only point of happiness from his time in the city.

He also knew that Iroh was back in Ba Sing Se, and he missed his uncle.

“It feels weird to be back here,” Aang said, landing Appa near the palace. “After everything that’s happened here.”

“Zuko!”

They looked up to see Iroh jogging towards them, a big smile on his face. Zuko ran to meet him and hug him tightly.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” Iroh said, pulling back to wave at Aang and Sokka. “What brings you out here?”

“Zuko’s doing some really noble things,” Aang said. “Honorable things.”

Iroh smiled and put a hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “I always knew you would help restore the Fire Nation’s honor as well as your own. What are you planning?”

“I’m giving orders to the army, to clean up what we’ve destroyed. Especially this city.” He looked around. “Although it isn’t as bad as I was expecting.”

“It’s worse in other parts of the city, trust me. They haven’t managed to rebuild the walls yet.”

“Is Master Piandao still here?” Sokka asked. “I know he was here for the comet.”

“He has returned to the Fire Nation,” Iroh replied. “All of the White Lotus have dispersed to their homes.”

“Who’s leading the city, anyway?” Aang asked. “I know it’s not occupied anymore.”

“A small council of Earth Kingdom generals. Some of them were on the Council of Five before the fall of Ba Sing Se, and others are from surrounding areas who no longer have to fight the Fire Nation.”

“We need to see them. And the Fire Nation troops outside.”

“Zuko, there are no more Fire Nation troops outside the city. Or inside the city.”

“What do you mean?”

Iroh looked between Aang and Zuko. “You don’t know what happened to them?”

“Uncle, quit stalling.”

Iroh laughed. “Relax, nephew. What I mean is, they surrendered. They aren’t Fire Nation troops anymore. They’ve already started to clean up the city.”

Zuko exchanged a look with Aang. “They did this willingly?”

“More or less. The Earth Kingdom troops gave them a choice between prison and community service.”

“Well, that makes this the easiest stop yet,” Sokka said. “Maybe we can relax for a few days. Sleep in an actual bed for a few nights.”

“I do have things I want to do in the city,” Zuko said. “What do you say, Aang?”

“There aren’t any other Fire Nation troops you need to talk to around here? At all?”

Zuko shrugged. He was so very tired of giving the same speech over and over again. He was tired of having the same discussion with lieutenants and generals and other officers.

“I think we’ve covered enough of them,” Zuko said. “And if what Uncle said is true, I don’t have to worry about the troops here. I’m with Sokka. I want a real bed for a bit.” He turned to Iroh. “I was meaning to ask you something. Do you...remember Jin?”

“The girl who took you on a date?”

Zuko flushed and looked down. “Yeah. Is she...still around? Is she in the city?”

Iroh chuckled. “Yes, she is. She still comes by the Jasmine Dragon, and she asks about you.”

Sokka elbowed Zuko. “Look at you, getting all the girls. Should Mai be jealous?”

“Shush,” he said, his face hot. “I’m going to see her. Do you know where she lives?”

“I’ll take you to her.”

“Aang, you and Sokka should get some rest. I’ll meet you back at the palace when I’m through.”

Zuko followed Iroh away from the palace, looking around as they walked. The city got worse the farther they strayed from the palace. Buildings were destroyed or burned. Piles of Fire Nation tanks were still littered around, most of them covered in drawings. But people were laughing, children were playing, and it looked livelier than any city or town Zuko had been to on this trip.

“It’s been slow-going,” Iroh said. “Rebuilding the city. But it’s free, and that has done wonders for the morale of the citizens.”

“What about the Earth King?” Zuko asked.

Iroh shrugged. “I don’t know where he ended up, or if he’ll ever want to return. I also don’t know how things are going to land out here. But the important thing is, whatever happens, it will be what the Earth Kingdom people want. They won’t be occupied anymore.”

Zuko couldn’t see how anyone could stand living here, with all the constant reminders of the war and the siege and the occupation. Especially people who had been hurt by the Fire Nation.

His stomach was in knots about what Jin would say to him.

“Here we are,” Iroh said, motioning towards the Jasmine Dragon.

“I thought you were taking me to where she lived?”

“Oh, I don’t know where she lives. I just know where she works.” Iroh grinned.

“You hired her?” Zuko wasn’t sure how to react. He was excited to finally see her again, and nervous.

“Well, I had to replace you, didn’t I? And she knew all of our menu. It was a perfect fit.”

The two of them stepped into the tea shop, which was just as busy as it was when Zuko left the city. Busier, even. People saw Iroh and waved at him. Either they didn’t recognize Zuko, or they were ignoring him. He wasn’t sure which he would prefer. Some of the customers he recognized. Most of them were new.

“Jin,” Iroh said, approaching her as she was cleaning up a table. Zuko’s heart skipped a beat. “I have a bit of a surprise for you.”

“What is it?” Jin asked, looking up. Her smile faltered when she saw Zuko. Her eyes travelled from his face to the Fire Lord headpiece and back again.

“Hi, Jin,” Zuko said, his face red. “It’s good to see you again.”

“Would you mind if I took my break?” Jin said to Iroh. When he nodded, she took off her apron, grabbed Zuko’s hand, and pulled him through the shop and into the alley behind the building.

“Look--”

“Don’t say anything,” Jin said. Her expression was soft, but stern. But then she stepped closer, putting her hands on the sides of his face.

“Jin, I can’t--” Zuko was cut off when she kissed him. He let her for a moment, and then pulled away. “I have a girlfriend at home. And that’s not...the worst thing I have to say today.”

Jin nodded. “I don’t suppose I’m surprised by that. You’re very attractive.”

He flushed, looking at his hands. “My name isn’t Lee. I was never in a travelling circus. I’ve never juggled in my life.”

“I kind of guessed that last part.”

He looked back in her eyes. “I’m a firebender.”

“I know that, silly.” She laughed at his shocked expression. “I may not have opened my eyes when you lit up the fountain, but I’d have to be an idiot to not realize what happened.”

“You knew? But...you didn’t tell anyone. You knew and you kept it secret.”

“You were hurting, a lot. Anyone could see that. Whatever your story was, I could tell that turning you in would end badly.”

Zuko couldn’t believe it. He had thought he was so sneaky. Then again, lighting up the fountain for her was very risky. She had shown him a lot of kindness, and he wanted to repay it. “My name is Zuko. I’m the Fire Lord. Back then, I was crown prince, on the run because my father set a bounty on my head.”

“I guess this means your uncle isn’t really named Mushi, right?” She smiled. “Look, I know things are complicated. I don’t want you to think that this absolves you of everything. But I like you for who you are as a person. And that hasn’t changed.”

Zuko chuckled. “It’s actually changed a lot, since then. I did a lot of bad things.”

“What do you want me to say, Zuko?”

“I don’t know.” He looked down the alley towards the busy streets. “I’ve been going around apologizing to a lot of the people I’ve hurt, and...no one is reacting like I expected. I was expecting people to be furious, to never forgive me. I’m a descendant of the people who caused so much pain and suffering in this part of the world. The whole world.”

Jin nodded. “But you are doing better things. Now that you’re Fire Lord, you ended the war. You’re apologizing. You’re doing all the things that will redeem you, and your nation.”

“I’m used to people being angry with me. But...I guess I have to get used to people forgiving me, too.” He smiled. “And you’re right, my uncle isn’t Mushi. His name is Iroh. But don’t tell anyone. He likes this secret identity.”

“Will you be coming back to Ba Sing Se often?”

“I’m not sure yet. Things are really up in the air right now, with ending the war and getting the world back on its feet.”

Jin put her hand on Zuko’s upper arm, and his stomach fluttered. He wondered how things would have turned out if Azula hadn’t found out he was in Ba Sing Se. “Well, if you do, be sure to swing by the Jasmine Dragon. I’d love to see you.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. It was good to see you.”

She hugged him before slipping back into the shop. He stood in the alley for a moment before heading back to the palace.

So many things could have been different if Azula hadn’t found them. So many things would be better, and so many things would be worse. But if he hadn’t been in the palace that day, he wouldn’t have gone back to the Fire Nation, and without that, he never would have realized what he really wanted. He wouldn’t have joined the Avatar.

The walk back to the palace without Iroh was quieter. People were still going about their daily lives; children were playing, friends were chatting, and there was the constant sound of construction and earthbending.

Zuko couldn’t think of anyone else he needed to apologize to in person. Song, Jin, and Gansu’s family. All that was left was to return to the Fire Nation and go about dealing with the rest of the problems he had. With the army taken care of, he still had to deal with Azula, and his father, and rebuilding the government.

“There you are!”

Zuko looked up to see Sokka coming towards him, Momo perched on his shoulder. “Why aren’t you in the palace?” he asked as he drew level with Sokka. Momo moved to Zuko’s shoulder and licked his good ear.

“I spent some time there before the Earth Kingdom fell, and it has some bad memories. Plus, Ba Sing Se is a nice city, now that the Dai Li aren’t here.”

“That’s true.”

“Did you have a nice meeting with your girlfriend?” Sokka elbowed him.

“Shush, she’s not my girlfriend. And yeah. I did. It was nice to see her.” He smiled.

“How did you get so many girls while you were travelling?” Sokka asked with a laugh.

“I didn’t ‘get’ any of them,” Zuko protested, his face growing hot again. “Did you want to go have some tea at my uncle’s shop?”

“Sure. I’ve heard good things about the Jasmine Dragon.”

The two of them turned back the way Zuko came. Momo purred, licked Zuko’s ear again, and flew back towards the palace.

“How long were you guys in Ba Sing Se, anyway?” Sokka asked. “Before it all turned to mush, that is.”

“A couple weeks, I think. I can’t remember for sure. We spent some time in the Misty Palms Oasis, and got our fake passports there.”

“Wait, you were at the Misty Palms Oasis? So were we!” Sokka laughed. “You really do keep finding Aang no matter what.”

“Really? Wow.” Zuko laughed as well. “We met up with one of Uncle’s friends from the White Lotus. He used us as a distraction, there were a couple earthbenders there who wanted to turn us in for the bounty. So he made a big scene, and all the people in the place started fighting each other.”

“When we went,” Sokka said, “we met up with a professor from Ba Sing Se University, who told us about this great library that would have a map of the Fire Nation. That’s where we found out about the eclipse, in that library. But that’s also where Appa got stolen.”

“What happened to the professor?”

Sokka winced almost imperceptibly. “The library, it was a spirit library. Wan Shi Tong’s library.”

“You found Wan Shi Tong’s library!?” Zuko asked incredulously.

“You’ve heard of it? Well, yeah. We flew out on Appa into the desert. It was mostly buried in sand. When Wan Shi Tong figured out that we were using his knowledge to hurt other humans, he took the library away. Sunk it completely in the sand. The professor refused to leave.”

“Oh.” Zuko thought for a second. He had wanted to find Wan Shi Tong’s library, when he was starting his research into the Avatar. It would have answered a lot of questions he had. But he heard it was impossible to find. “Wait a second. I heard someone talking about a professor while we were there.”

“Oh, don’t tell me,” Sokka said with a laugh. “You almost found us there too?”

“I guess. And then we went to Full Moon Bay and crossed in one of the ferries. That’s where I met Jet.”

They reached the Jasmine Dragon and grabbed a small table at the edge of the room. Zuko couldn’t see Iroh, but he was probably either in the kitchen or else he had gone home. It was still busy, but when Zuko saw who would be waiting on them, he sighed.

“Well well well,” Jin said with a smile. “What can I get for you two gentlemen?”

“I’ll take a ginseng tea,” Sokka said.

“And for the Fire Lord?”

“How did you know--”

“Sokka, this is Jin,” Zuko said. “Jin, this is my friend Sokka. He was instrumental in helping us take down my father and win the war.”

“Good to meet you, Sokka.”

Sokka grinned at her. “And you. Zuko told us a lot about you.”

“He did? Well, I can’t imagine what he’d have to say.”

Zuko buried his face in his hands as the two of them laughed. “I’ll just have...whatever Uncle recommends. Thanks.”

Jin walked away with a smile, and Zuko could tell Sokka was staring at him.

“She’s really cute, Zuzu,” Sokka said, reaching across to pat his shoulder.

“Oh, be quiet.”

Jin brought their tea over, setting it in front of them. “Your uncle says hi, by the way. To both of you.”

Sokka and Zuko drank their tea in silence for a moment. Whatever Zuko was drinking, it was good. He couldn’t tell by taste alone, but he had gotten a good idea of different kinds of tea travelling with Iroh.

“How did you and Jet meet?” Sokka asked after a moment.

“Hm? Oh. On the ferry. He was with...uh...Longshot, and that girl. With the weird name.”

“Smellerbee.”

“Yeah. He asked me to join him in liberating some food from the captain.”

“Yeah, that sounds like Jet, all right.” Sokka laughed.

Zuko chuckled as well. “Yeah. He sure was something else. He figured out we were Fire Nation because he saw Uncle heating up some tea after the ferry. That’s why he got captured by the Dai Li, because he attacked me in the tea shop.”

“We met him in a forest in the Earth Kingdom,” Sokka said. “It wasn’t at all like how it happened in the play. We almost got attacked by a group of Fire Nation soldiers, and Jet and the Freedom Fighters saved us. I knew Jet was off right away, but Katara and Aang fell for his acting. I stopped him from drowning an entire Earth Kingdom town.”

Zuko furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”

“He was going to blow up a dam and let it wash away this town, because it was occupied by Fire Nation soldiers.” Sokka looked into his cup of tea. “He said it was a sacrifice, killing all those innocent people, because it would rid the valley of the Fire Nation. He didn’t seem to accept that it wouldn’t have freed anyone at all. No one is free if they’re dead.”

“I can see why he saw something of himself in me,” Zuko said. “I used to be that blinded to consequences. I still was, when I met him. It took a lot to get me to where I am now.”

“I know, I know, we were all there for your redemption.”

Zuko finished his tea. “Yeah. I wish I had chosen differently in the catacombs, though.”

Sokka tilted his head. Sometimes, Zuko felt like the whole gang could see straight into his soul. “Like you said, you had to go through all that bad stuff to figure out what was right.”

“I know. But I can’t help thinking about what would have happened if I hadn’t joined Azula.” He ran a hand through his hair. “When I chose sides, all I saw was Azula fighting both Aang and Katara. I didn’t know she had Dai Li agents hiding in the wings. If I had, I might have chosen differently. But she’s my little sister. Despite everything she’s done--”

“I get it.” Sokka smiled softly. “There were a lot of times that I disagreed with what Katara was doing, but I supported her because she’s my sister. Because we need to support each other. And yeah, Azula isn’t a good person by any stretch of the imagination, but...she is your sister.”

“Do you guys want a refill?” Jin asked.

“No, thanks,” Zuko said. “We’re probably going to head back to the palace soon. Thanks, though.”

“No problem.” When Zuko reached into his robes to get some coins, Jin put up a hand. “Former employees drink for free. And their friends too, of course.”

“Thanks!” Sokka said, grinning.

The two of them stood up from their table, waved at Jin, and walked back out onto the street.

“If it’s all the same to you,” Sokka said, “I’d rather not go back to the palace just yet. Especially if we’re going to be spending so much time in the palace in the Fire Nation.”

“Yeah, being stuck inside luxurious buildings with people waiting at your beck and call is just terrible.” Zuko laughed. “This is a huge city. We could spend some time exploring.”

“Any other girlfriends you’ve got hiding somewhere around here?” Sokka nudged him.

“Oh, be quiet.”

~~~

A few hours later, after wandering through the streets exchanging stories of their various travels through the Earth Kingdom, Sokka and Zuko returned to the palace. It was dinnertime, and they were both starving.

Zuko hadn’t felt this relaxed in a long time. Something about Sokka made him feel like he could let his guard down.

“Where were you two?” Aang asked when they came back. Momo chattered excitedly and jumped to Sokka’s shoulder.

“We went to my uncle’s tea shop,” Zuko said. “And then just wandered around a bit.”

“Sounds like fun. I’ve been stuck here discussing what’s going to happen moving forward.” Aang sighed. “Dealing with the fallout of several governments falling is really tough.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Well, you two jerkbenders can complain about it some other time,” Sokka said. “I want some food.”

The three of them made their way to the dining room. Aang told Zuko all about the various plans he had been discussing with the Earth Kingdom representatives. None of the plans sounded easy, but Zuko knew it wasn’t going to be easy. This was even harder than rebuilding the Fire Nation was going to be, because at least the Fire Nation still had a leader, and hadn’t been occupied for decades.

It had been nice, spending time with Sokka and not talking about the fate of the world. It was nice to forget about his duties sometimes.

“How long are we staying in Ba Sing Se?” Zuko asked.

“At least tomorrow,” Aang said. “I know you don’t really like being part of these talks, but as the leader of the former occupying nation, you do need to be part of the discussion. And they want to talk with you.”

Zuko sighed. “I was afraid you’d say that.”

“What, you don’t want to stay and see Jin anymore?” Sokka winked.

“Jin?” Aang looked between them, confused. “Isn’t that...the girl you went on a date with?”

“Yes. Be quiet, Sokka.”

“You met up with her? That’s great! How did it go? Was she mad about you being, you know, the Fire Lord?”

Sokka laughed.

“Can we talk about something else, please?”

“Aww, don’t be shy, Zuzu,” Sokka said. “Tell Aang all about her. She’s super cute, by the way. She served us tea at the Jasmine Dragon. And she was definitely still very into Zuko.”

“Look, I have Mai back in the Fire Nation, so can we not talk about this anymore? Maybe we can talk about the future government of the Earth Kingdom instead.”

“Wow, he’s really uncomfortable,” Aang said with a grin. “He hates talking about government stuff.”

The two boys laughed as Zuko sunk down in his chair, covering his face. He got enough teasing from Katara and Toph when they were travelling together, and when they were coming back from the Southern Water Tribe. He didn’t need it from Aang and Sokka all the time too.

“Oh, loosen up, Loser Lord,” Sokka said. “We’re just teasing you. And you make it so easy to tease you.”

“Yeah, you really do,” Aang said. “You let everything get to you so much. Just relax a little.”

“He could use a little cactus juice, I think,” Sokka said mischievously.

“Cactus juice?”

“Sokka,” Aang warned. “Katara would never let you do that.”

“What’s cactus juice?” Zuko glanced between the two of them.

“When we were in the desert after we lost Appa, and we didn’t have much water, Sokka drank some water from a cactus. And he was hallucinating and talking nonsense.”

“It was a lot of fun. That would definitely get Zuko to loosen up.”

“Absolutely not,” Aang said. “Katara would kill you, and then me for allowing it. Momo and I are going to bed, we’ll see you guys in the morning.”

Zuko watched as Aang left, still feeling very embarrassed about the whole Jin situation. It didn’t help that Sokka was staring at him. “What do you want?”

“I think we actually could get you to loosen up,” Sokka said. He scooted his chair closer to Zuko and leaned in to whisper in his ear. “I think the Fire Lord could probably get hold of some grown-up drinks, don’t you?”

Zuko’s eyes grew wide. “You want to get drunk?”

“Shh! Not so loud, Aang will hear us!” Sokka grinned conspiratorially. “It’ll be fun. Please?” He pouted and made his eyes go wide.

Zuko couldn’t say no to him when he did that. “Okay, okay, fine. Do you want to do it here in the palace, or go find some place else?”

“I think we should get the authentic experience.” He stood up quickly, pulling Zuko with him. “To a bar!”

Zuko followed him, feeling both nervous and vaguely excited. It would be nice to lose his inhibitions for a while, and this might just be the perfect thing for it. He knew he couldn’t get away with something like this in the Palace City, because there were guards everywhere, and all his citizens recognized him. But he might be able to get away without being recognized by that many people. That way, if he did something really stupid, no one would know about it.

Except Sokka. But Sokka, king of doing stupid things, wasn’t likely to judge him for it. He’d probably join in.

The two of them wandered through the darkening streets of Ba Sing Se, which was quieting down now that dinner was over and everyone was wrapping up their day. No more children were playing in the streets, and almost all the markets had closed their doors. They passed by a few bars, but Sokka shook his head at all of them. Zuko wasn’t sure why. Maybe he was looking for something in particular, or maybe he wanted to get far enough away from the palace that Aang had no chance of finding them.

As unlikely as it was that they would be able to get into a bar and get drinks without being questioned, Aang would never be able to. He had too much of a baby face.

“Here, this will do,” Sokka said. They were about a five minute walk from the palace, and the bar was pretty packed. They weren’t stopped at the door, so they walked over to an empty table for two in the corner of the bar. Someone approached them with a notepad in hand.

“What can I get you two?” he asked, barely looking up at them. This might just work.

Sokka elbowed Zuko, who realized that his voice was deeper so he was more likely to pass as an adult. “Uh...we’re new to the area and will take whatever you recommend.” He paused. “But we also have to be up for work tomorrow morning.”

“Say no more.” The waiter winked while still not getting a good look at them. “Two Boscos coming right up.”

After he left, Sokka laughed. “Bosco was the name of the Earth King’s bear. I wonder what’s in this stuff.”

Zuko shrugged, looking around them at all the people sitting and talking and laughing and drinking. There had been plenty of drinking games between the sailors on his ship when he was searching for the Avatar, but Iroh had refused to let him participate. He said it would poison Zuko’s mind. He was probably just afraid of what an angry teenager would do without inhibitions.

“This is so exciting,” Sokka said under his breath. Zuko had to lean close to hear him over the sounds of the people around them. “Katara would kill me if she knew what we were doing.”

“So would Aang.”

“Lucky I’ve got you on my side, or I wouldn’t stand a chance against them.”

Zuko laughed sharply. “I’m flattered but I absolutely could not beat them both in a fight. Aang alone, maybe, because he doesn’t believe in killing people. But Katara could probably kill me without breaking a sweat.”

Sokka looked at the ceiling with a dreamy expression. “Suki could absolutely kill me if she wanted. I love that about her.”

Zuko laughed again. He was laughing more today, with Sokka, than he had in a while. At least since he found out Azula was trying to sabotage him. “Mai could probably kill me, too, even without being a bender.”

The waiter came over with their drinks, and Sokka raised his glass. “To the women in our lives who could kick our butts!”

Zuko raised his as well, and then they took a sip. It was strong, and burned his throat as it went down. But it tasted good. He took another sip before setting the glass on the counter.

“That’s good,” Sokka said. He was trying to suppress a cough, presumably because the drink burned his throat too. “What did you think?”

“Yeah, it’s good.” He kept people-watching, seeing the different games and groups of people that were crowding the room. No one was here alone. In fact, it seemed as though Zuko and Sokka were the smallest group. Most if not all of these people had fought in the war, or in the occupation of Ba Sing Se. He wondered what that must have felt like, to have your home taken by an invading force.

“What are you thinking about?” Sokka asked.

“Hm? Oh. Nothing.” He took a few more sips of his drink. He wasn’t feeling anything yet, but he probably would soon.

“Well, that’s not true. You have a thinking look.”

“Ty Lee said that too. I don’t see it.”

“Well, duh, you don’t see your face. We do.” Sokka laughed.

“I was just thinking about the war.”

“Zuko! Honestly! This is about getting you to stop thinking about the war!”

“I know, I know.” He finished the drink in one gulp. “Maybe I need a few more to get to that point.”

“Then, in that case, another!” Sokka waved down the waiter and ordered more drinks for them. Once they arrived, he raised his glass again. “To you. For figuring out what’s right and what’s wrong, and working to fix the world.”

Zuko smiled while blushing, and raised his own glass. “To you,” he said. “For always being true to yourself and coming up with the best plans, even if they don’t always work.”

They clinked their glasses together and drank.

And drank.

And drank.

Zuko started feeling light-headed after the second drink, but he was really starting to feel it after the fourth. He felt like the world was shifting beneath him, like the whole building was rocking from side to side. His mouth wasn’t cooperating when he was trying to speak, either, like his mouth and brain were out of sync. Sokka was no better. He kept sloshing his drinks down his shirt.

“This is just...getting in the way,” he mumbled, moving to take it off.

“I don’t think you should take off your clothes,” Zuko said. “We’re in a public place.”

Sokka’s reflexes were slower, and it took him a second to respond. “Maybe we should go to a private place, then.”

Zuko nodded, getting dizzy just from that movement, and slapped several coins on the table. He had no idea how much he owed, so he left more than he thought was necessary. The two of them stumbled out onto the street, hanging onto each other until they could see the palace ahead of them. Zuko couldn’t walk in a straight line, and he was laughing at nothing, while Sokka tripped almost every step, clutching at Zuko’s arm.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Zuko said, stopping suddenly and swaying in place. “Aang. Aang is...inside. He will kill us.”

“Come...come here then.” Sokka pointed towards the side of the palace walls. “We can...be there...until we’re...ready.”

It seemed like it was harder to walk that last fifty feet than it had been to walk back from the bar. They kept tripping and falling into each other, laughing and mumbling nonsense words. They finally reached the wall, and Zuko helped Sokka into a sitting position before falling to the ground himself, staring at the stars.

“It’s so pretty,” he said.

“Yeah, it is.” Sokka wasn’t looking at the sky. He was looking at Zuko.

Zuko’s stomach fluttered, and he rubbed his face. “This was nice. This is fun. We should do it again.”

“Oh, absolutely.” Sokka shuffled over and lay on his back next to Zuko, shoulder to shoulder. “Every night, maybe. Except...they’d notice.” He leaned closer and whispered, “We can’t be caught!”

Zuko’s heart jumped into his throat. “There’s lots of empty rooms in the palace,” he said. “They’d never find us.”

Sokka gasped and sat up quickly; the action seemed to have consequences, though, because he immediately groaned and fell back to the ground. “We could play hide and seek!”

“What’s that?”

“You don’t know? Are you crazy? Who are you! Who raised you! It’s an outrage!” Sokka was gesturing wildly in the air, but he wasn’t sitting up again. Zuko knew he couldn’t sit up right now if he tried. “It’s such a fun game. I want to show you. Not...today. Someday though, I will show you. There’s so much to show you.”

They laughed, even though neither of them knew what they were laughing about. It took a few moments for the laughter to die down, and then they lay on the ground in silence, watching the clouds move across the sky. The moon shone down on them, and the stars sparkled across the sky. Zuko’s hand fell to his side, and brushed against Sokka’s.

Neither of them moved.

“It feels weird,” Sokka said after a few minutes. “Being under the moon. I miss her.”

“The moon?”

“Yue.” His hand flexed, which made his fingers almost intertwine with Zuko’s. “But I know she’s watching out for me.”

Zuko turned his head, only to find that Sokka was already looking at him. They were inches apart, and it was too much. Zuko felt so overwhelmed by all kinds of emotions that he quickly pulled away, turned onto his side, pulled his knees to his chest.

“Hey, whoa, dude, you okay?” Sokka sat up and put a hand on Zuko’s shoulder.

“I’m fine.” He sighed and slowly sat up as well. Without his normal inhibitions, he found nothing was stopping the words that he was thinking. “It’s hard. I sometimes feel like I don’t belong, and I know it’s stupid. Like, obviously I belong. I’m the Fire Lord. But my family, they’re not the best people.”

“No kidding.”

“I just mean that they made me believe things about myself that hurt a lot.”

When Sokka didn’t say anything, Zuko turned; he wasn’t expecting Sokka to be looking at him like that, like he was someone to be pitied and...cared about unconditionally. His emotions were swirling around inside him like the drinks, making him feel like he was going to fly and throw up at the same time.

Sokka leaned closer, just by an inch.

Zuko held his breath.

Sokka’s hand came up, his fingers gently moving over the scar. Normally Zuko would close his eyes when someone touched his scar, but he couldn’t. If he closed his eyes, he would miss this. He wasn’t sure what “this” was.

“You deserve more than what you’ve been through,” Sokka said. He looked like it took serious effort to get a coherent sentence out without slurring.

Now it was Zuko’s turn to lean closer. He could feel Sokka’s breath mixing with his, while one of his hands moved to grab the hand touching his scar. He didn’t want Sokka to stop; he just wanted to touch him.

Zuko thought he knew what the emotion he had been feeling was. It was more intense than he’d ever felt in his life.

“I can’t--” He wasn’t sure what he was going to say, but it didn’t matter.

Sokka kissed him.

Every emotion Zuko had ever felt crashed over him like a tsunami, drowning him. His whole face was numb, except his lips. The rest of his body, however, was alive like he’d never felt before. Every nerve was buzzing, especially where he was touching Sokka’s body. His fingers on the boy’s chest, their knees bumping into each other.

A sound of need came from Sokka’s throat as he deepened the kiss, grabbing the back of Zuko’s neck. His fingers tangled in the hair on the back of Zuko’s head, which sent shivers throughout his entire body. There was only one other person in the world who had touched his hair like this.

Zuko felt a thought emerging from the static in his mind. There wasn’t much getting in its way, except that he wasn’t sure he was capable of anything more complex than pure desire.

Then the thought surfaced, and he remembered everything.

He remembered Mai, and Suki, and Aang sleeping in the palace, and Katara back in the Fire Nation, and all the laws against who he was in his home country.

Zuko pulled away quickly, reluctantly, desperately. There were tears on his cheeks before he even realized it. He turned, stood, brushed the dirt from his clothes.

“Zuko--” Sokka still sat on the ground. Zuko couldn’t bear to look at him. The shame he felt dwarfed all the shame he felt about being Fire Nation, by a landslide.

“I have to go.” He wiped his face as he hurried back towards the entrance to the palace. He didn’t look back at Sokka. He couldn’t. It hurt too much.

The drinks were starting to clear from his head as he slammed the door to his room and leaned against it. He couldn’t stop the tears pouring down his face, and he couldn’t stop the gentle sobs escaping from his lips.

He sunk to his knees, forehead still pressed against the door. He balled his hands into fists, fingernails digging into his skin. It hurt, but he needed to feel pain right now. He deserved it.

Everything he had ever been told, from a young child, convinced him that he was wrong, that he was an aberration. It was his own fault, and he just had to hide it and suppress it and hopefully it would go away. He believed it. He believed it so strongly that even taking down his father and uprooting everything he’d ever been taught, it wouldn’t leave his mind.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. He didn’t know who he was apologizing to.

Sozin?

Ozai?

Sokka?

Himself?

It took him more than five minutes to stop crying. He was so exhausted, physically and emotionally, that he had to crawl over to the bed. He didn’t even change out of his day clothes, instead just collapsing on top of the blankets and burying his face in the pillow.

Zuko knew that sometimes, people forgot what they did when they were drunk. He wanted so badly to forget this.

He never wanted to forget this.

~~~

Zuko woke up the next morning to someone knocking on his door. He rubbed his eyes, disoriented and confused. He wasn’t sure where he was, or what day it was, or how long he had been asleep.

Last night was a dream. It couldn’t have possibly been real.

“Zuko, are you awake?” It was Aang. He didn’t sound worried necessarily, but the fact that he was waking Zuko up at all was out of the norm.

Zuko slowly got to his feet, making sure he didn’t fall over. He was still a little dizzy, although that might have been the thirst he felt. He wanted to drink all of Lake Laogai. “I’m awake now,” he said as he opened the door.

Aang’s eyes widened in shock. “Zuko! Are you okay? What happened?”

Zuko furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”

“You look like you got in a fight or something. Your hair’s all messy and your clothes--and your eyes, they’re really red.”

He remembered, suddenly, that he hadn’t changed out of his clothes last night. The weight of the revelation, that it hadn’t been a dream, hit him like a ton of bricks. He stumbled back to the bed, covering his face.

“I’m okay,” he said through his hands. “I just...had a weird night. Nothing happened.”

“Nothing? You expect me to believe that?” Aang sat on the bed beside him. “You look terrible. You should come and have some breakfast. And definitely drink some water.”

“Yeah. That’s a good idea.” He allowed Aang to take him by the elbow and lead him through the palace to the kitchens. He sat at a table and drank three glasses of water before his head stopped hurting.

“Are you going to be okay if I leave you here for a bit?” Aang asked as Zuko started to eat the food in front of him. “I have to go get Sokka up.”

Zuko closed his eyes and nodded. Once he was sure Aang was out of the room, he shoved the plate away and buried his head in his arms.

Sokka.

He licked his lips, trying to recapture the taste of Sokka’s kiss, and then hated himself for doing it. They still had to travel all the way back to the Fire Nation, on Appa’s tiny saddle. How could he avoid him for that long? How could he avoid him at all?

He didn’t want to avoid him. And yet, he needed to.

Before Aang could return with Sokka, Zuko left the room and almost ran back to his sleeping quarters. There was nothing to do in this room, but it had a door, and Sokka wasn’t here. That was enough.

He had been so good at hiding it, for so long. All it took was a few drinks, and suddenly a lifetime of pretending and doing what he was told was undone. And he felt like he couldn’t take it back. He couldn’t go back to the person he was before, even though he needed to. He had experienced so much in the past year, but this made him more confused than anything else.

He couldn’t go to those meetings today. He couldn’t do anything today. The whole thing was a mistake, bringing Sokka on this trip, agreeing to go drinking with him, kissing him.

Aang tried to get Zuko to come out of his room a few times during the day, but he refused. He only left late in the evening, when his stomach was growling fiercely. He was careful to check around each corner as he made his way down to the kitchens. No sign of Aang or Sokka. Just the various servants and officials who worked and lived in the palace. None of them bothered him. He was relieved when he finally made it without running into either of them.

Except that Sokka was waiting for him in the kitchens.

“Please don’t run away,” Sokka said. Zuko stood in place, drowning in shame. “I wanted to talk about last night.” He sighed. “I get it. I know it was a mistake. I wasn’t myself, and I’m sorry. I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.”

Zuko wasn’t sure if he should be upset at how quickly Sokka admitted the kiss was a mistake. Anyone could see it, and he knew it was a mistake, but part of him still wilted knowing for sure how Sokka felt. He tried to retreat inside himself, to cut off the part of himself that wanted this sort of thing.

“Will you say something? Please?”

“I won’t tell,” Zuko finally said quietly.

Sokka nodded sadly. He wasn’t intentionally making that pouty face that Zuko couldn’t resist, but the effect was still the same. He wanted to hug him, and he wanted to hide away from the world forever.

“I don’t want it to be weird,” Sokka said. “You mean too much to me to lose you over us doing something stupid.”

Zuko turned away, fingers digging into his palms again. “I have to pack for leaving tomorrow. I don’t want it to be weird either. Can we just forget it ever happened?”

He hated hearing the sad undertone of Sokka’s sigh. “Yeah. Here, you stay. You need to eat something. I’ll go.” Before Zuko had the chance to argue, Sokka had passed him and was walking quickly down the hallway.

~~~

It was hard to hide from Aang that something had happened, but he was receptive enough to not ask about it while they were still in Ba Sing Se, surrounded by so many people. They left the next day at first light. The trip back to the Fire Nation would take almost a week, and the prospect of that many days stuck in a small space with the two of them made Zuko feel awful.

Unlike the weeks preceding, the three boys were mostly quiet as they flew. Zuko was thankful for the few diplomatic recommendations he’d brought, because it gave him an excuse to not talk to them. When Aang was flying, Zuko tried to sit as far from Sokka as possible; when Sokka was flying, Zuko buried his face in the papers so Aang wouldn’t try to start a conversation.

The first night, as they disembarked from Appa and set up camp, Aang cornered Sokka. Zuko couldn’t hear what was going on, but he hoped nothing would come of it. He hoped Aang would never find out. He hoped no one would ever find out.

It wasn’t until the third night that Aang cornered Zuko as they set up camp. Sokka had gone to gather some firewood, so Aang sat Zuko down on Appa’s saddle.

“Sokka won’t tell me anything,” Aang started, “but I can tell something happened. You two have never been this quiet in all the time I’ve known you. Did you guys have a fight or something?”

“No. Not...exactly.”

Aang sighed. “Look, I don’t like seeing you guys like this. It sucks. You’re both miserable and I hate that. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No. It’s just something we have to deal with ourselves.”

Aang studied Zuko’s face; he opened his mouth to say something when they heard Sokka approaching with some wood. He dropped the subject, but kept glancing between the two older boys as they ate and set up their sleeping bags.

Every night, Zuko tossed and turned and couldn’t sleep for hours. When he finally did sleep, he just dreamed about Sokka.

Zuko desperately wanted to go back to earlier in the trip, when his shame was only about what his family had done. At least he could rationalize himself out of that shame. This was his to bear, probably for the rest of his life.

He had never been so happy to see the Fire Nation a few days later. They landed in the Palace City in late afternoon, greeted by Suki, Mai, and Katara. As soon as they stepped off Appa, the three girls surged forward to hug their respective boyfriends, while the palace servants gathered their belongings and brought them inside.

“I missed you so much,” Aang said to Katara.

“I hate being away from you,” Sokka said to Suki.

Zuko couldn’t say anything to Mai, but she didn’t seem offended. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to say anything; he just had so much in his head that sorting through it was difficult. He’d barely spoken a word since they left Ba Sing Se.

Everyone started settling into a routine. The Kyoshi Warriors patrolled the palace; Zuko met with his generals and Aang to figure out the end of the war; Toph continued to impress people by bending metal.

Sokka and Zuko didn’t say a word to each other for two weeks.

It had been easy to avoid speaking directly at first, because there were so many people around them again. Even if Zuko had to say something to Sokka, he could hide it in a message to the whole group. Sokka seemed to be doing the same. They were even able to avoid suspicion, except from Aang, who agreed to keep his mouth shut.

And then Zuko ran directly into Sokka in the palace hallways.

Neither of them had been paying attention. Zuko was reading information Katara had gathered for him, and Sokka was playing with his boomerang.

They crashed into each other, Zuko’s papers and Sokka’s boomerang falling to the ground.

There was no one else in the hallway. The two of them stared at each other for a beat too long before gathering their items.

“Sorry,” Zuko said.

“No, no, it’s my fault,” Sokka replied.

They weren’t making eye contact anymore. Zuko felt like he was engulfed in flames, except the flames were made of shame.

“Zuko--”

“Sokka--”

They stopped. Zuko finally raised his eyes up to look into Sokka’s.

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “About it all. I just...it’s hard.”

“I know it is. And I’m the one who should be sorry. I kissed you.”

Zuko looked around them hurriedly. “Shh! Don’t say it so loud. Do you want the whole palace to know?”

Sokka sighed. “Look, I get it. It’s technically cheating. But you don’t have to act like it’s the end of the world.”

“Cheating? No, that’s not--” He stopped. Is that what Sokka thought was bothering him? Did he think that Zuko was this concerned about a drunken kiss because he thought Mai would hate him for it? “That’s not the problem.”

“Then what is?”

“You’re...a guy.”

Sokka’s expression changed from confused to concerned to sad in the space of a few seconds. “Oh. I thought that you--never mind. Forget it. Let’s just forget it happened, okay? Because I miss talking to you.”

It was Zuko’s turn to sigh. “Yeah. That sounds good. I miss you too.”

That seemed to lift Sokka’s spirits, even just a bit, which put butterflies in Zuko’s stomach. He considered a hug, but even that was too much. So he just nodded and headed down the hallway. His head was swimming, and he needed to get away from Sokka for a bit to clear it.

~~~

A week later, with Sokka and Zuko slowly starting to talk to each other again, the gang resumed spending almost every waking moment together. That was how Zuko preferred it. They gathered in the throne room one day to discuss some of the domestic problems that Zuko had to face.

“I did so much reading,” Katara said. “There is so much about the official story of the Fire Nation that’s just...wrong. Blatantly false.”

“I know,” Zuko said. “Sozin locked the real history up, and rewrote it.”

“We have to fix this. We can’t have the next generation of Fire Nation citizens be raised with this.”

“It’s not that easy, Katara. Changing the whole curriculum of all the schools in the Fire Nation is a huge feat.”

“We have to start somewhere,” Suki said. “As long as they’re being taught a lie, it’ll be that much harder to reunite the world.”

Aang nodded. “The kids of this nation want to know what happened. They’re receptive to it. I think the teachers will be the harder part.”

“That’s true,” Mai said. “We can correct the books all we want, but as long as the teachers believe what Sozin said, it won’t make a difference. And you can’t just fire all the teachers.”

Zuko rubbed his eyes. “Who knew something as simple as school would be such a headache?”

“There’s no better time to start, though,” Sokka said. Everyone stared at him. “The longer we wait, the harder it will be. Plus, I know you haven’t sent everyone back yet. You can start a new school year with a new curriculum, and go from there.”

Zuko had ordered all the schools to be closed while they dealt with the worst parts of rebuilding. Trying to teach kids while their homes were destroyed wasn’t wise. It had been months, but Zuko was waiting for the right time to send them back.

“I know some of the Fire Sages know the real history,” he said. “We can get them to write the new history books. For all ages. As for the teachers...we’ll just have to play that by ear.”

“They should write them with input from the other nations,” Katara said. “I’d hate for the Fire Nation’s schools to be taught something about the Water Tribes that isn’t true, but no one thought to ask.”

“Good point,” Zuko said.

“What about schools in the Earth Kingdom?” Toph asked. “I never went to one, but I know that their books will have to change too.”

“Not necessarily,” Suki replied. “They have the real history in their classes. They just need to update the ending of the books. Add an end date to Ozai’s reign.”

“Hear, hear,” Katara said. “The best thing your father ever did was lose to Aang.”

“I’m hurt, Katara,” Zuko said, putting a hand to his chest. “I thought it was fathering me.”

“Oh, please, you’re not that great.” She laughed, and he laughed with her. “Besides, he was only half of that equation. Your mother did most of the work.”

Zuko’s smile faltered. “Yeah. She did.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to--”

“No, no, it’s okay, it’s not…” He sighed. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you guys about.”

Zuko saw an expression of shock cross Sokka’s face, but the others all looked concerned. He took Mai’s hand.

“On the day of the eclipse,” he started, “when I confronted my father, he told me something. And I don’t know how much of it is true, because I know he was just trying to manipulate me into staying until the eclipse was over so he could kill me.” Mai squeezed his hand. “But he told me that my mother wasn’t killed the night she disappeared.”

“What?”

“Are you serious?”

Zuko couldn’t discern any individual voice out of the cacophony of his friends’ reactions. He kept his eyes on the ground.

“She was banished, according to what he said. Like I was. Because she had...poisoned my grandfather.”

“Okay, take a step back,” Katara said. “Poisoned? What are you talking about?”

Zuko sighed. “When my cousin died, and Uncle abandoned his siege at Ba Sing Se, my father asked my grandfather to revoke Uncle’s birthright and name my father his successor. But my grandfather was furious, and he told my father that he had to experience what it was to lose a first-born son. My father was going to kill me. And then my mother proposed a plan. She would poison my grandfather, and my father would be Fire Lord, and I would be spared.”

He could feel the weight of their stares on him, and Mai’s hand in his. It was hard to talk about, especially around all of his friends. What his mother had done for him was so unbelievable and so horrifying that he didn’t like to even think about it.

“Zuko,” Suki said softly. “I’m so sorry.”

“It was a long time ago,” he said. “The important part is, I thought she was killed that night. I thought she’d done what needed to be done and then the guards killed her. But she was just banished. She could still be alive.”

The room was silent. Other than Mai, he didn’t know how much of the story any of them actually knew. It was very likely that they were hearing the whole thing for the first time.

“So,” Aang said carefully, “when are we going to look for her?”

Zuko blinked and looked up at him. “What?”

“Your mother. When are we going to look for her? Is that our next mission?”

Zuko looked around at all of them, who all seemed to be agreeing with Aang’s sentiment. Katara and Suki had tears in their eyes; Mai and Sokka had matching expressions as they watched him.

“I didn’t--that’s not what I meant.”

“So, you don’t want us to help find her?”

“No, no, that’s not--” He huffed. “Look, we have so many other things to worry about right now, okay? I can’t leave the Fire Nation all the time. I’m the Fire Lord.”

“And I’m the Avatar,” Aang said. “And I say we should go look for her. Do you have any leads?”

“My father won’t talk. It’s the last bit of control he has over me.”

Katara grinned. “I bet I could make him talk.”

“Me too,” said Toph.

“My Lord?”

Zuko looked up, grateful for the interruption. One of the palace servants stood in the door with a scroll. “What is it?”

“A message from the Earth Kingdom, my Lord.”

Zuko got to his feet and took the scroll. The servant bowed and left the room.

“What is it?” Aang asked, suddenly beside Zuko and looking around his shoulder.

“Well, I don’t know yet, Aang, I haven’t even unrolled it.” He chuckled and started to unroll it, but when he saw who it was from, quickly crumpled it and stuffed it in his robes.

“Hey!”

“Sorry, this is a personal thing, not a state-running thing.” Aang sighed and nodded, sitting back with the group. “I’m going to read this, and do some of the boring work that comes with being Fire Lord. Thank you all for your input.” He bowed his head and jogged out of the room before any of them could stop him.

Zuko ducked into the royal records room, wandering through the stacks until he found a spot that was secluded enough to read the message. He didn’t want anyone else to know what he was doing, because he didn’t trust anyone else to keep it secret.

The message came from a lieutenant stationed in the western Earth Kingdom. This lieutenant had been put in charge of finding Sokka’s space sword. Zuko hadn’t received a single message about it since he sent the order, which wasn’t surprising. He had been explicit that he only wanted to be alerted when it was found.

That was this message.

Zuko’s heart pounded in his chest as he read the message, read about the soldier who had found it not recognizing it at first and wanting to keep it, about the lieutenant knowing the space sword was all black instead of silver and taking it from him. He had even written to Piandao with a description of the sword, to check if it matched what he remembered of Sokka’s.

Piandao had responded with an enthusiastic affirmation, and a new sheath to match.

The discussion of his mother was wiped from his mind. Everything in the world was wiped from his mind except this, the knowledge that Sokka’s beloved space sword, all clean and with a new sheath, was on its way to the Fire Nation as he stood there.

The euphoria collapsed when he remembered Ba Sing Se. What would Sokka think, if after all that trouble, Zuko did this for him? Would he take it as some kind of apology? Would he take it as an expression of feelings? Zuko didn’t even want to admit the feelings to himself, much less to anyone else.

“Who are you hiding from?”

Zuko jumped, dropping the scroll. Ty Lee was behind him, giggling as he blushed and grabbed it. “No one.”

“So why are you reading a scroll secretly in the records room?”

“It’s...a personal scroll. I didn’t want anyone else to read it.”

Ty Lee smiled. “You’re the Fire Lord, I think you can tell people not to read your stuff.”

There wasn’t much he could say to that.

“Mai told me that you finally told them,” she continued. “I’m proud of you.”

“Hm? Oh. Right. My mother.” He rolled and unrolled the scroll in his hands compulsively. “Yeah. It just came up in conversation. Nothing to be proud of.”

“It’s still a big step for you. I know how hard it is for you to talk about your mother.”

Having Ty Lee back in the palace reminded Zuko so much of the old days, but talking about his mother with her took him back even further. She had always been Azula’s puppet, and while Mai was compliant, she also stood her ground a lot more. Zuko had been as surprised as any of them when he heard that Ty Lee betrayed Azula. He must not have known her as well as he thought he did.

But she knew him.

“Can I talk to you about something?” he said quietly. “Somewhere...private?”

“Of course.”

The two of them left the records room, and Zuko started towards his sleeping quarters. It was the most private place he could think of, especially during the day when his nightly servants weren’t there. He sat cross-legged on his bed when they got there, Ty Lee perching next to him.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

He took a deep breath, still clutching the scroll like a lifeline. “Something...happened in Ba Sing Se. And I have no idea how to process it.”

“On your trip, you mean?”

“Yeah. With Aang and Sokka.”

“Were you attacked or something?”

“No, no, don’t worry--it wasn’t violent. It wasn’t…” He gulped. “Sokka and I went to a bar and had some drinks.”

Ty Lee laughed. “What, did you make some grievous diplomatic error while drunk?”

“I kissed him. Or, well, he kissed me. But I didn’t stop him, and I kissed him back.”

Ty Lee fell silent. He had no idea what she was thinking, and he didn’t want to look up in case she was judging him harshly. Then he felt her hand on his shoulder, and he looked up, and she wasn’t mad. She should be. Mai was her best friend.

“Why aren’t you yelling at me?” he said.

“I mean, you didn’t plan it, right?” He shook his head vigorously. “I’m sure Mai would just laugh. You were both really drunk, and not thinking clearly. She won’t be mad.”

He was somewhat comforted by that. Mai meant so much to him, and he didn’t want to hurt her again. It killed him to hurt her the first time.

“It’s just...hard now. To look at him. It’s awkward. I don’t know how to move forward.”

“You should talk to him about it. Lay it all out. You’re never going to move forward if you’re hiding.”

“Can this...stay between us? No one else knows.” He realized as he said it that keeping the conversation secret constituted hiding, but didn’t particularly care.

“I will, if you promise me that you and Sokka will talk. And that you’ll tell Mai and Suki. They deserve to know, Zuko.”

He knew that. But that was such a hard conversation. It was a hard situation all around. He preferred the Not-War meetings, as boring and repetitive and argumentative as they were. At least he knew how to handle that situation.

As they were leaving, she stopped him. “I’m curious. I just have to ask. Was he any good?”

“Ty Lee!”

She laughed at his beet-red face and cartwheeled down the hallway.

~~~

Zuko pulled Mai aside after dinner that night, bringing her out to the turtleduck pond. It was his favorite place in the palace, and it was secluded enough.

“Are you okay?” she asked as they sat under the tree. He broke some bread into pieces and tossed it into the pond. “You’ve been up and down all day.”

“I’m fine,” he said. “As fine as I can be, I guess.”

She leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed happily. “It’s nice to just sit, isn’t it? Just relax for a bit. I know how hard this is on you.”

“I have to talk to you about something. And I hope you won’t hate me when I tell you.”

She sat up straight again. “What is it? You’re not breaking up with me again, are you?”

“No, no.” He tossed the last of the bread in the lake. “When Aang, Sokka, and I were in Ba Sing Se, Sokka and I went to a bar and had a few drinks. More than a few drinks. We got really drunk. And...well, we knew Aang would be mad so we waited outside until we stopped looking so drunk. And one thing led to another and...he kissed me.”

Mai inhaled sharply. Zuko glanced at her, but couldn’t read her expression. “Did you kiss him back?”

He flinched. “For a bit. But I realized what we were doing and stopped it. I’m so, so sorry, Mai. I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have.”

“If you’re sorry, and it was a drunken mistake, then I’m not mad.” She smiled and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for being honest.”

“How are you not mad? I thought--”

“Zuko, I trust you. And I love you. You apologized, and you regret it. That’s all I need.”

Zuko watched the turtleducks swimming around, his mind reeling. Why was no one ever mad at him? Why is it, wherever he went, the people he thought would be furious forgave him?

“Why did it take you so long to tell me?” she asked. “It’s been, like, two months since you got back.”

“I was ashamed of it,” he replied. “For a lot of reasons. I just needed to process it.”

Mai put a hand on his cheek and turned him to face her. “I love you, Zuko.”

“I love you, too,” he said with a small smile.

She kissed him, softly and gently at first. They didn’t get much time alone with all the meetings and the various people around the palace always wanting to check in on him. Her hands moved up to his hair; he shivered and kissed her harder, nudging her gently until she lay back in the grass. She complied, and his hands travelled over her body as he moved to kiss her neck and collarbone. Mai arched into him, and Zuko opened his mouth to say something about moving inside when he heard someone cough.

“I don’t mean to interrupt.”

Sokka.

Zuko scrambled to his feet, brushing dirt from his clothes. Mai sat up and leaned against the tree. She looked embarrassed too. Of all the people in the palace to catch them...

“Is everything okay?” Zuko asked, looking at Sokka’s shoulder to avoid eye contact.

“Yeah.” Sokka kept glancing between Mai and Zuko. “Katara got worried when we couldn’t find you. I told her I’d make sure you hadn’t run away.”

Zuko brought his eyes up to meet Sokka’s. “I’m still here.” There were a million things he didn’t say, but he felt like Sokka understood them anyway.

“I’m here too,” Mai said, standing beside Zuko and taking his hand. Sokka flushed and looked at his feet.

“Right. Well, I’ll just head back inside, then.” He turned to leave.

“Wait.” Zuko didn’t know what he was going to say next. He just didn’t want Sokka to leave yet. “I...I told Mai.”

Sokka stood frozen under the walkway cover. His hand was on a pillar, clenched into a fist.

“And I think you should tell Suki.”

“I thought you wanted to forget about it.” His back was still turned.

“Suki has a right to know,” Mai said. “And if it makes you feel any better, I’m not mad.”

“You’re not?” Sokka looked over his shoulder.

“No. Things happen. Life is messy. As long as you apologize, I can’t imagine Suki would be mad, either.”

Sokka nodded and left. Zuko let out a breath, watching him walk away. Mai yawned and squeezed Zuko’s hand before starting towards the palace herself.

“Wait.” There was one more thing he had to clear up, before he could consider this done with. “I need you to be honest with me. Would you have reacted the same way if I had kissed a girl?”

Mai tilted her head at him. “Of course. If you still regretted it. Come on, Zuko. I’m not mad. You can relax now.” She smiled and kissed his cheek before leaving.

He stood by the pond, wondering how he could ever explain to her that he didn’t regret it completely.

~~~

Zuko had no idea if Sokka actually told Suki. She didn’t treat him differently or look at him funny. She didn’t confront him. And to her credit, Ty Lee didn’t act differently either.

It seemed like things were going to go back to normal. The weight wasn’t entirely off Zuko’s shoulders, but at least he had been open with Mai, and wasn’t hiding anything from her.

Except, of course, the thing that he was also hiding from himself.

The space sword arrived a few days later, and Zuko made sure no one intercepted it before he could get his hands on it. It was a beautiful sword; he took a few moments to marvel at it before wrapping it back up in cloth to give to Sokka. He just had to wait for the perfect opportunity.

That opportunity came a week later. Zuko kept getting messenger hawks from his troops in the Earth Kingdom, praising his leadership and bragging about how well the recovery was going. He decided to have a feast with his friends, bringing each of their favorite foods to enjoy. They were talking and laughing around the large table; Zuko smiled at them all, happy and content for the first time in a while.

He stood up, glass in hand. “I just wanted to say,” he said as they quieted down, “that I really, really appreciate you guys all being here with me. I know I raised a fuss when you first agreed to come, but I’m glad you overruled me.”

“Hear, hear!” Aang said, laughing.

“The reconstruction of the Earth Kingdom is going very, very well,” he continued. “I’ve gotten messages from all over about the success of our plan, from my troops and Earth Kingdom citizens alike. Uncle reports positively from Ba Sing Se as well. It seems like things are finally going the right way.”

They all raised their glasses and took a drink. He looked around at them all, emotions welling up inside him.

“I wanted to...take this opportunity to thank you all for your help. And also, to reveal something secret I’ve been working on for months.” Everyone stared at him expectantly. “As you all know, we’ve lost a lot on the way here. Some physical things, some not-physical things. We all lost so much of our innocence. Aang lost his glider. Sokka lost his space sword. I lost my honor.” They laughed. He stepped away from the table, towards a cabinet against the side wall. “I can’t replace all of that. I found my honor, I guess, and Aang got a new glider, but we all know it isn’t the same. There’s just something about having that original thing that makes all the difference.”

Zuko glanced at Sokka, who didn’t seem to catch on to what was going on. Katara, on the other hand, was vibrating with excitement, looking between Zuko and Sokka with her hand over her mouth and her eyes glistening.

“Luckily,” he said with a smile, slowly opening the cabinet door and reaching inside, “there is one person I can help in that regard. There is one person who lost something that’s going to get it back, in more or less the same condition it was before.” He pulled out the sword, which was still wrapped in cloth. He made eye contact with Sokka, who was starting to understand. “Sokka, you told me that you don’t feel whole without your sword. I hope you can feel whole now.” He unwrapped the sword, knelt in front of Sokka, and offered it up to him.

It was, perhaps, the first time Zuko had ever seen Sokka rendered speechless. He looked like he had a million things to say, but his brain and his mouth weren’t working. He took the sword, pulled it from its sheath to inspect it, and looked back at Zuko with tears shining in his eyes. Zuko had never seen Sokka cry before.

“You--I--you have no--thank you so--” Sokka kept starting and stopping sentences, the sword falling from his hands as he grabbed Zuko and hugged him tightly. Zuko froze for a second, and then hugged back. Sokka was still shaking.

“I know how much it means to you,” Zuko said, low enough that he hoped only Sokka could hear.

“Thank you,” Sokka whispered, squeezing tightly before letting go.

Before he could recover from the first hug, Zuko found himself tackled by Suki and Katara as well. He looked around the table; everyone was smiling widely. Mai looked so proud of him. He had known it would be received well, but he hadn’t expected this level of happiness.

“Zuko, you’re the sweetest person in the world,” Suki said. “How long did that take you to find?”

“Well, I didn’t find it, my soldiers did. I told them to start looking when we were on the trip to Ba Sing Se.”

He and Sokka shared a look that carried an entire conversation.

“What a big softie,” Toph said, smiling. “I expected better from you, Hotman.”

“Not everyone shows affection by punching.” He laughed and looked at Aang. “If I thought there was a chance of finding a genuine Air Nomad glider, I would’ve torn the world apart for it. I hope you know that.”

“Of course I do,” Aang replied. “And I can’t tell you how much it means.”

The rest of the dinner passed with even more laughter than before, Sokka showing off the sword to everyone, even those who had seen it before. He even stopped the servants as they cleaned the table to show it to them. He looked like a kid.

He was a kid.

They stayed in the dining room for hours, eventually getting dessert as well, until everyone started to yawn and went to their quarters one by one. Soon, it was just Sokka and Zuko left. Sokka didn’t seem to notice right away; he was polishing the sword with a napkin, despite not having used it at all.

When he did look up, his eyes flicked around the room before settling on Zuko. “Oh,” he said.

“I’m glad you like it,” Zuko said.

“Like it? Zuko. I am never going to be able to repay you for this.”

“I didn’t do it so you’d owe me--”

“I know you didn’t, but--”

“Sokka--”

“Zuko--”

They both stopped talking simultaneously, and settled on staring into each other’s eyes. Sokka was absently wiping the blade, while Zuko was wringing a napkin in his hands. The room was completely silent. All the servants had cleaned the table long ago. It was late at night, probably close to midnight. The palace was asleep.

The tension between them felt like a saber-tooth moose-lion poised and ready to pounce.

“Zuko--”

“Sokka--”

Chair legs squeaked against the floor, the sword clattered to the ground. Before either of them knew what was happening, Zuko had Sokka against the wall, kissing him like he’d never kissed anyone in his life. Sokka’s hands clutched at the back of Zuko’s robes, while Zuko’s roamed over Sokka’s torso.

It wasn’t until Zuko started to kiss up Sokka’s jaw to his earlobe, and Sokka let out a whimper of pure need and desire, that Zuko fully realized what he was doing.

As abruptly as it had started, Zuko pulled away, wiping his mouth as his face grew hot.

“Zuko--”

“Sokka, I can’t. I just can’t.” The euphoria of the dinner was being washed away with shame. He turned to leave, but Sokka grabbed his hand and forced him to turn back around.

“Stop.” Sokka brought his hands to Zuko’s face and looked into his eyes. “Zuko, what’s going on?”

“We both have girlfriends, Sokka.” He loved the way the other boy’s name sounded. And he loved how his own name sounded from the other boy’s mouth. And he hated himself for loving it.

“There’s something else.” Sokka let go of Zuko’s face, but he didn’t move away.

“Please leave it alone.” He felt like the whole world was watching him and judging him. “It’s complicated and I can’t do this.”

Sokka’s eyes traveled over Zuko’s face, down to his lips, and then back to his eyes. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t--”

Before he could say anything else, Sokka was already gone. The sword lay forgotten on the floor; Zuko’s chair was on its side from how quickly he stood earlier. The silence closed in on Zuko, making him feel incredibly small. Feeling like he was watching himself from the outside, he picked the sword from the ground and set it on the table. His fingers lingered on the blade.

Zuko never hated his father more. Sozin and Azulon had done their part, but Ozai was the one who made Zuko personally suffer for feeling this way.

He grabbed a vase of flowers from the center of the table and threw it as hard as he could against the wall. It shattered, water and pieces of the vase and flowers flying everywhere. It didn’t make him feel any better.

“My Lord!” A servant appeared from the kitchens, panting. “Is everything all right? We heard a crash.”

“Clean it up, please,” Zuko said weakly. “And take this sword to Sokka’s room.” He didn’t wait for a response before he turned and left.

~~~

Zuko and Sokka were able to pretend like nothing had happened, and everyone believed them. They all went back to enjoying their time together, planning the reconstruction of the Earth Kingdom, and discussing how best to deal with Azula. Aang, of course, refused to hear any suggestion of killing her. Zuko took his side on that.

Sokka had started doodling while they were having meetings. Aang and Katara teased him for it, but that didn’t stop him. He said that he wanted to remember these days, in his own way. Like the drawing he had done after the coronation, which currently hung above the fireplace in Zuko’s room.

Suki tried her hand at doodling as well, with much better results. Soon, it became a competition, and Zuko could never be sure if either of them was actually paying attention when he was talking to them.

A few weeks after giving Sokka his sword back, Zuko was in yet another meeting with his friends. He was more eager than ever for the day’s meetings to be finished; Iroh was coming that night from Ba Sing Se. Zuko hadn’t seen Iroh since their last visit to Ba Sing Se, and he missed him terribly.

“Zuko, there’s this one law I wanted to talk about,” Katara said, pulling a scroll from her bag. “I found it when I was researching what we needed to change about the Fire Nation.” She unrolled the scroll and lay it out on the table. “I know that Sozin was awful, but why did no one repeal this?”

Zuko looked at the scroll; his heart jumped into his throat. He wanted to set the scroll on fire so no one else saw it.

“What is it?” Suki asked, looking up from her drawing.

“Sozin outlawed same-gender marriages,” Katara replied. “Based on what I can tell, it was even before the comet. It’s been over a hundred years and it’s still around.” She looked at Zuko. “Why hasn’t anyone done anything about this?”

“Sokka,” Zuko said, a little too loudly, “how come you’re drawing with your left hand today?”

“Zuko, don’t change the subject--”

Sokka looked up, a proud expression on his face. “I’m actually ambidextrous! I was challenging myself--”

“That’s great, Sokka!” Aang said, grinning widely. “You know we love you no matter what.”

Sokka faltered as Toph laughed. “Uh. What?”

“The monks taught us that love is energy, and it transcends physical bodies. They encouraged us to explore love in whatever form it took, regardless of gender.”

“That’s great, but that’s not what I--”

“Aang, sweetie, he was talking about using his hands--”

“Zuko, are you _crying_?”

Everyone stopped and stared at Zuko, who couldn’t stop the tears pouring out of his eyes. He had tried to hide this law from Katara, because he assumed the rest of the world was like the Fire Nation. He didn’t know how she found it. He didn’t want to do this here.

“What’s wrong, Zuko?” Katara asked.

“I was always...my whole nation, but especially my father, they told me I was a disgrace. For liking boys.” He couldn’t look at Sokka. He couldn’t look at any of them.

“Oh, spirits--”

“Someone give him a hug!”

Zuko found himself pulled into three separate hugs at once. He didn’t know who it was. His left eye could barely see anything anyway, and his good eye was blurred with tears.

He had been so sure. No one had ever challenged him, no one had said or done anything to make him think they would accept it. So he went through the world thinking the way his father wanted him to think, and thinking that everyone else agreed. It was such a shock to him that they didn’t.

“Zuko,” Mai said, holding his hand tightly. “Are you okay? Did you want to go somewhere else?”

Everyone was looking at him. He just nodded wordlessly, and allowed Mai to lead him up to his sleeping quarters. He curled up on the bed, hugging the pillow tightly.

“Zuko, talk to me.” Mai sat behind him, rubbing his back.

“What is there to say?”

“You’re not a disgrace. You’re not a horrible person for this.”

He shook his head. There was too much to say, too much to talk about, and he had no idea where to start.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“The same reason I never told anyone else. My dad.”

“I’m going to kill him someday, you know that?” Mai brushed Zuko’s hair back from his face. “He was wrong. It’s okay to like boys.” She paused, her hand hesitating slightly. “You still like me, right?”

Zuko nodded, but he was even starting to question that. He loved Mai, absolutely and completely, but was it the same? Was he just trying to fit into the mold his father had made for him? How could he be sure? He had no idea what it felt like to actually have a crush.

Except, perhaps, Sokka.

“Is this why you were so torn up about the kiss?” Mai asked, almost as if she could read his mind. “Not just because you’re with me, but because he’s a boy. That’s why you asked me if I would react the same if you kissed a girl.”

“Yeah. If I’m going to be honest with you…” He turned onto his back, looking up at her. “It’s the only reason I stopped. But I was drunk, so I didn’t know what I was doing.”

Mai smiled down at him. “Zuko. I think you and Sokka need to have a talk.”

“Why? Nothing will come of it. He’s got Suki, and I’ve got you.”

“Because you’re going to keep beating yourself up unless you get all this out with him. Promise me you’ll talk with him, okay?”

He sighed. “I promise. Can I rest now?”

She kissed his cheek and left with a smile.

Zuko stayed on his back, staring at the ceiling, thoughts bouncing around his head. He’d never told anyone before, and now all of his friends knew. He silently cursed Katara for bringing that scroll, and Aang for not knowing what ambidextrous was. He had been so good at hiding this part of himself, locking it up in a cage and silencing it, burying it so deep that he often forgot it existed. It was easier that way.

Until Sokka kissed him in Ba Sing Se.

The way he felt about Sokka rose up inside him, finally coming to the surface for the first time. Sokka was one of his closest friends, someone he trusted with his life. But Sokka was also the smartest, funniest, bravest person Zuko knew. He could crack a joke about almost anything, but he was perceptive enough to be a good emotional support system when he needed to be. There were no words to describe how brave Sokka was, during the eclipse and the comet and all the other dozens of times he risked his life for a kid he barely knew.

And if the past few months taught him anything, it’s that Sokka felt the same way about Zuko. It would have been one thing if the night in Ba Sing Se was it, but it wasn’t. Zuko caught Sokka watching him. He felt Sokka’s hands on his back the night he gave him the sword.

How could Sokka be with Suki and still feel that way about Zuko?

How could Zuko be with Mai and feel anything for Sokka?

Zuko brought the pillow over his face, blocking out the world. He was so confused about so many things, but at least one thing was out in the open.

He would never have to hide again.

~~~

Zuko spent the rest of the day in his room, visited by Mai occasionally, until he couldn’t stand it anymore and went down to get something to eat. The rest of the gang weren’t around, so he ate in peace. He couldn’t help but notice the new vase on the table.

After he finished eating, Zuko remained at the table, head in his arms, thinking about everything that had changed for him in the past few weeks.

“This isn’t a bedroom, nephew.”

Zuko shot out of his seat, almost jumping into Iroh’s arms for a tight hug. All the commotion around his telling everyone had made him forget that Iroh was coming.

“Whoa there, easy,” Iroh said with a laugh. “I’m still an old man, you could break me.”

“I’m so happy to see you,” Zuko muttered. “You have no idea.”

“What’s happened?”

They broke apart and sat at the table, Zuko staring at his hands. He knew this conversation was coming, and he only wished he had remembered Iroh was coming to visit so he could prepare himself. He’d only just come out to the rest of them.

“There’s a lot I need to talk to you about,” he started. “And I know that...I know that you’re not my father, but there’s a lot that I’m still nervous about, so forgive me.”

“Zuko, I love you unconditionally.”

Zuko blinked back tears. “Well. I...I like boys. I have my whole life, but my dad was really strict about it, and made me feel awful.”

“Ozai never was an open-minded person,” Iroh said, nodding. “Zuko. I don’t think of you any different because of this. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

He nodded. “I’m starting to come around to that fact. It’s just very hard. And there’s…there’s something else. And I haven’t talked to anyone about this.” Zuko swallowed thickly. “I’m not sure if I like girls. Not the way I should. I mean, I love Mai, she’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, but...there’s...a guy. And...I like him a lot. And it feels so different from how I feel about Mai. I’m worried that I’m going to hurt her again.”

“Well, I’m certainly no expert,” Iroh said, stroking his beard, “but I think I’m not the person you should be talking to about this. I think Mai should be the first person to hear these things.”

“I know, I know, but I can’t hurt her, she means so much to me.”

“Every time you find love, it will feel different,” Iroh said. “I am never going to find the kind of love I had with my wife, and I will never love anyone the way I loved my son. But I will also never love anyone the way I love you. Every love is different, and there’s no way of ranking them to see who you love more.”

“But what if--”

“You will drive yourself crazy with ‘what if,’ Zuko. This isn’t something you can deal with on your own. You need to talk to Mai, and this boy. Maybe together. Who knows, you could work something out.”

“Work something out? What do you mean?”

“I’ve seen many things, nephew. Many different ways to experience love. It’s not all restricted to one person at a time.”

Zuko couldn’t think of a single thing to say to that. He couldn’t even come up with a coherent thought about it. It opened up possibilities in his mind that he didn’t want to entertain, because getting his hopes up about something like that was pointless. It would never happen.

Then again, he would’ve said the same thing about kissing Sokka.

“Zuko, there you are.”

They looked up as Aang came into the room. Zuko wiped his face, smiling at the Avatar as he came closer. His mind was still stuck on what Iroh said, both desperately wanting it and trying to talk himself out of wanting it.

“Oh, hi, Iroh,” Aang said, waving. “I forgot you were coming today.”

“It seems everyone did, but I don’t mind.”

“Zuko, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Aang. You don’t have to worry about me so much. I can take care of myself.”

“Debatable.” Aang smiled. “I’m just checking in. I know what Sokka was saying now, but I wanted to tell you that we’ll still love you no matter what. Love whoever you love.”

“See? You have nothing to worry about, Zuko.” Iroh smiled. “You’ve got amazing friends to lean on. You’re truly growing into an amazing young man.”

“Thanks, Uncle.” He ran a hand down his face. “This has been an exhausting day.”

“Hey, wait a second,” Aang said, furrowing his brow and staring at Zuko. “Back in Ba Sing Se, is this why you and Sokka started acting weird? What happened between you?”

“Sokka?” Iroh said, surprised, a grin on his face.

Zuko flushed. “Shush, Aang, that’s got nothing to do with this.”

“Are you sure? You guys were acting so weird around each other, and you didn’t talk to each other for weeks--”

“Aang, I said it’s nothing to do with it!”

Iroh and Aang stared at Zuko, and he realized there was no getting out of this. The more he protested it, the more they would believe it was true. He put his head in his hands.

“Look, I have to go talk to Mai about some stuff,” he said. “I’ll see you later.” He didn’t wait for a response before pushing out from the table and leaving the room.

But he didn’t go to see Mai. He went to Sokka’s room instead. Sokka was going through some papers on his bed, his tongue sticking out between his teeth in concentration. Zuko stood at the threshold for a moment, letting whatever emotion he was feeling wash over him, before he said anything.

“What are you working on?”

Sokka jumped slightly. “Oh, just strategy stuff. Figuring out which troops we should bring home first, and what to do with them once they’re here.”

Zuko stepped closer, and saw that Sokka’s bed was covered in maps and charts and hastily scribbled notes. He picked up a map at random, just for something to do with his hands. “You sure are thorough,” he said, noting that Sokka even had his own way of denoting how many troops were in each area.

Sokka took the map from Zuko’s hands. “Yeah. No one ever said I did anything halfway.” He set the map back on the bed and stood up. “I think it’s time we talked. Actually talked.”

“I think you’re right.”

They walked through the palace, out the doors, and into the streets of the Palace City. Zuko had to reassure his guards that he would be fine, that he didn’t need any of the Kyoshi Warriors to come with him, that he and Sokka could take care of themselves. It was a warm night, but the streets were empty. He had no idea where they were going. He didn’t think Sokka did either. They were silent, walking almost shoulder to shoulder.

Zuko remembered the night in Ba Sing Se, walking around just like this.

“I know you like to correct people on things,” Sokka started, “but there’s some stuff I want to say and I need you to listen, okay?”

“I don’t like to correct people--”

Sokka glared at him, and he shut his mouth.

“Look…” They stopped beside a small park, empty this time of night. “I’m not saying that I want anything. I’m not saying that I’m expecting anything. But I wish you had told me sooner, about any of this. I know you were scared and you internalized a lot of what your dad told you, but I thought...I mean, I figured you would see that it was okay to like guys if you saw me liking you. I’m sorry that I didn’t communicate that well.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Zuko said softly. “I wish I’d had the courage to tell you. To tell anyone. No one knew until today. I mean, my father said all that stuff about...boys who like boys. But he didn’t realize…”

“Yeah. Wow.” Sokka sat on a bench, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. Zuko sat beside him. “I talked to Suki. It was a long conversation. She...she is way too good for me.”

“I know the feeling.”

Sokka smirked. “Yeah. Us and our wonderful women. But Suki, she said that she heard stories about people in bigger towns, on the mainland, who had more than one person.”

“Uncle mentioned that too, tonight. That there were a lot of ways to express love, and they all looked different.”

“This is something we need to talk with them about,” Sokka said. “Mai and Suki. But...I mean, it’s not something I would...hate...if it came to that.”

“High praise.” Zuko leaned back, staring at the stars. “I don’t know what...what I would even expect it to look like.”

“Me either.”

They were silent for a few minutes, and then Zuko sat up straight and looked at Sokka, who was still staring straight ahead. Zuko studied him, the profile of his face, the angle of his jaw, the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. He could look at Sokka for the rest of eternity and never get bored of his face.

“I think I love you.”

It slipped out before he could stop it, before he even thought about it. It slipped out because he couldn’t hide it anymore, he couldn’t hold it in. Today was his day of truth.

Sokka turned to look at him, surprised. But he didn’t say anything. He moved closer, gauging Zuko’s reaction, until he was sure that Zuko wouldn’t pull away.

Zuko never wanted to pull away again.

This time, when Sokka’s lips met Zuko’s, he savored every second of it. This time, it was Zuko who deepened the kiss, Zuko who brought his hands to Sokka’s hair. The world melted away, the bench, the park, the whole Fire Nation, it all ceased to exist. The only thing that mattered was Sokka. The taste of his lips, the feel of his hands on Zuko’s chest, the small noises he kept making in his throat, the way he smelled. It was all-consuming, overwhelming, but in the best way possible.

Sokka pulled back, looking as though he didn’t want to. “We should...stop,” he panted.

Zuko, also out of breath from the sheer exhilaration of it all, nodded. “I know. I don’t want to.”

Sokka pressed another quick kiss to Zuko’s lips, and then stood up, adjusting his clothes as he did. “Suki and Mai need to be part of this conversation.”

Zuko closed his eyes, trying to hold on to the feeling of Sokka’s body against him. “I know.” He finally stood up, adjusting his own clothes. “Let’s go.”

They started walking back towards the palace. After a minute or two, Sokka took Zuko’s hand and entwined their fingers.

Zuko was flying.

~~~

Mai and Suki had been asleep by the time they returned to the palace, so the boys went their separate ways.

Zuko lay awake in his bed, reliving the whole thing from beginning to end over and over again. He had never felt anything like this with Mai. Then again, he had never been made to feel ashamed for being with Mai.

Maybe Iroh was right. Maybe it was all going to feel different no matter who it was.

Maybe they could make it work.

The next day, after a night of fitful, dreamless sleep, Zuko was late to the daily meeting with his generals and the Peace Council. He urged his servants to get him together as quickly as possible, but there was a lot he needed to do. By the time he finally arrived in the Not-War Room, everyone else was already in deep conversation.

“Sorry I’m late,” Zuko said, hurrying to the front of the room. He could feel their eyes on him. “I had trouble sleeping.”

Sokka smirked and looked at his hands. Zuko tried to ignore him, but felt his cheeks grow hot regardless.

“My Lord,” a general said, “we have some news. We found the Dai Li agent who sent the orders from your sister.”

Zuko almost fell over. He had nearly forgotten they were still looking for him, still trying to solve that problem. Sokka had pushed all other thoughts out of his head.

“We have them in the Boiling Rock, my Lord,” the general continued when it became clear that Zuko wasn’t going to respond. “With very strict instructions to keep them from having outside visitors.”

“And what of my sister?”

“She’s still in her cell, my Lord. As far as the guards say, she hasn’t had any visitors at all.”

Zuko looked at Aang, who nodded. “Well, that’s about to change. Aang and I are going to see her.”

“My Lord--”

“No arguments. We need to settle this and deal with her.”

“I’m coming too,” Katara said. “In case she tries anything.”

“Katara, no,” Zuko said. “Aang and I are perfectly capable--”

“It isn’t about what you’re capable of, Zuko, it’s what _she’s_ capable of.”

“Couldn’t Aang just take her bending?” Toph asked, leaning back on the floor and reshaping her meteor bracelet. “Like he did with Loser Lord.”

Aang sighed. “I don’t want to rely on that. I had no choice with Ozai, but I still think we could get through to Azula.”

“You what?” Katara sprang to her feet. “Aang, you can’t possibly--”

“She’s just a kid, Katara, she’s your age. She was brainwashed just like Zuko.”

“Yes, but she’s a monster--”

“Enough!” Zuko said loudly. They all fell silent. “I’m not having this argument with you guys. She’s my sister, and Aang and I discussed that.”

“You know what she’s done, Zuko!” Katara said, not backing down from him.

“Nothing more or less than what I would have done without Uncle,” he replied. “We’re both victims of our parents, and she’s my sister. She’s my baby sister.”

“Katara,” Sokka said, touching her elbow, “this isn’t your fight.”

“Oh, sure, side with Zuko, like you always do,” she said, throwing her arms in the air.

“I’m not siding with anyone.” Zuko couldn’t be sure, but he thought Sokka blushed slightly. “I’m just being realistic here. Zuko should decide what happens with her.”

“She’s still dangerous with her bending, and I don’t care what you and Zuko have to say about it.” Katara sat against the wall, arms folded across her chest. “And I don’t know if I’ll ever trust her.”

Zuko sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Katara--”

“Don’t ‘Katara’ me, Zuko,” she snapped. “She made our lives miserable, and she made your life miserable.”

“She also made my life happy, too, once upon a time. She wasn’t always like this.”

“Just because you managed redemption doesn’t mean everyone can.”

“Katara,” Aang said, “we’ve made our decision, and that’s final. If we get to a point where we think she can’t be saved, I can take her bending. Okay?”

“I don’t know why you bother with this council, if you’re not even going to ask us about this stuff.”

The generals all exchanged glances, and Zuko realized this was going nowhere. He didn’t need the most powerful benders in the world fighting in his Not-War Room.

“Guys, please,” he said. “Please, can we just move on from this? I didn’t talk to you all about it because she’s my sister, the same way I didn’t talk to you about how I’m dealing with my father. Okay? It wasn’t because I don’t trust you, or I think you guys would try to do something I don’t want.”

Katara didn’t say anything, which was good enough. Zuko turned back to the rest of them.

“Do we have any more news from the front?”

“Just more good news, my Lord.”

“Good. Good.” He sighed. “We’ll have to start thinking about how to set the Earth Kingdom back on its feet, politically. But we don’t have to deal with that yet. Dismissed.”

The generals quickly left the room, while Zuko and his friends stayed. Katara was still against the wall, pouting.

“What was she like?” Sokka asked. “Before.”

Zuko looked at his hands. Even Mai couldn’t answer this, because Mai met Azula after she started bending. He bit his lip. “She was...well. My father, when I was born, thought I wasn’t a bender. And he wanted to kill me right then.”

“Can we kill him yet?” Suki asked.

He chuckled. “No. In time. My mom stepped in, but...I don’t think he ever forgave either of us for that. But Azula, she wasn’t obviously a bender either. She got to be named after our grandfather, but firebending doesn’t show up as an infant. And before she could bend, our father treated us both like we were expendable.”

“Couldn’t you bend first?” Aang asked. “Since you’re older?”

“Well, yes, but like I said, my father never forgave me or my mother. Azula started to bend at four. Pretty young, but she’s a prodigy.” He rolled his eyes. “I was six. That was the happiest I’ve ever seen my father. And at that point, he pitted me and Azula against each other. She was always the standard I had to live up to, and I was the threat of who she could be if she didn’t work hard enough. It wasn’t until she was six that it really started to change. But until then...she was my baby sister.” He looked up and locked eyes with Sokka. “And I’d do anything for my baby sister.”

“That’s very touching, Zuzu,” Toph said, “but she’s a monster.”

“She’s fifteen.”

“Yeah, yeah, but still. She made those decisions.”

Zuko tore his eyes from Sokka. “She was always bright, and she had a very unique sense of humor. She followed me everywhere. For the first five years of her life, I could do no wrong. I remember, there was this game we had, she was about two and I would pull her around the palace grounds on a sled, and she always fell off because I ran too fast, but she would just laugh and tell me to go again.” He smiled softly. “Her first word was my name. Well. It was Zuzu.”

“I highly doubt a baby could say Zuzu,” Katara said, rolling her eyes at him.

Zuko scrunched his face up. “Yeah, she...she couldn’t say the Z sound. So it...came out…” He sighed. “It came out as Doodoo.”

Katara and Toph started laughing uproariously. He knew Toph would never call him anything else ever again.

“I think it’s cute,” Suki said, although she was giggling too.

“Thank you, Suki,” Zuko said. “I appreciate your support.”

“Oh, this is wonderful,” Toph said, wiping tears from her eyes. “This is the best meeting we’ve ever had.”

“Do you think she remembers any of that?” Sokka asked.

“No, I doubt it. She was too young. And our father has a way of making us believe what he wants us to believe.” He thought about the night his mother disappeared, and how for so long he manipulated them into believing a certain version of the story. “My father was--is an evil man. But...my mother wasn’t perfect with Azula. She never treated her the way my father treated me, but it was obvious that I was my mother’s favorite. And my mother saw what Azula was turning into before any of the rest of us, and she tried to stop it, but my father is a powerful man. He can make anything happen.”

Aang frowned. “I wish we could go back in time and make him not your father.”

“Yeah. You and me both.”

“This has been very fun, Sifu Doodoo,” Toph said, getting to her feet, “but I’m going to head out. Katara, let’s go get lunch.”

The two of them left, giggling and glancing back at Zuko as they did. He covered his face with his hands.

“I never knew all that,” Mai said quietly. “I met her after all that stuff.”

“Yeah. She was very different.”

“Zuko, we should get to the prison,” Aang said.

“Yeah.” He sighed, glancing at Sokka. To his surprise, Sokka was still staring at him. He flushed and followed Aang out of the room. They walked to the prison in silence. Zuko couldn’t help but miss the sister he had back then. Things had changed so much.

“Are you ready for this?” Aang asked as they stood outside the prison gate.

“No. Let’s do it.”

The guards all bowed to him, and led the way to Azula’s secret cell. Zuko sometimes regretted putting her somewhere without a window, but he couldn’t risk anything else happening, especially now that he’d done so much work to earn the Earth Kingdom's trust. Her cell had a solid metal door, and Zuko stood outside it for a few seconds before he went in, Aang right behind him.

“Who’s there?” Azula cried, bringing her hands up to cover her face. It wasn’t that much brighter in the hallway, but the light still illuminated the space and made it look eerie. Just like Ozai, Azula was in a metal cage inside the room. Zuko sat a few feet from the bars.

“It’s just me,” he said. “And Aang.”

Azula chuckled darkly. Her hair had grown long, she had dark circles under eyes, and she hadn’t worn makeup in months. It broke his heart.

“Well, well, well, Zuzu,” she said, “finally come back to me, I see.”

“We know the Dai Li came to visit you,” Aang said, standing behind Zuko. “We know all about that plot.”

“Yes, I assumed that’s why you moved me here.” She gestured at the dreary cell. “What’s the matter, brother? Can’t handle a little competition for control? You used to love it.”

“I didn’t come here to argue with you, Azula,” he said. It had been months since their Agni Kai, months since he saw her utterly break down and become someone he didn’t recognize. For the second time.

“Then why are you here? And why is _he_ here?” She pointed to Aang.

“We’re here because Zuko believes there’s still some good in you.”

Azula scoffed. “You sound like Mother. ‘We can still save you, Azula. There’s still good in you, Azula.’ None of you actually believe that! You think I’m a monster. She thought I was a monster.”

“She didn’t,” Zuko said assertively. “She didn’t think you were a monster. She thought you were falling victim to one.”

Azula didn’t reply. She fell back on the bed and stared away from them. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Zuzu. Father just wanted what was best for us.”

“Father just wanted what was best for _him_ ,” Zuko replied. “It’s why he turned us against each other. Why he tried to make you Fire Lord when it wouldn’t matter, if he was ruler of the world. He only cared about himself.”

“Liar! He cared about me!”

“Azula.” Zuko got to his feet, despite Aang’s warnings, and stood just outside the bars. “Please. Dad only cared about you because you could carry on what he wanted.”

“That’s more than you can say.” She lunged towards the bars, but he didn’t back down. Clutching two bars and sticking her face between them, Azula stared at Zuko, eye-to-eye. “He never wanted you.”

“I know. I know that. And I’ve come to terms with that. But I haven’t come to terms with losing you.”

“You’re wasting your time,” she spat, shaking the bars and stepping back. “Goodbye, Zuzu.” She flopped down on the bed with her back to them.

Zuko stood outside the bars for a moment, then turned and left. Aang jogged to catch up as he wound through the hallways to the exit.

“Are you okay?” Aang asked.

“You don’t understand,” he said quietly. “You don’t have siblings. Toph doesn’t either. And Katara, she’s a younger sibling, she doesn’t get it either. There’s a bond you have, a sense of duty and obligation. When she was born, I swore to my mother I’d protect her.” He wiped his face.

“Maybe you could have, except your father was a monster.” Aang patted his shoulder. “There’s still time. At least we put the seed in her head. Who knows what will grow from that.”

“I appreciate you, Aang.” He smiled at the Avatar as they left the prison. “Even if I don’t always agree with you, I appreciate your advice.”

“Speaking of which,” Aang said, a mischievous grin on his face, “we should talk about Sokka.”

Zuko stopped dead in his tracks. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Well, that’s a lie. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you today.”

Zuko blushed and couldn’t look Aang in the eye. He just left Aang laughing in the street, trying to get home as quickly as possible.

~~~

They were so busy the next few days that it took a full week from the day he visited Azula for Zuko to finally arrange a time to meet with Mai, Sokka, and Suki. His heart was beating out of his chest, he was so nervous. He had no idea what would come of this meeting.

He sat in the throne room, wringing his hands so hard that they were starting to hurt. Mai was behind him, rubbing his shoulders, but it wasn’t really helping.

“I’m glad we’re finally doing this,” Mai said. “I know this is bothering you so much.”

He couldn’t even ask her what she wanted, because whenever he did, she just said they would discuss it with Sokka and Suki. He hadn’t been this nervous in a long time.

Sokka and Suki came in a few minutes later, and Zuko felt like he was going to pass out. They closed the door, checking to make sure no one but Ty Lee was outside. (Suki insisted on one of the Kyoshi Warriors being around, and Ty Lee was the only one Zuko trusted for this.)

“Um, hi.” Zuko’s voice was small, and he was staring at his feet.

“There’s no need to act like we’re about to execute you,” Suki said with a small giggle. When he flushed, she just laughed harder. “Honestly, Zuko, you worry too much.”

“You try leading a country,” he mumbled.

Sokka and Suki sat on the floor and waved for Zuko and Mai to join them. Zuko let himself be dragged along by Mai, sitting between her and Suki, which was unfortunate because it put him directly across from Sokka, and he knew he would never be able to pay attention now.

“So,” Suki said, “Mai and I have a confession for you two.”

“We already talked this whole thing through,” Mai said. “Without you two, because we knew you’d be useless.”

“I’m not useless!” Sokka protested.

“Without looking, what color is Mai wearing?” Suki asked.

“Black, easy question.” He looked over, and his face fell when he saw she was wearing red.

“See? Useless.” Suki laughed. “Look, we love you two, enormously, incredibly. And we have both been watching you struggle with this for months.”

“It wasn’t an easy thing to accept,” Mai said, “but we eventually realized that, you know, we could all get what we wanted.”

Sokka and Zuko stared at each other, and then at the girls.

“What are you saying?” Zuko asked carefully.

“If you and Sokka want this,” Suki said, “and you really feel the way you say you feel, the two of us will be along for the ride.”

“We love you,” Mai continued. “And we’re not letting you go. But we both feel like we can manage to share you.”

The boys stared at each other incredulously. Zuko had hoped, in the back of his mind, for something like this, where no one got their heart broken, but it had been such an outlandish hope that he didn’t let himself believe it. Based on Sokka’s expression, he was thinking something similar.

“But--” Zuko had to stop and get his words together. “Are you sure? Did you think about this? I mean, what if--”

“Zuko, this isn’t a one-and-done decision,” Suki said, putting her hand on his knee. “If we try it and it doesn’t work out, we can reevaluate then. Mai and I both want you two to be happy, and it’s very, very clear that you make each other happy.”

That made them blush. The girls laughed and stood up. “We’ll leave you two to sort this out,” Mai said, patting Zuko’s head. “Come find us when you’ve made a decision.”

Zuko and Sokka watched the two of them leave and close the door behind them. Then they slowly made eye contact again.

“Wow,” Sokka said.

“Yeah.”

“Some girls, huh?”

“Tell me about it.”

They laughed together, and then Sokka moved to sit next to Zuko, hip-to-hip. On Zuko’s good side, so he could hear, like he always did. It was the little things.

“What do you think?” Sokka asked. His voice was quiet, just for Zuko. His eyes, his beautiful eyes, roamed over Zuko’s face.

“I think a lot of things,” Zuko replied. His eyes were glued to Sokka’s lips. “But I think that...I want this to work this way. Because I can’t hurt Mai, I love her, but I also--”

“Yeah. Me too.”

Zuko leaned into Sokka, pressing their foreheads together. “Your sister is going to murder me.”

“It’s only fair,” Sokka said. “Yours tried to kill me several times.”

He laughed, and then he kissed him.

Their first kiss happened because they were drunk. Their second kiss was fueled by pure tension and desire. The third had still felt wrong and sneaky. But this...this was what their first kiss should have been. Slow at first, gentle, light touches, only to morph into something more, something deeper, faster. Zuko ended up on his back, Sokka poised above him.

They pulled back from the kiss, breathing deeply. Zuko couldn’t help but think about what his father would think of him right now. Just imagining Ozai’s furious expression made Zuko smile.

“What are you thinking about?” Sokka asked, brushing his thumb over Zuko’s lower lip and smirking.

“My dad would have a fit if he saw me making out with a boy in the throne room.”

Sokka threw his head back in laughter, and rolled onto his back next to Zuko. “That’s for sure. Maybe we should go make out in his cell and make him spontaneously combust.”

They laughed, and held hands, and after a few moments, Zuko sat up and pulled Sokka with him. He smiled and looked into the other boy’s eyes, and kissed him again, and again, and again, and he had no idea what would have happened if he’d been allowed to continue.

But, of course, Zuko wasn’t allowed to have nice things.

“Hey, Zuko, I was just wondering--”

He and Sokka threw themselves backwards, rolling on the ground, but it was too late. Katara had seen them.

Zuko slowly looked up at the door, and he thought for a split second that Katara was about to come over and snap his neck. She looked like she had when they confronted the man who killed her mother. It had been nice living.

“ _What_ are you two _doing_?” she yelled, slamming the door behind her. Zuko wondered where Ty Lee had gone. Perhaps she had left with Mai, thinking her job was done.

“Nothing,” Sokka said lamely.

“Don’t pull that with me, Sokka! You were _kissing him_! Zuko! The Fire Lord!” She turned to Zuko. “And _you_! What are you doing with my brother!”

“Katara, please,” Zuko said, holding up his hands in surrender. “If you just let us explain--”

“I’m going to get Suki and Mai right now, you two are _dead meat_!”

Before they could argue with her, she was gone, slamming the door again. Zuko looked at Sokka, who was looking back at him. They had matching mortified expressions.

“What do you think she’s gonna do?” Sokka asked. “When she finds out.”

“I don’t really want to think about that yet. I’m still recovering from this.” He rubbed his face and got to his feet. He was surprised, pleasantly, when he felt Sokka come up beside him and put an arm around him. “I can walk, you know.”

“That’s debatable,” Sokka said, squeezing Zuko’s waist. “You looked like you were about to fall.”

“Did I? Convenient.” He laughed and went to sit on the throne. Again to his surprise, Sokka sat on the arm, just like Mai did. “Are you really trying to get us murdered? Because that’s what’s going to happen. That’s what your sister is going to do.”

“The longer we hide, the harder it will be,” Sokka replied. “Besides, I feel powerful like this. Like I can boss people around.”

“It is nice, being Fire Lord,” Zuko said, putting a hand on Sokka’s knee. “It has tons of perks.”

They were interrupted, yet again, by Katara slamming the door open. Behind her were Mai, Ty Lee, and Suki, all looking amused and yet confused. Zuko almost moved his hand, but decided against it. Sokka was right; if they hid it from her, she’d never accept it.

“What is going on with you guys!” Katara said.

“Katara, calm down,” Suki said. It was a testament to Katara’s respect for Suki that she didn’t respond negatively. If Zuko had told her to calm down, she would absolutely murder him. “Look, the four of us have talked about this a lot. We didn’t involve you because, well, it’s not your business.”

“He’s my brother!”

“Yes, but he doesn’t get involved in your relationship with Aang, does he?”

“My relationship with Aang is _normal_ \--”

Sokka laughed. “He’s over a hundred years old, Katara.”

She moved to access her bending water, and Sokka flinched back, huddling into Zuko, which just made things worse.

“Katara,” Zuko said, standing up but not moving closer. “I get that this is weird, okay? I get it. I didn’t even tell anyone I liked guys until you all found out. It’s new to me too. But I swear on my mother that I will never hurt him.”

She stared at him, waiting for him to break, but he refused to look away. If there was one thing he was sure of, it was that. He would not hurt Sokka intentionally.

“Fine,” she huffed. “I don’t want to see it all over the place, okay?”

“That’s fair,” Zuko said, looking back at Sokka, who nodded. It was the least they could do.

“I have to take a walk,” Katara said, leaving as quickly as she had come. Ty Lee laughed and followed her, leaving the four of them alone.

“Well, that was fun,” Mai said. “I’m going back to what I was doing.”

“I have to get back to the Kyoshi Warriors,” Suki said, winking at the boys. “See you later.”

And then it was just Sokka and Zuko again. Zuko turned back, and started laughing when he saw that Sokka was sitting on the throne, back straighter than he’d ever seen.

“Bow before me!” Sokka said, adopting a ridiculous accent. “I’m all powerful! I am the Fire Lord!”

Zuko pulled Sokka up by the front of his shirt, kissing him quickly. “You’re the Loser Lord.”

“Hey, now that’s just abusive!” Sokka laughed, wrapping his arms around Zuko’s neck.

They looked into each other’s eyes. Zuko couldn’t believe the day he’d had. He bit the inside of his lip to convince himself he wasn’t dreaming. Satisfied, he leaned forward and kissed Sokka. The butterflies in his stomach hadn’t stopped fluttering since that morning, but kissing Sokka helped.

Sokka, for his part, seemed to find kissing Zuko just as nice. He turned them around and pushed Zuko onto the throne, climbing onto his lap and grinning. “What would your dad think now?” he asked, his knees on either side of Zuko’s thighs.

Momentarily, Zuko couldn’t respond. His brain had stopped functioning. And then he laughed. “He would hate this so much.”

“Good. Then let’s keep doing it.” Without waiting for a response, Sokka kissed him, harder this time, taking advantage of their position to run his hands up Zuko’s chest.

It was Zuko’s time to whimper pathetically with need. Sokka chuckled into the kiss, and grabbed Zuko’s hands to put on his waist. He had no coherent thoughts. There was only Sokka, and the places their bodies touched.

They didn’t leave the throne room for an hour.

~~~

The next meeting in the Not-War Room, Zuko finally addressed the elephant in the room.

The elephant that wasn’t him and Sokka, that is.

He stood in front of his generals, thinking back to all the times they’d disagreed, and how little they respected him at the start of his reign. But now, they tended to be on the same page, and they had to admit he was doing a good job dealing with the army.

“I want to thank you all for everything you’ve done for me,” Zuko said. “Your input has been...if not always followed, at least valued. I know that, despite everything we’ve said, you all have worked as hard as you can to do what needs to be done.”

“My Lord,” one general said, “are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

Zuko sighed. This was harder than he thought it was. “I think so. We’ve already started to decommission troops by the dozen. Some of them are staying where they are, helping to rebuild, and most of them are coming back home. The Fire Nation will experience a period of adjustment, but this will be good for us. We will have men for farms and factories and public works projects. You all know that I don’t plan on having a standing army. The navy ships will be disassembled and the parts reintegrated into our economy. I think you all know what this means.”

They looked between each other, probably understanding for the first time that their life’s work was about to end.

“I’m sorry it had to happen this way,” Zuko said sincerely. “If there was a way to keep an entire army employed while not destroying our economy, I would do it. But I can’t. And without troops to lead, well...there isn’t much point to a war council. I hope that some of you will stay in the palace, perhaps as advisers, but I understand that you may not want to.”

“Effective when, my Lord?”

“Whenever we give the orders for the last troops to be decommissioned.”

This put them at ease; they had barely decommissioned a quarter of the army. But Zuko didn’t think they understood that it would only go faster from here, not slower. As word got around, he assumed he wouldn’t have to send orders for the soldiers to abandon their posts.

There wasn’t much else to say, so he adjourned the meeting ahead of schedule. The mood was too low. He watched as they filed out of the room, and then looked at Aang.

“This sucks.”

“Yeah, it does.” Aang smiled. “But it needs to happen. This will be good for the Fire Nation. Think about how many homes don’t have fathers and oldest sons.”

“Think about how many will never have fathers again.”

Aang put his hand on Zuko’s back. “We can’t think like that. The past has happened, and if you dwell on it, you can never move into the future.”

“You’re stupidly wise for a kid,” Zuko said, smiling.

“I am a hundred years older than all of you.”

They walked through the palace to the turtleduck pond. Side by side, they sat and tossed pieces of bread into the pond, in silence. They didn’t need to talk. Zuko appreciated that about Aang; the little monk was a great silent companion.

“So,” Aang said after about ten minutes. “Sokka.”

Zuko rolled his eyes. “Fine, yes, we can talk about him now.”

“I’m happy for you. Both of you.” He elbowed Zuko. “Really. I think you’re good for each other, and Suki and Mai are good for both of you. No matter what Katara says.”

“Thanks, Aang.” He smiled. “That means a lot.”

“Speaking of.” Aang pointed over Zuko’s shoulder, where Sokka was coming towards them. The mere sight of Sokka still put butterflies in Zuko’s stomach.

“Zuko, I’ve got a surprise for you!” Sokka said, jumping up and down with excitement as he reached them. “I think I can finally pay you back for the space sword!”

“I told you, I didn’t do that to be paid back.”

“Oh, shush up, come here.” Sokka grabbed Zuko’s hand and yanked him away. “It’s a big surprise, I’m so excited for you to see it.”

Zuko smiled as he was dragged through the palace. Seeing Sokka this happy made Zuko happy. They wound through the hallways, passing servants and generals and a very confused group of Kyoshi Warriors, until they reached the throne room.

“Close your eyes,” Sokka said, stepping behind Zuko and covering his eyes anyway.

Zuko laughed and closed his eyes. They stepped forward gently, Sokka reaching around to push the doors open and then close the doors behind them. He moved Zuko forward through the room, until he stopped in what he assumed was the middle of the room.

“Cover your eyes, okay?”

Zuko brought his own hands up to his eyes to cover them, keeping his eyes shut. Sokka pulled his hands away and moved in front of Zuko.

“So,” he started, “you found my space sword for me. Which, again, I cannot ever thank you enough. And yeah, I know, you didn’t do it to be repaid for it, and I didn’t do this to repay you, but it’s a good trade, I think. It’s something I know you’ve wanted for a long, long time. I had to do a lot of reading, and talk to a lot of people for this. It’s a good thing you’re really, really oblivious to things, or you would’ve figured it out by now.”

“Hey, that’s not fair--”

“No, but it’s true. And you know it.” Sokka moved behind Zuko and put his hands on his shoulders. “But I can’t wait for you to see what I got you.”

Zuko could hardly stand the suspense. It was hard, because he couldn’t hear out of his left ear, but he thought he heard someone else in the room. Was it some weird surprise party? Or was his good ear just playing tricks on him? It wouldn’t be the first time.

“Open your eyes, Zuko.”

He was nervous. He didn’t know why, but he was nervous. Whatever Sokka had for him, it had to be good, and he wasn’t sure if he was emotionally ready. But he lowered his hands anyway, and slowly opened his eyes.

He almost dropped to the floor. There was someone else in the room. Sokka had really outdone himself this time.

“Mom.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all, so this is my first fanfic in almost seven years (I'm so old, goodness), and it's my first in the ATLA fandom, so I'm a bit nervous about this. Any and all feedback is appreciated. I hope I did these characters justice.
> 
> Huge thanks to [Sonny](https://bluberry-spicehead.tumblr.com/) who gave me the courage to write this. I was really nervous and I still am but she helped a lot.
> 
> Zuko's coming-out scene was based heavily on [this post](https://miamitu-illust.tumblr.com/post/623654807357587456/hes-a-little-confused-but-hes-got-the-spirit?is_highlighted_post=1), with permission from the artist.
> 
> I realized about 80% of the way through that there was a lot I wanted to explore and write about but didn't want this to be one super-long thing. So, unexpectedly, this turned into a multi-chapter literally at the end. Not sure when the next chapter will be out, though. I'll do my best.
> 
> In the meantime, find me on [Tumblr](https://richardgayseyiii.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Thanks :)


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